So debated the whole 3rd baby for the past 2yrs! Regularly change my mind, loads of reasons against- change in lifestyle harder to holiday, everything more expensive, house space, going back to the begining with sleepless nights, toddler etc can I really do it all again.
But there’s still a part of me despite all that that wants another, even 2 yrs later, after multiple times saying no more & trying to move on.
I’m not sure it’s the best for our family as a whole due to the reasons above, feels a little selfish of me. Don’t get me wrong we can manage, we both have very good jobs.
I feel like I’m fighting it every month thinking it’s the best thing for us all, there’s so many uncertainties in going ahead (potential problems, not knowing how we would handle 3, practicalities etc). Although I question if it is the right choice not to have another, this is my one chance in a few yrs that’s it.
I feel I am sacrificing for the greater good of my 2 sons and hubby, but I try to imagine what if I go ahead and it’s really hard, will I feel worse then than I do now trying to fight the urge each month?
I have an apt this week to discuss contraception although I’m not keen on any, dh dosnt particularly want me on any either (just our feelings) but I’m not ready to let him get the snip.
Dh is happy with our 2, they are 8&5 so we’re entering a nice new stage with new activities and fun opening up to us. Although everything I try that I’ve been excited for hasn’t gone on too well up to now! Tried Ice skating at Christmas, maybe too soon for the 5yr old! Was a little hard work but nice to give it a try, then bike riding- again 5yr old wants pushing along after a while! So not the family bike ride I had in mind!
Anyway I’m sure as he gets a little older these things will come.
Dh dosnt want me to resent him and just wants me to be happy so he is happy to go ahead if it’s what I want (seems quite a trend on these 3rd baby threads!) we’ve talked and talked and neither of us wants to go against the other. It’s an impossible situation as it’s not that easy to just say that’s it we’re having no more as I’m sure many of you will relate with.
Not sure what I’m expecting, just helps to get it gst it Down I guess. I don’t know if I’m making the right decision either way, will I majorly regret holding back in the future or will having another be the straw that broke the camels back. No one knows I know.
But how can you move on, I try to focus on what we can do, going on nice holidays etc, maybe I’ll be better as the summer approaches and we can get out more to keep me busy & enjoying the fun stuff we can as a family of 4. But is that the right thing to do... I think maybe it is, but it’s so hard!
How can I stop thinking about it and almost giving in almost every month!