3 Children and not coping

[wssejh]

Hi, I have 3 kids, DD9, DS 6 and DD 9 months. I am finding things so difficult and stressful at the moment. The 9 year old battles with me everyday about homework and well just anything actually. She's horrid to the 6 year old but lovely with the baby. It's driving me up the wall. I've got shooting pains going through my head and terrible IBS. Me and my husband are constantly arguing lately which makes everything else so much harder to deal with.

I know I'm lucky to have 3 healthy kids and I am thankful everyday but everyday I also feel like running away or worse...

Does anyone else find this all very overwhelming and hard? Any strategies for keeping calm and keeping the peace?

First of all, good for you for reaching out, I joined mums net today for advice on loneliness post baby (4 year old), I do have friends but being an older mum my friends now have a life!

I obviously have no idea what it is like with three kids however with one strong willed DD life can be chaotic. I completely empathise with the arguing that comes with the chaos, I believe we just need to get back to basics. Try and remember why you love one another, why you had kids, why you are married, why life would never be the same without your kids (although it would be less stressful 😂😬).

I have downloaded a kids mindfulness app (meditation), I make it a game, if she does the 5-10 minutes of meditation she gets a reward. Was hard for the first few days now she loves it, I truly believe it has made her a little calmer! It also gives us a little bonding time........ x

Ah thanks for your reply. Great advice to go back to basics and think about why we're all here.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. Having kids can be really isolating and lonley and then there is the guilt that goes with that too. My advice for loneliness is to actually do something for yourself, meet an old friend (who really knows you), or just something you love doing. People say get yourself to groups etc but often I found it more lonley to be around "new" friends...no real connection except for the obvious of having children in common.

Well your reply has made me come back down from my panic, parenting doesn't come easy whatever is thrown at you
...so many amazing times, and so many hard too x

It will get better, it really will. It is bloody hard, try not to worry that it’s all going horribly wrong, it isn’t.
Do you get any time to yourself?
for you, I remember those days.

I really sympathise OP. It can be so overwhelming. I have two (toddler and baby) and the toddler is unbelievably strong willed and won’t do any of the things she’s “meant” to do (potty training etc). She also has a temper and it can be hard to deal with the tantrums especially when the baby is crying at the same time or you’re trying to get him to sleep.

And then I see something on tv or read something online about a mother who’s lost her children or who is dying or people that have lost children and I feel so guilty and fortunate 🙁

I agree about making time for you though, and the loneliness that can come from sitting at a baby group with a bunch of people you don’t know and can’t connect with. I found these some of the most lonely experiences of all. Going for a nice walk with the baby or doing an exercise class or seeing an old friend was really beneficial.