Is this ocd?

[poldarkssecretlover]

I think my daughter (7) has ocd. She gets very anxious about fires happening or about me or dh dying, sometimes it can take over an hour to select her at night if she's very hysterical. She has to have everything just so at bedtime- her cupboards have to be open, her duvet has to be lying completely flat, the door has to be slightly open at the right angle etc. If we kiss her it has to be an even not an odd number of kisses.

We've kind of gone along with it so far thinking it's probably just a phase but just lately there's been an acceleration in it. She won't let me touch her because I'm "dirty", she's very fixated on her appearance- her hair has to be done 20 or 30 times before we leave the house and she gets hysterical about it not being right. Her wrists are covered in self inflicted scratches. The hardest thing has been her clothes. Thankfully she will wear her school uniform but normal tops she keeps pulling them down at the front, sometimes I even hear them ripping and she says hysterically "I can't wear this it shows my boobs!" and the top is flung off. Same with trousers. It's a nightmare if we have to go out anywhere. She's also extremely aggressive- shouting horrible things and attacking us physically over the slightest thing.

It's causing so much stress and arguments, we just can't deal with it anymore on our own.

poldark all of that sounds incredibly difficult for all of you

Have you spoken to her Teacher about her behaviour at home? Does the Teacher have any concerns about her behaviour at school?

Have you spoken to your GP too? I think it's worth asking for an assessment by a Paediatrician.

We are speaking to the school tomorrow. Today she's violently attacked me just because I asked her to put a top and trousers on.

poldark it must be so upsetting. Our DD can be quite challenging at times but doesn't have the thing with clothes or self harm.

A lot of what you've said seems to fit in with ASD, although I'm not trained. I've just read a bit as I've been wondering for a while whether to get our DD assessed.

Sorry to hear this, it must be a difficult time for your family.

To me, it does sound like OCD. My sister has OCD but I am by no means an expert. Just some of the things you have mentioned sounds similar to my sister. Some people think OCD is just washing your hands or repeatedly checking a door is locked etc, but it's really not. My sister too is fixated on her appearance, likes things a certain way, is extremely tidy and likes to have constant reassurance. I would definitely speak to someone, maybe your GP first of all and see what they recommend but I would think she would need to speak to a professional who can help.

Hope that has helped x

It does sound like it could possibly be anxiety/ocd (I have ocd myself, so I recognise things in there that I myself would do or be stressed about).

But beyond that, ocd can be (and I would say, I think, often is) a way of the brain dealing with something bigger that's going on, and doing rituals or stressing about seemingly odd things becomes a means of directing anxiety caused by something else entirely at a somewhat controllable aspect of life. This can be abuse, or it can be some other trauma. The self-harming in particular is a massive red flag (I have also self-harmed in the past). I think you need to have her seen urgently by someone who can evaluate what's going on and get her some support. I suspect there is an underlying source of trauma she's dealing with and this is the way it's all bubbling out to the surface. The good thing is that you have the potential to catch it early while she can learn healthy ways to manage it all.

Please see a gp it's not a matter for her teacher.

See GP and ask for referral to local CAMHS service.

Sounds like OCD but also possibly ASD. They commonly co-occur.

Good luck x

Thank you, she's having a session with the school nurse next week so hoping to get feedback from that and will take it from there.

If it is a trauma it must be something happening at school, her home life has always been very loving and relaxed and she's never gone without anything. I've involved the school initially because I suspect the root of the issue is there.

Dd15 was diagnosed with ocd and anxiety last year. Took years to get the diagnosis and the medication. I would say your dd is showing signs of ocd/anxiety which will worsen when puberty hits. Make an app with gp and ask for a CAMHS referral. The process takes forever. School and the school nurse wont be able to do anything really. Cbt will help her massively.