Grandparents treating 2 sets grandchildren separately.......HELP

[fulltimeworkingmumof2]

So bare with me on this one......

Hubby and I been married 12 years. 2 children DD(Nearly 10) DS(8) We used to live in the same town as his parents (less than 1/4 mile away(6 years ago) , and they would never make the effort to just pop in or come and take children to the park or help with childcare or just do anything unless it was pre planned. Back then their Daughter who has 2 children Son (9) daughter (7) lived approx 300 miles away from them. They religiously visited them for the children's birthdays and Christmases. Anyway 6 years ago they moved the 300 miles to be closer to them. Then 3 years later we then moved 240 miles away from "home" but putting us closer to them. Approx 100 miles away. It's hit me this morning with DD approaching 10 that they haven't seen EITHER of my children ON their birthdays or at Christmas for 6 years!!! They very rarely visit. They don't phone or video call. They are retired and make absolutely no effort with my children yet with the others ALL the time. To the point I came off social media so I didn't keep seeing it all!!!

I love my hubby to bits but he won't stand up to them. It's as though they pick us up and choose us when it suits them! I cannot have my children put through this anymore and am at my whits end.

My DD did a thing at school just before Christmas, "what makes you feel happy and safe" she didn't even mention them yet my best friend who they call "auntie" was on there!!! What does that tell you. It breaks my heart that my children very rarely mention them now!!!

The unfairness must be frustrating/upsetting but it’s not something you can control. I think you’re very wise to avoid it all in social media so it’s not rubbed in your face.
I have to say, though, that the last things my kids would want to do on their birthdays is see grandparents. And seeing them on Christmas for many families is more of an obligation than a pleasure.
Does your DH make an effort to communicate with his parents but them not reciprocate? That would be the most hurtful thing, I think.

My children have always LOVED seeing their grandparents (both sides) on their birthdays and Christmas, but you can see the bond and even knowing them on my hubby side now is disappearing!

Yes he does but gets minimal response. They just don't seem to "have time" for him and the children

I cannot have my children put through this anymore and am at my whits end

You may be feeling awful about this, but the children are most likely unaware of it. Kids don't compare - I doubt they'd know that the GPs see the others more than them.

Talk to your DH if you think it will help, but if he doesn't want to speak to them, you'll have to let it lie.

You could have been writing about our family, sometimes it's easier to get on with your life, and accept that it will always be different