When to have number 3

[karen01]

HI All

I have really been thinking about having another baby. DD 8yrs, DS 11wks. I really want another one but I feel guilty about wanting another whist DS is so young and needing so much attention. , I am thinking about maybe trying once DS has turned 1 ( along way yet I know but...) I just don't want a huge gap that I have got between DD and DS.

Also had big probs in first pg but second one was al ike a dream ( monitered closley) Does this mean that as number 2 was fine I won't be monitered or because problems have occured once they have a higher possibility of happening again.

Sorry I just wanted to get this written down as I am sick of thinking it over and over by myself. I know DH is ok re having another ( would be his 2nd)
ps we are both still youngish, we will both be 29 next bdays.

Hi karen01 my ds is just over 4months old and he is just the most beautiful little boy and i too would like another but i think i should wait until at least he has had his first birthday.I agree about not having a big age gap.I think that you should just do what you both feel is best.It could take you a while to fall pregnant anyway.

I bet you'll get pg immediately, so don't start trying until you think you want a baby in nine month's time. All pregancies are different. Some probs are more likely to recur than others. What happened in your first pregnancy? There is a huge difference between an eight year gap and a nine month gap! I personally have really loved ds's babyhood and didn't feel ready to even think about adding to the mix until he was over two. I will have number two when he will be three and five months and feel happy with that. You have to make the decision that feels right for you and your family.

message withdrawn

I conceived ds when dd was 12 months old. It's worked out fine and dandy (albeit hard work). At 21 months (my dd's age when ds came along) children can often be more accommodating of change - they tend to quickly forget there ever was a time before baby arrived.

I see that a slightly bigger gap has worked well for twiglett, but I have friends who had another when next in line sibling was 3 or 4, and they advise that their 3 / 4 yr old had a harder time accepting the baby

Mind you, I would agree that it would probably be easier on you to have a 3 year gap, since 3 year olds tend to be a bit more manageable than terrible two's (as a rule)

Thanks for your replies. I have been thinking about this all night, ( I am a natural worrier!!) Even though it will be hard waiting I do feel that waiting until DS is 2 the best option, this way I get all his major milestones with him on his own. I think what makes my broodiness worse is DS is so good, not a whingy baby at all just very content. He has been sleeping for 12-14 hrs a night for the past 2.5weeks. ( the same as DD was) so I find the baby years a breeze as they both fell into an excellent routine. ( DD always out playing or at school at mo, we get our time when DS is in bed on a night.)
Aloha with my first pregnancy I went for my 28wk check and I was 7 weeks to small for dates, sent straight to the hospital, after scan midwives clled for the cinsultant who took me into his room and informed me that by the scan my baby was the size of a 21-22 weeker and that I had v little fluid (1 cm was the deepest patch) he suspected that my wates had gone without me realising at about 21weeks due to DD having dolicopholous (skull getting crushed due to pressure.) They couldn't see any lungs either so I was given an MRI to see if we could see any, to make sure the pg was viable. ( I was also given an amnio on what little waters I had to check for infection) I was given a very low chance of having a live birth. As they could just see lungs they decided it was better to leave me to see if I went into labour naturally, I was kept in hospital and scanned 2-3 times a week,given steriod injections every 10day (dexamethazone for DD lungs)and checked for infection twice a week, at 30 weeks my placenta started to show signs of deteriating (sp!!) By 35 weeks this had got worse so section was planned for the following week. DD was born at 36wks weighing 4lb14oz which was better than anyone expected, and all the doctors etc where stunned that she didn't need special care, after her lumbar puncture she was on the ward with me.she has been perfectly healthy since. (Sorry it was long winded.)