Nursery - Settling in

[WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream]

My 2yo DD started nursery on 7th Jan, she does 8.45-12.30 Mon-Thu.

In December ahead of her starting her proper hours we did lots of settling in sessions so going for an hour and I'd stay with her, then up to two hours and she'd stay alone, in the sessions she never settled and would cry every time I left, sometimes she'd stop the hysterical crying after 5 mins but still cry on and off for the session while playing as well. Other times she'd cry for a full half hour.

Now she has started her proper hours the crying hasn't eased, she wakes on a morning and asks 'nursery today?' and I say yes and then she'll spend all morning crying saying 'no nursery' and has cried that bad a few times has made herself sick. She loves her key worker and I always hand her over to her for cuddles and nursery assures me she settles down within 5 minutes some days, other days she takes a bit longer but does always settle and when I pick her up she's always happy and had a lovely day.

Since Friday (she doesn't go nursery on a Friday) she has spent all day on and off asking 'no nursery?' And we reassure her no nursery today. This is worrying me as it shows she's worried about going.

I don't know what to do. Should I pull her out? Give her more time to settle? She does have a lovely time when she's there it's just the build up to going on a morning, she's very upset and it's awful to see.

Any advice please?

Does she have to go to Nursery? Unless you're at work I'd pull her out. It sounds far to stressful for both of you

I waited til my daughter was 3 to send her to nursery and she has only gone then because she needs to get ready for school in September. She has started two short days a week and has been there since October and cries almost every time I take her and it’s horrible and she too asks every day if it’s a nursery day and gets upset when she knows she has to go in. I do wonder if perhaps we had started at 2 whether she would have found integrating easier. I would stick with it as it could get harder at 3 as she would be more used to being with you.

She doesn't have to go to nursery no, that's why I feel so guilty sending her but when she is at home with me she gets very bored and twisty and just wants to watch the tv all the time 😢

That's my worry @scarylea that if I pull her out and leave it until she's 3 she'd just either be the same anyway or worse as she's had another year at home with me. I just didn't know if I was expecting too much as she's only been there since Jan, or if she should have settled by now. I suppose all kids settle differently though.

I'm just stuck as to what to do for the best

Gosh wait until 3 if you don't need to send her, they mature a lot in that year.

I'd say pull her out or maybe try a childminders if youre determined.
Fwiw my eldest cried every drop off at the childminders was tears for 6 months. Changed to a different one and she used to run in with no backwards glance.
Middle child tried preschool aged 3 and wouldn't settle. Tried again aged 3.5 and again ran in every time without a backwards glance.
Third child has been at the childminder's since 7th January. He's protested a couple of times but I can tell he's not serious and last drop off he was absolutely fine
I think you know if the setting is right for them. Don't keep trying if it's not going to work. Try somewhere else or try again when she's older.

Thanks everyone, I think I'll end up pulling her out it's too stressful for us both. It seems needless when she doesn't have to go.

Good idea about trying a childminder, I wonder if that would suit her more.

Nursery was not a match for us so we are with CM.

I agree, I would definitely pull her out if she didn't have to go it sounds truly awful for her and yourself she is still a baby really.

If she’s wanting to watch tv all of the time, can you do some other things with her like going swimming one day, playgroup another, gym tots or nature tots another?

Both of mine got bored easily at home but we’re much better if we got out regularly. Things they did like at home were things like dusting, hoovering, baking, play doh, loading the washing machine, sweeping floors. Basically, doing things with me 🙂

There’s lots of ideas to keep her busy at home on Pinterest too

Sorry just wanted to add our personal experience. D d went to one Nursery at 2 and really didn’t settle so I pulled her out. We tried a different Nursery at 3 and DD settled straightaway. She went for 2 shortish days (9 to 3) a week and had one day with DGP while I worked and loved it.

It could be that she’s young and will be better later or that the Nursery isn’t right for her but either way, I’d pull her out.