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Original poster

Total wits end - 4 month old

14 replies

mummyp3e3 · 30/01/2019 16:01

Hi all, I'm at my total wits end with my 4 month old, she's so lovely but for the past 3/4 weeks all naps have gone out the window and night time sleep isn't much better. I believe she's going through the dreaded sleep regression period having read up on it, but I am at the most exhausted I've ever been in my life, I'm averaging two hours broken sleep every night if I'm lucky. On Sunday she was awake the entire day, we tried 3 attempts to put her down and each attempt she woke up.. yesterday she went down for 8 and within an hour she woke up in hysterics and took 2 and half hours to settle her back to sleep, OH had her over his shoulder and rocked and shushed her, but within an hour of being put down she woke up again so I fed her back to sleep. She's ebf and I normally nurse her to sleep but I have to wait a full 20 minutes to put her down before moving her. Please can someone tell me this sleep regression will get better, she used to be a good napper, had an hour in half in morning plus two hours in the day. Everything's gone out the window, I'm more so worried about her and the long term effects of not sleeping. OH and I are at breaking point, he often wakes up to see me upright asleep with her on me, yesterday we were both teary as we literally do not know what to do. I've tried everything, taking her out, driving, sling, we do bath and feed routine every night like clockwork still. She's too young to do cc and CIO and even if she wasn't it'd break my heart to hear her cry because she thinks I've left her. OH and I don't have any family close by. I want to enjoy being a mummy and at the moment I just feel so upset and exhausted that she won't sleep and no matter what I do it doesn't work. Please can anyone offer any advice or hope it'll get better.

OP posts:

eastie1122 · 30/01/2019 16:04

My baby is almost 5 months and we were in your exact place too! Thankfully we have the night time sorted. Baby only wakes once around 4 now so that's good...but...day time is a disaster! Baby will only sleep whilst being held/walked in the pram/driven in the car! So ita almost impossible to do anything! Following for tips!

TillyTheTiger · 30/01/2019 16:07

I've been exactly where you are and I honestly thought it would kill me at the time.
What saved me was mastering lying down to feed. Do you have a next to me cot? The only thing that worked with DS was to feed him to sleep, then leave him exactly where he was, and ninja roll away once he was settled to fall asleep myself because I was so knackered. Obviously this only works if baby is on a safe sleep surface to start with - we ended up with his cot mattress on the floor when he started rolling over, as we didn't have a next to me crib.
It is just a phase and it will get better I promise - you are a great mum and you're not doing anything wrong. Just some babies aren't good sleepers.

Willow4987 · 30/01/2019 16:13

My DS is 5.5 months and starting to come out the other side

Night times for us consisted of him doing the first sleep on me until I went to bed (so from about 8pm - 10pm) then he’d wake for a feed at about 1/2 and then again every 2 hours. He mainly wanted a cuddle though. In the end it would get to about 4am and I’d bring him into bed with me and we’d safely co-sleep. DH slept in the spare room for most of this as there’s not enough space for all of us

Daytimes consisted of me walking him around /rocking either in my arms or a sling until he fell asleep (normally with me shushing or singing to him) and then letting him sleep on me - it was literally the only thing that worked. If you do this be prepared and make sure you have snacks/remote controls nearby so you can reach them when pinned under a baby

I also implemented a really strict 2 hour routine - basically I’d start the walking/rocking 2 hours after he woke up as if he wasn’t back to sleep by 2 hours he was super grumpy and it made it worse

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

Willow4987 · 30/01/2019 16:16

Oh I forgot to add - once he’d been asleep for 45 mins he without fail cry’s and starts waking - if I don’t jump on this and help him transition to the next phase it’s game over and he’s awake. This is where sleeping on me in the day and first nighttime sleep helped as I could make sure he was being shushed/patted/rocked etc back to sleep

We’re still doing the first night time sleep like this as it makes transition to his cot easier as he’s then in a deeper sleep and doesn’t wake as regularly.

Original poster

mummyp3e3 · 30/01/2019 17:44

Does something just click and it automatically gets better?? Because I really don't know what else to try, we do have a next to me crib but the sides gone up now as she can roll over and I often find her lopsided in the morning, we did try Co sleeping but through fear of squashing her I got even less sleep then what I'm getting now. I really don't know what else to do, when I actually do get her down for a nap it lasts about 20 minutes before she wakes up again.

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/01/2019 18:03

Like PP suggested, can you keep her downstairs with you until you go to bed?

Have you tried using a T-shirt DH has worn as the sheet in her crib and have you tried swaddling it white noise?

Original poster

mummyp3e3 · 30/01/2019 18:13

Yep, tried all of that, she wriggled out of swaddle, she also furiously stamps her feet in the night so much so it shakes the crib. We used to take her up at 11 when I went to bed but it ended up in her waking up and not settling for two hours plus :(

OP posts:

Willow4987 · 30/01/2019 18:32

Mine LO can roll over and is in a next to me crib. We haven’t put the side up as he can’t roll out of it as the bed is in the way

My DS is a bit of a mummy’s boy and daddy’s t shirt just wasn’t the same so could you put on of your tops under the sheet?

MBM18 · 30/01/2019 20:19

I went through the same with my 5 month old. She now sleeps in bed with us and always naps on me after falling asleep from a breastfeed. I too spent ages trying to put her down in her crib after she fell asleep on me only for her to wake up every single time, it's so hard when you're just so tired yourself. I was scared of bed sharing too in case I rolled on her but if you google safe bed sharing or co sleeping there's a certain way you position your body that stops you from rolling, but to be honest I don't think you would ever roll as even asleep you're so aware they are there. Now we both get so much more sleep and when she feeds in the night I just breastfeed her in bed and she doesn't even wake up, it's great!

littlemisscynical · 31/01/2019 05:39

Went through the same here too. It will get better. DS is now 10 months and is an excellent sleeper now. Two good naps a day and sleeps 7pm to 7am. Just do what you have to do to get yourself through it. Can you go to bed early? We had to start going to bed at 7pm ourselves for a while as DS would have slept until 11/12 then he'd be up every hour.
Feel for you. It is so hard.

littlemisscynical · 31/01/2019 05:40

A sling during the day saved me.

littlemisscynical · 31/01/2019 05:41

Sorry just saw you do use a sling

RednaxelasPony · 31/01/2019 05:48

At that age DC only napped on me, upright. I gave up chores and kept a stash of water, snacks, phone charger by the sofa.

Night time DH and I did shifts. I went to bed at 7pm. DH gave an expressed feed around 11pm. Then DH held DC upright and watched tv until 1am. Brought DC to me then I held DC while DH retreated to spare room for sleep.

Would that be possible for you?

niclw · 01/02/2019 15:13

I'm having the same problems at the moment. I'm a single mum and my 4 mth old is going through the regression and has also learnt to roll from back to front but cries every time he ends up on his tummy as he can't get back yet. Last night it was every 15 mins for a few hours. I'm surviving on two hours sleep last night so was reading this thread in the hope of finding a solution. I think we just have to remember that we are doing everything that we can and that we will reach the other side soon. Good luck x

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