Dread feeding DS, food throwing & refusal etc

[livingaftermidnight]

My DS is 1, he is lovely - generally happy and a good sleeper but dinner times are so stressful with him at the moment and I don't know what I should be doing / where I'm going wrong really. I think the problem is that he is so happy playing he never wants to sit still and eat properly.

Generally what happens is we give him spoon fed meal, savoury snacks, spoon fed dessert, sweet snacks. We've always done a mixture of spoon feeding and BLW.

Ds sits in a highchair with sesame street on (only time he watches tv, we find it gives him something to focus on) and we feed him a puree/spoon meal first, (something like spaghetti bolognese) he'll sometimes eat nicely, other times he'll smack the spoon out of my hand or just cry and try to grab it. I try to ignore these behaviours and if he flat out refuses to co operate and eat I'll move on to the next bit of his meal. Other foods he will just chuck off of his tray without even trying. I find it all so frustrating and it makes me dread meal time with him.

Yesterday I tried giving him his own bowl of food and a spoon and he got on fine for the first few minutes, was eating nicely... then he just chucked it all on the floor. I've also started to let him use his own spoon with yoghurts etc.

I just don't know what he should be doing at this age (FTM) and I'm not sure if I'm reacting appropriately to him throwing or dismissing food.

Can anyone help?

@DelurkingAJ A good idea!

We have a dog, so the mess is automatically cleared up for us

I also relaxed since reading/replying, and last night baby sat with us and ate a steak dinner with his hands! I mean, we still had a mess... but he actually ate a variety of new food, calmly, happily, no YouTube to stop him crying/whining, was interested in his food... Hopefully we’ve cracked it!

This morning will let him have a proper go with a spoon for his porridge (usually it’s just for him to faff with, and I still feed him). Now all I need to do is crack his sleep, which has gotten worse and has me tearful every morning. But that’s for another thread!

Gnocchi is a good idea

Gnocchi is NOT a good on this, the wrong, thread though feel free to try it

If you’re on Facebook there is a really good page called ‘baby led weaning for beginners and beyond’. I would really recommend it. It’s all obviously 100% BLW but you could do pre loaded spoons for yogurts. Some great food ideas too and it stops the whole screaming/ wrestling with the spoon situation. I thought to myself and decided I wouldn’t really want to eat puréed food so now I’ve given them up and gone straight for BLW. DD go to food at the moment is pasta, omelettes and fruit. She’s 7 months and we are still experimenting.

Can you all sit down and have meals together? To model to him how to eat. No TV. Put him in nappy and let him get messy. No spoonfeeding- it doesn’t sound like it is working and at 1 your baby is smart enough to know what he will/ won’t like to eat. I know you say you’ve tried it but can you adapt what you eat it and give to him?

Sorry just seen your update. Glad it’s going better. I think weaning is so stressful especially worrying when they’re not eating much!

By 12 months we all sat at the table and ate together. No TV. Just sociable eating. I never made separate meals at that age, just didn't add salt when cooking. So we all ate things like roast dinner, lasagne, macaroni cheese, shepherds pie etc. I cut theirs up small. I do think eating together is important. They learn by copying.

I’m glad he’s doing so well.

The mess did drive me DEMENTED, well not really the mess as I didn’t mind them making the mess as they need to learn but the cleaning up. FMD it was relentless...but it doesn’t last forever - it just feels like it at the time 💐

They weren’t ‘allowed’ to throw it on the floor though. I know they all do, but they were told very firmly ‘no’ and soon learnt just to leave it if they didn’t want it and they were given a variety of things together, but only in small amounts at a time (which I’d replace as they ate it) my friend, however, piled their trays up with enough for two adults & let hers all throw it around and kept telling me I wasn’t letting them experience it fully 🙄 Yeah whatever 🤣. I wanted kids I could take places and only make an age appropriate mess which I cleaned up, not like there had been a chimps tea party that was then left for the cafe to clean up. We stopped taking the kids out together anywhere that involved food (other than picnics) as I was far too embarrassed

Let your child fed themselves it's frustrating at that age at 1 they should not be having purees but real food. Am no good with purees advice as I done proper baby led weaning with my premmie and he can use a spoon at 17 months

Also thowing food can be a sign child is full

Sounds like the tactics here are working. I agree with oilcloth sheet or shower curtain under where they sit, what you are eating as long as it is not too salty and let them get on with it.

Oh and food off mummy or daddies plate is always tastier and more interesting!

My DS at this age would eat anything on MY plate. So I put half his toast on my plate.

I’d let him feed himself with his hands more

Don’t worry if he drops stuff and try not to stress

Thanks everyone, this thread has been so helpful!

A lot of people suggesting we eat at the same time, in our house its just not really practical as we have a tiny house and no space for dining table/eating area (me and DH eat tea on the sofa ) I just put DS's highchair either in the kitchen or living room and he eats there. We do eat breakfast together as thats easy but lunch I like to have when he is having his nap (as its usually the only chance I get to sit down all day) and dinner has to wait til DH is home so around 7.30pm usually - DS goes to bed at 6.30pm. I do try to eat bits of food off DS's plate (bits of cucumber etc) to encourage him though.

Things have got so much better since I let him take control. Hardly anything has been thrown and although I'm not sure he's eating as much as he was with purees it doesn't seem to have affected sleep or anything.

Great it’s been so quickly improved! We don’t eat together either. We eat later (baby goes to bed at 6.30/7ish. Sometimes do breakfast and sometimes lunch but tbh I find it difficult to cook food whilst he’s with me (very mobile, sometimes clingy). And I can guarantee if I make something I want to eat, he will spurn it! I think you have to work with who you and your baby are.