My DS will be 25 months when DS2 arrives

[scottiesheep]

Hi, just Namechanged because we haven't told anyone that we have found out the gender!

We have DS who will be 25 months when DS2 arrives. I am expecting the early days of adjustment to be tough with settling into a new routine, adjusting to a new born and its demands, dealing with jealous 2yo etc etc. Last time I REALLY struggled with the c section recovery/ infections / lack of sleep. Plus DS has severe reflux and CMPA.

Can I please have suggestions on how to make it smooth as possible? Likely to have a c section. Dh will be off work for 6 weeks.

Hell be 2. Your child will be 2.

There's always at least one knobber isn't there there's a world of difference between 2 and 1 month and 2 and 11 months.

Anyway OP I'm too tired have any advice but congratulations

Mine will be 2 (actually, a week less than two) and I'll be having a section too. I obviously don't have any advice, but I'm following anyway.

And yes, why is there always one person who decides to make a comment about something that doesn't matter and then offers no help.

20 months age gap here. Some practical things that helped were firstly, get the toddler to "help" with baby. Set up the room so they can get the baby wipes, get a clean nappy, get clothes etc. Lots and lots of praise about what a big help they are.
Secondly, keep some 1:1 time for toddler every day with you. This was incredibly difficult while breastfeeding a cluster feeding newborn who refused bottles but I really found it improved the toddlers behaviour. Even if it was only 10minutes to read a book or play with dolls in her room without baby demanding my attention. And lots of talk about how much I loved spending time with her.
Freeze a few dinners for after your partner goes back to work that can be microwaved later. And buy some quick healthy snacks for you & toddler e.g. muesli bars, bananas etc. If you like eggs boil& peel & leave in fridge to grab as needed. First few times I had both kids by myself the house was a mess, I had no time to cook & barely fed myself. It gets SO much easier though once you find your routine that works for you and, though our close gap was unplanned I couldn't be happier about it now.
Good Luck and Congratulations on your new baby.

This is a bit of a weird one but I read that you should try to make sure you aren’t always telling the toddler that you need to do this or that for the baby but also tell the baby when you need to do something for the toddler so they don’t always just hear you putting baby’s need first and not theirs. So ‘just a minute Tommy, I need to feed/change/rock baby Johnny’ and then ‘just a minute baby Johnny, Tommy needs me to get him a snack, book, cuddle’. I did this with both my oldest two when the new baby came along and I don’t really know if it helped but I liked making sure they knew that their needs were just as important to me.

Other than that, take it easy at first, especially while the newborn sleeps all day. Have lots of cuddle time with your toddler and don’t worry if they end up watching a bit more tv than you’d like, it’s all about making it through those first sleepless months.

Congratulations

We are 7 years down the line from you.
It's fine. And the boys are absolute best of friends (90% of the time!).
Have some stuff that the toddler can do near where you are feeding.
I also remember reading to DS1, while feeding DS2 - so long as DS2 was latched on, and DS1 turned the pages, I had enough arms!
We also played fetch - DS1, can you find me a red ball, a blue car etc. We also chucked the soft blocks and things out of the French doors, and he loved going to collect them and bring them back!

Congratulations.
On a practical note, I had a box of toys, books, puzzles that only came out when I was breast feeding. Because these were not everyday things, they were a novelty and kept DD1 entertained while I was feeding baby.
I am outing my age here. I also used ‘the wiggles ‘ videos to entertain while feeding.
I generally prepared dinner during a time when both were napping. Generally in the morning.
Use eldest to ‘help’ and give lots of praise.
Good luck

27 month gap here. I guess it depends on your toddlers personality. We suspected my dd would either totally ignore the baby or would be good with him. She's been excellent, we're nearly 3 months in and she loves him, loves helping out and loves entertaining him. Her little friend at nursery went home asking for a baby brother 😂.
We had a few books that she really enjoyed that we read a lot during the pregnancy (what's in your tummy mummy / there's a house inside my mummy) and I think they helped her to understand. I also took her to list of my midwife appointments.
Currently I'm away for a few days visiting a friend with the baby and my OH and toddler are visiting family - so we've tried to give her extra 1:1 time with others as practically I can't really give her that with me at the moment.
My parents came to stay to look after her when I went in for my section and we phrased it as 'nana and grandad are coming to see you' so she felt special.
She also had a couple of extra mornings at nursery in the first few weeks after my OH went back to work, she loves it there and meant that I could catch up on sleep/ give the baby some undivided attention.

Thanks very much for the advice! All really good suggestions

Ds will continue to go to nursery 3 days a week, at least for the first couple months so that should help..

Your just turned 2 dc will continue to be most of the work - the baby will just slot in. I found second time that, as the baby doesn't move, I found things much easier and realised I had made a bit of a song and dance about it first time round! I reminded myself that millions and million of people were doing this and - it helped me keep perspective. C section was much less painful and sore 2nd time for me and I was mobile much faster- it won't necessarily be a rerun of last time.

22 months between mine, I didn't find jealousy was an issue because as far as my eldest was concerned this was a baby and she was a little girl, different territories. I have no photos of the eldest holding the youngest as I did not want her to realise that was an option. Baby spent first three months in carryover on kitchen workshop so 2yo couldn't reach her unsupervised.
Also 2yo continued at nursery 2 days per week during 2nd maternity leave, kept her hand in and also gave me time alone with baby.

Oh yes...do not under any circumstances leave nearly 3 year old alone with baby in baby bouncer....still have nightmares!

Carrycot not carryover...ferocious predictive texting on these ancient Kindle Fires

Gently remind visitors to make a fuss of Ds1 and not to spend the whole visit cooing over Ds2.

We set up the travel cot more or less permanently, then we could pop Dc2 in there if we needed to and this would stop Ds1 hurting his sister by trying to pick her up to cuddle her unsupervised

Good tip about the travel cot and carrry cot and interesting that 2yo will continue to be most of the work..