Bad eating habits, help!

[Cheeseandpickle1]

My DS is 2 1/2 yrs old and will not eat any home cooked meal he refuses every meat & fish.
I’ve always encouraged a healthy home cooked meal for the family and would always offer him the same as us. Although he would always push the plate away. Now at 2 years old he is still refusing any cooked meal. He will only eat toast, cereal, fruits, CHIPS, porridge & he will nibble on a cheese sandwich and like us all he enjoys the odd bag of crisps other than this he shows no interest in being adventurous when it comes to food. I feel like I’ve tried everything, I’ve hidden veg in yoghurts and I’ve tried to make the meals look appealing to a toddler but he shows no interest what so ever.

He currently attends nursery 4 days a week and was initially on school dinners but a month down the line we took him off school dinners as he would refuse to eat them and go all day without eating anything. Plus it was a complete waste of money for us. He now has pack lunches which again he picks at too.

I’ve been advised from his key worker to have him put back on school dinners, in hopes that this time he will show more interest alongside his peers. I’ve also been advised to give him what we eat for dinner, if he doesn’t eat then he can go hungry .
This really does make me feel uncomfortable, I’ve tried this once before and as soon as he gets in bed it’s complaints “I’m hungry, mummy toast, cereal”, what shall I do? Stick it out, if he doesn’t eat the cooked meal then he goes hungry or do I give in?! I really can’t have him just living off chips and cereal all his life it’s ridiculous.

Does anyone else relate or can give me some advice.
Thank you in advance

My DD is 2 and 4 months, and also quite fussy with food. She will only eat what she likes and even though I have also offered home cooked meals, etc, she refuses it. She will eat fruits, sandwixh but only jam, crisps, yoghurt, cheese sometimes, waffles, chocken, saisages that sort of thing. Wont eat vegetavkes, pasta, baked beans, mashed potato, egg or anything i have cooked at home. I just think that for us, as long as she is eating something hopefully as she gets older she will try more things. I don't want to push food on her as I don't want her to have issues with food. And I don't agree with offer it and if they don't eat it let them go hungry. Try not to worry, hopefully it's just another phase that they will get through.

Apologies for typos!!

Have you tried him with meat alternatives? Loads and loads in supermarkets now and things like quorn and gardein don’t have the texture which is probably putting him off meat

Ok your situation sounds similar to mine, minus the meat etc. Yes maybe when he grows older he will be more adventurous with food, I hope so anyway!
I feel so terrible giving him chips for dinner and cereal it’s so not what I was expecting.

I don’t agree with letting them go hungry either, I will see how this goes. Thanks!

That’s true about the texture, I have not tried him on meat alternatives as of now. Maybe I will give this a go. Even when he has something different on his plate he turns his nose up and won’t even try it. That’s the most frustrating part, he doesn’t even try the food he just pushes it away. Maybe he would enjoy it if he just gave it a try. Thanks for the advice.

I’m experiencing exactly this with my DS, also 2 1/2yrs. It’s so frustrating when he won’t even try what everyone else is eating

I only read this recently op, but apparently there are physiological reasons that make toddlers programmed to be fussy eaters sarahockwell-smith.com/2018/01/18/picky-or-fussy-eater-parents-its-not-your-fault/

Ours eat the family meal. If they choose not to, then they get a piece of fruit and milk (standard anyway). When DS was 2 he decided not to eat dinner. So he went to bed without, he didn't refuse again. Some days he eats all his dinner, other times he picks. But on the whole all 3 of mine eat what I make as they basically know it's that or nothing.

In your shoes I would let him have school dinners (he's picking at his lunch regardless), then show him pics on meals you could make together (mac and cheese, jacket potatoes with filling etc.) Get him in the kitchen helping. That seriously helps, give him an element of choice what you make (but choices YOU want, so.. pasta or rice?....peas or sweetcorn?)

Before changing anything though I would discuss with HV as there could be an underlying need that hasn't been identified next.

Good luck OP, parenting is tough. Take care.

My friend's daughter went like this at about 2 and is still like it at 5. She has tried everything and is now under a children's dietician. One of the things that has helped is putting food into serving bowls/dishes in the middle of the table so that everyone helps themselves at mealtimes.

My dd was under a dietician (age 3, then, just) for suspected food allergies but she also has quite a limited range of food she'll eat and likes 'picnic' stuff breadsticks, cucumber, so on. I was told not to worry too much because 1. it's very common and 2. calories are more important than nutrients at this age.

I agree about texture, I am like that myself, I prefer crunchy things, and I can see dd leans this way too. I have been following the idea of always having one thing on the table she will eat so if we have a roast dinner I will also make alphabites. She will eat those. Recently she has started to have the yorkshire pudding too. So, whilst alphabites and yorkshire pudding is not the best meal ever it's not the worst and because she started to add the yorkshire of her own accord I am hopeful veg and meat (maybe even plain potatoes?!) will follow one day if it's put in front of her every week.

Also, whilst she won't eat cooked carrot, she will eat raw carrot sticks IF presented just before the meal (not at the table) and used to be only if they were standing on end in a cup, but this week she did eat them off a plate when I had no cups clean! Progress!!

I am a fan of this website and am trying to follow her advice www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/

It's so frustrating isn't it! My 4 month old is showing more interest in food than my toddler.

Thanks i’m going to give that a read.
Last night he tried a tiny bit of his brothers porridge, thinking it was ice cream. When he realised it wasn’t he was gagging and spitting it all back out.

Smile19
Thanks for that, yes I think I might give that a go. Persistence is key and he will understand that if he doesn’t eat his dinner hen he goes to bed hungry.
I will see if helping in the kitchen makes him more keen.

LetsPlayBamboozled
That’s good news for me calories over nutrients. That’s fantastic that your daughter eats raw carrots! My son says “errr disgusting” one of my friends daughter will eat vegetable soup everyday as a starter before her meal, I think that’s fantastic. I hope this is a phase.
I wouldn’t be worried alphabites and Yorkshire puddings is a good start, hopefully she will show some interest into the chicken soon!
Surely they can’t live off carbs forever!

My fussy 4 year old regularly had me in tears when he was younger by refusing to eat pretty much anything. I took all the battle away and gave him what he would eat. I found out pretty fast that he was perfectly happy to starve himself and he lost 4lbs in a week once by not eating. I'd rather have a child that ate something than a child not eating at all.

Fast forward a bit and yesterday I got told that he had 2 servings of chicken curry and rice for lunch at nursery and also ate a little bit of sweetcorn with his jacket potato at tea time!

I am slowly introducing other things like green beans (to start with I said they were broccoli stalks!) and I do feel we are making progress, albeit slow!