teen dress conflict

[dad750]

Hi
I'm looking to canvas opinion on an outfit my 13 year old daughter wants me to buy her (out of xmas money I have promised her). I think its totally inappropriate for a 13 yr old girl, however my ex wife has said she thinks its ok, and that when daughter comes to wear it it would look different, and she would get lower heeled boots. Also ex has said if it comes and she doesnt like it it would be sent back. I do not find that acceptable on several fronts. I would like back up (as would happen if married) not undermining and disagreement in front of daughter, and also I do not believe it would be sent back. I know this sort of thing has happened behind my back in the past, however as I am meant to be buying it hence it has been brought to my attention. We have been divorced for 8 years, and on the whole we do an ok job of the situation.
I attach a link to the outfit, and await comments, for which I thank you in advance.

www.prettylittlething.com/white-bardot-ruched-side-jumper-dress.html

Sorry just wanted to add what I have learnt from having a 17, 14 and 12 year old is, Pick your battles. If you go in too heavy handed a laying down the law she will rebel more. Talk to her. Be open about how you feel and explain how difficult it is for you and let her talk to you and hopefully reassure you.

My 13 year old would wear this but with a pair of trainers, as pp have said it’s the boots that are the issue not the dress

It's all about context, I think it would look great on holiday, out for dinner bare legs.

Yes the boots and the night club context do sexualise it but having gone through DD's teen years clothes were not a hill I chose to die on and pretty much uncensored clothing choices for controlled environments as this club will be payed dividends later.

How about this

Ask her if she had a second favourite and get her to order both and send one back and then let her mum help her decide if the off the shoulder is too revealing or doesn't stay up.

Also she's going to a disco not really out clubbing

Actually I think it's never too early to learn that some clothes are impractical. But she'll only learn that by wearing it and realising that the off-the-shoulder look can be a faff, that the length is ok or too short, etc. If it's based on Ariana Grande then the point of the boots is that they take the place of trousers hence why the boots are so long, so they cover more of your legs.

Inappropriate for a 13 year old.