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Original poster

Should I lesve my baby overnight?

28 replies

Geordiemummy · 26/01/2019 23:44

Hi, I’m looking for advice.

I’m due to have my first child at the end of February and I intend to breastfeed them.

A girl I don’t really know has asked me to be her bridesmaid, and wants to go away to a spa overnight in July for her hen do. My husband would be able to babysit but right now I really don’t know if I would be comfortable leaving the baby as it will be so little and I won’t have left them overnight before then.

When did you first leave your child overnight? How dI you deal with feeding the baby when your not around?

Thank you

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ReaganSomerset · 26/01/2019 23:46

I've still not left mine overnight and wouldn't be able to. She's 7 months old. Some people are fine with it, but I personally wouldn't. Hard to know how you'll feel until you've had the baby.

Wallabyone · 26/01/2019 23:48

I've excluding breast fed mine, and wouldn't have left them overnight at that age, as I didn't express and didn't want to leave them.

midpond · 26/01/2019 23:48

I think you'll be absolutely fine for one night.
If your milk supply isn't strong enough to pump over the week before by then you'll likely be supplementing anyway.
And you'll be so thankful for the rest and peace for 36 hours. I would plan to go. But get your baby used to a bottle nipple over the few weeks before if you haven't already.

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MyKingdomForBrie · 26/01/2019 23:49

It can totally depend on the baby, and on how you feel when she's here. You just can't know at this point. I could have expressed and left my dd with dh but my ds won't reliably settle for a bottle (and id need to express absolutely litres to get him through a night!). I left dd for one night for a hen and my boobs were so uncomfortable even with expressing while I was away because she still fed so often.

It's not a good friend, I would just say you can't agree to come to the hen because you don't know if you'll be in a position to leave baby.

3boysandabump · 27/01/2019 00:00

I could have left my first 3 no problem. Dc4 is nearly 6 months and a total Velcro baby. He will only settle for me. He'll take a bottle when he's hungry but he likes his boobs there for comfort and when he's tired and things.

There's no way you'll really know until nearer the time.

Onandonandons · 27/01/2019 00:06

I wouldn't go. She won't be on solids so reliant on you. I didn't stay away over night until dd was 3.

PatricksRum · 27/01/2019 02:34

Ebf and haven't left my 6mo baby alone for a second.
Friends have but I just couldn't, especially overnight but you may be able to.

SilverBirchTree · 27/01/2019 03:42

I wouldn't count on being able to leave the baby at that age.

Also your partner will be parenting when he is caring for the baby without you- Not babysitting.

Congratulations on your baby!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/01/2019 07:28

A girl you don’t really know asked you to be a bridesmaid???
You won’t know OP until your baby is here, when do you have to confirm by?

SnuggyBuggy · 27/01/2019 07:34

I wouldn't have wanted to leave DD at that age. I mean it's doable but I wouldn't have wanted to.

RockinRobinTweets · 27/01/2019 07:35

You can’t commit to it unfortunately. It is quite likely that your baby would take a bottle if they’ve always had one but I think you could be quite uncomfortable, physically as well as mentally at the thought of leaving them.

Your husband does not babysit, he parents. Get that right from the start!

darceybussell · 27/01/2019 07:36

Feeding the baby might not be a problem, but I couldn't have left DS overnight at that age because he would have been impossible to get back to sleep without breastfeeding and I wouldn't have wanted to inflict that on DH, or for DS to get distressed, if there wasn't really any need.

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/01/2019 07:38

I'm more confused about why you would be bridesmaid for someone you don't really know

mindutopia · 27/01/2019 08:43

I would politely decline the invite but say you’re happy to still be her bridesmaid (if you are?). My first was ff after 10 weeks but we co-slept so I didn’t leave her overnight until she was 9/10 months (to attend a work training course, not sure I would have for a night out with friends). My littlest one is nearly a year now and bf and I’ve never left him overnight yet. No way it would be possible yet as he doesn’t take a bottle and just gets too upset at night without me. I left him for about 10 hours last month (for a work thing, during the day) and I was quite uncomfortable by the time I got home. At only 5 months, you’d be needing to stop and pump every 3-4 hours. Not easy to do if you’re out at a bar with the girls. I would give it a miss. Not worth the hassle except for maybe a lifelong best friend.

rainflowerstar · 27/01/2019 08:53

I stayed out over night quite early when all my children were born, a couple of months. I trusted my partner at the time or my parents and I would do it again.

It sounds like you don't want to go regardless of having a baby so just tell her no.

Nixen · 27/01/2019 08:54

Please don’t use the word babysitting to refer to your child’s father taking care of their own child, bullshit like that sets all women back... sorry - pet peeve!

Littleraindrop15 · 27/01/2019 09:00

Am currently due in April.. And I have already set days and nights away from the baby..does that make me cruel??

SoyDora · 27/01/2019 09:05

Well I wouldn’t agree to be bridesmaid or go on the hen do of someone I don’t know...

I was a bridesmaid for my best friend when my first was 5 months old, and went on her hen do overnight. I expressed milk and she stayed with DH, and was absolutely fine. Biggest problem was that I had to pump in the toilets of a cocktail bar as my boobs were exploding!

3boysandabump · 27/01/2019 09:16

@Littleraindrop15 absolutely not. I wouldn't have any plans set in stone though especially if it's your first baby and/or you plan to bf. You might find you can leave baby no bother but you might also find you don't want to or baby may not take a bottle etc.

NerrSnerr · 27/01/2019 09:20

I wouldn't have wanted to leave mine. I would have needed to regularly express when away to relieve my boobs and both were reluctant to take a bottle. Other people I know welcomed time away. There's no right or wrong but it all depends on the baby and how you feel at the time.

NerrSnerr · 27/01/2019 09:21

I also agree, a father doesn't babysit his own child!!

BendingSpoons · 27/01/2019 09:22

I wouldn't have done this. It would have been a massive stress for me as DD fed to sleep, refused a bottle and I found expressing very hard. You don't sound like you are that excited to go so I would say no for now. Possibly you could add on later if you wanted. Other option would be to stay with DH and baby and dip in and out of things, but obviously goes against the hen do vibe!

boraboring · 27/01/2019 09:28

A father babysitting his own child? 🤦🏽‍♀️ you mean 'parenting'?

boraboring · 27/01/2019 09:29

Also who asks someone they don't really know to be their bridesmaid? weird....

BarkerBump · 27/01/2019 10:30

When pregnant I would have told you definitely no, as I was going to breastfeed and I wouldn't want to be away overnight and what if he would only settle for me etc.

Now, having been unable to breastfeed and with a son who'll happily settle for his dad, I'd be more inclined to say yes.

You have no idea until baby is here what your situation will be like, so don't make any concrete plans

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