Needing some reassurance PLEASE!!!

[NiKiTaCoLlEt]

Yesterday 21:49 NiKiTaCoLlEt

Hey ladies me again.

Feeling the guilt and need some reassurance. Feeling so low about it. I’m really worried I’m not a good enough mum and I’ve already done damage to my 16 month old because of my behavior. And I don’t know if it’s just be being stupid and overthinking everything because of my anxiety.

Things that I’ve noticed I do..... on my phone ALOT in front of him when he’s playing- so means not actively playing with him. (But I do play with him also through the day)

Put tv on for 10 mins hear and there so I can have 5 minutes.
He also has 1hr tv in the morning.

I don’t know just feel like Im rubbish.

I’m so lucky as he naps for 2.5 hrs during the day, so plenty of time for me to do what I need to and have some time for myself BUT I still then go on my phone a lot and feel like I need the occasional 5 minutes to myself.

Routine.

He wakes at 6am- tv for 15minutes

Breakfast together

7am tv for 30mins

Get ready for the day (he plays in playroom while I get myself ready)

Go out at 9am for the morning (playgroups and walks)

Home for 12- lunch

Naps for 2.5hrs

Wakes- snack and we go into play room together- read books, play. But I find myself on my phone a lot whilst he plays rather than actively play with him

Daddy home at 5.30

Dinner, bath, in the night garden, story, bottle and sleep by 7.30-8

How does this sound? Am I doing enough!? Why do I find the need to be on my phone so much and use the tv to have 5mins hear and there even though I have his nap time!? It’s like I can’t even do 10 hours of awake time with him and be 100%. He’s also so well behaved and no trouble and a joy. What’s wrong with me am I a shit mum!?

The 5 minutes hear and there is because i ‘vape’ so I pop outside (I can always see him) but I feel guilty for it.

I just want to be a good mum.

Sorry for massive post I’m just so low about it all. Xxx

I wouldn’t feel bad - sounds like your doing great! I’m also on my phone a lot but to be honest it’s my only contact with adult people minus my baby!! I miss adult coversation so do sit on my phone more than I should talking to friends who I can’t get to see or people from my work...i also watch tv occasionally. Can’t entertain my 5 month old all the time! As long as she’s happy playing on her mat or what ever I’m sure it’s fine. When she was younger I wouldn’t touch the tv or my phone and I was getting more and more fed up each day. We’re allowed time to ourselves occasionally :)

Sounds like you have a bit of anxiety - I had a chat with a cbt counsellor just to vent and it actually really helped! I’m always worried I’m a rubbish mum, not doing enough, baby hates me etc etc...maybe worth it :)

If it’s causing you upset and worry then just put the phone down?

You're doing great! Screen time is ok as long is it's under two hours. 😉 according to experts. I began letting my son watch a little tv when he turned 15 months. He watches about 30 min in the morning while I get myself ready and him dressed. Then we're out all day and he gets about another 30 min of tv with dad in the night while I make the dinner. I also go on my phone ALOT. Which I feel bad about too but honestly you're doing great. A loving and caring mom is what our children need and it sounds like you are just that!