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Original poster

Please tell me your experiences of baby groups!

29 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 22/01/2019 19:40

Hi all,

Okay, so I’m on maternity leave at the moment and DS is nearly 4 months. I’m going a little crazy being at home and I’m thinking about going along to one of these groups but I don’t know where to start.

Please could you tell me your experiences and maybe what sort of thing to look for or avoid?

We tried swimming and he hated it and we are currently doing baby massage once a week (which he also isn’t a fan of, but it gets me out of the house for an hour!). I’m signed up to start baby Spanish and baby sign when he’s 6 months, but I guess I’m just looking for something to fill some time right now.

We do get out for walks, but with all of my friends either overseas or at work, I’m finding it tough as I’m pretty social when I put my mind to it!

I’m not really into spending time in coffee shops etc because DS isn’t at all passive and I’d probably spend the whole time walking around with him and worrying about the nuisance he was causing to others , so I thought a group would be a better idea because if he decides to be non compliant, there’ll be others in the same situation!

Thanks in advance.

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Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 22/01/2019 19:48

Oh and the other thing is that I’m feeling quite daunted at the thought of going to one of these things, so any tips on getting over this would also be much appreciated!

OP posts:

CJ1990 · 22/01/2019 20:23

I thoughtd id hate them but they’ve saved my sanity to be honest! So much so I now go to at least one thing a day to get out of the house...my daughter is nearly 5 months and I find her so much easier to deal with when out. You get the odd smug mum who’s little one is the most perfect of perfect and who aparently has it all together, but for the one that’s like that, there’s a load that are lovely. I find most are in the same shoes! I find it nice to get out, baby is distracted for an hour or so. Adult conversation. Win win :) oh and every baby has a melt down at least once! And no one minds!

SnuggyBuggy · 22/01/2019 20:26

I've found them pretty good. I like chatting with other parents and I now have a group who I talk to on social media.

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bourbonbiccy · 22/01/2019 20:27

I would recommend trying baby groups ( i never in a million years thought them words would be leaving my mouth).

I visit one twice a week now. To start with, it was just a case of going, having no expectations and just letting my DS experience the sensory toys and having a watch what was happening. But now I have a nice couple of mums that I have a chat to while our children play. MY DS moved to the toddler group in the same centre and shortly after the others came up one by one as they progressed.

I am by no means one of the parents who wants to be meeting up for coffee etc, but it's nice to have a chat while I'm there and I do bump into them at other activities.

I think if you just go with an open mind and no expectations you will have an "OK" experience which hopefully will lead to a nice time for an hour or so. I try to avoid the mums who start with interrogating you on your child's capabilities as if it's a competition, nightmare IME but other than that , embrace this new world you are becoming a part of 😉😉😉😉

Good luck, it's not as daunting as you imagine ........honestly

CJ1990 · 22/01/2019 20:27

I was also worried as i never have time to get ready so I look a mess, worried baby would melt down etc. I’d just go in with an open mind and just enjoy the company!!

Patienceisvirtuous · 22/01/2019 20:28

We really loved Baby Sensory. It’s nationwide so should have a group near you? X

UncleBensWife · 22/01/2019 20:29

Check out your local children’s centre as often they have great groups and sometimes groups catered for young babies too. Ours does baby massage, baby music etc and all free.

SoyDora · 22/01/2019 20:33

Saved my sanity with my first baby too. I didn’t know many people in the area (moved to a new area in the UK from abroad when I was pregnant) and was desperate for adult conversation. Didn’t encounter any ‘smug mummies’ or people who only wanted to talk about baby shit/reflux/sleeo issues etc.
I have 3 DC now (5, 3 and newborn) and have regular groups we go to each week. There’s always someone to hold the baby while I do a craft with the 3 year old, or to watch the toddler while I change a nappy etc).

c24680 · 22/01/2019 20:34

I don't know anyone in my local area which I found difficult when we had a baby.

After 8 weeks at home we went to some baby groups and they have been a life saver, I've made a handful of mummy friends who I see twice a week. Not been to a group that's been cliquey yet!

whitehousemum · 22/01/2019 20:35

Baby groups saved my sanity! I moved to a different country in the UK when I was 7 months pregnant, didn't know anybody, I've done pregnancy yoga, baby massage, baby yoga, rhythm and rhyme, and sing and sign and now see loads of people socially as well as at the groups! Couldn't recommend them more - I think they work well because the focus isn't socialising, that's juts a by-product, so it doesn't feel as pressured.

Magpiefeather · 22/01/2019 20:38

Saved my sanity too!

Check out your local library, most do a “bounce and rhyme” class with songs and instruments and stories - it’s free and lovely.

Our local toddler group is great, don’t be put off that yours is a baby not a toddler, they usually have a baby area and if not at least you can chat to other mums and have a cuppa! Have a look or ask Health Visitor for a list of local ones.

GrumpySausage · 22/01/2019 20:43

I was initially a bit wary to go to any as I was worried they might be a bit cliquey. But I did a baby massage class at my local Surestart and that gave me the confidence to go to a under 18 months class. I'm so glad I did as I was made to feel welcome and I made two great friends there. My DS is now nearly 4 and I'm still firm friends with them and we meet most weeks.

I've since gone on to have a DD and I haven't been able to do as many classes as I struggle to find one that I can take both to but I'm pleased I went the first time around and made good friends.

Amazonian27 · 22/01/2019 20:47

Ask your health visitor if any first time mum
Groups in your area. That was a godsend to me with DS as an older mum.
With a couple of good friends I met there we explored some other playgroups and met at each other’s houses when they become toddlers which was lovely.

Lettherebelight · 22/01/2019 22:46

I think it's worth trying a few as different people like different things. At baby age the best for me was probably the free local library one and church groups were calm and welcoming. I also really liked swimming. I didn't like Baby Sensory or Monkey Music as found the instructors too fake but I know other people have lived them.

IsItThatTimeAgain · 22/01/2019 23:55

There's a baby group app called Hoop and a Mum meetup app called Mush. I've found both really helpful for getting out and meeting others.

TillyTheTiger · 23/01/2019 00:06

Definitely worth trying, I did loads and made it my mission to speak to at least one other parent per session, as I'm quite shy/introverted and I knew I'd not make friends otherwise. DS enjoyed baby massage, baby sensory and a music group at that sort of age. By about 10 months he loved swimming and baby sign, but even if he hadn't seemed bothered, selfishly it was less about his enjoyment and more about my sanity for me. Try a few and see what works best for you!

ThatsExactlyRight · 23/01/2019 00:12

Give your Health Visiting team a call and they will be able to advise you of the local groups they/their community nursery nurses/early years workers run. They're usually all free.

We have so much on, parents love it because it gets them out and about and it's good for babies/children too. Most teams run a universal stay and play! X

April2020mom · 23/01/2019 20:22

When my kids were infants I signed up for a mom and baby swimming lesson. I loved it. We are currently participating in toddler swimming lessons.
Definitely try a few different ones out and see what happens.
My local library has a story time. On Sundays I take my whole family to church. My local church runs various activities for families including babies and children.
I’ve made a lot of friends through such activities. It’s fun! See what is available in your area.

Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 24/01/2019 15:25

Thanks so much for the advice, everyone! That’s really helpful.

Okay, I’ll give my health visitor a call and will check out the local churches/community centres etc too. Sadly our local library has just recently closed, but I drive so sure I’ll find something.

Actually hearing people say that it made a difference in terms of adult conversation makes me think it’d be useful for me to give a couple of groups a try.

Nothing prepares you for how isolating it sometimes is to be stuck in the house, does it?!

OP posts:

Soopertooter · 25/01/2019 11:18

I have made some lovely friends at baby groups. Everyone there is or has been in the same boat so try not to feel nervous. Download the Hoop app to find local groups, often held in church halls, libraries and children's centres. Also local fb groups can give good advice on groups

Tobebythesea · 25/01/2019 17:23

God, I did so many as I hated being in the house. Monkey music, baby massage, Jo jingles, Boppin Bunnies, Hartbeeps, Baby Sensory, swimming classes (not all at the same time). They saved my sanity!

SweetheartNeckline · 25/01/2019 20:57

If you're nervous about finding someone to talk to try one of the more activity based ones like Jo Jingles, Tiny Talk, Baby College or Baby Sensory. Several do different timed classes for different age ranges which can be nice to narrow down to a few people going through the same thing.

Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 30/01/2019 13:42

Thanks again for the replies everyone.

I’ve just got the Hoop app, so will have a look and see what’s on. Currently sitting at home, smelling faintly of sick with a tracksuit on drinking 3rd cup of coffee with mother in law - something definitely has to change! 😂

Tobebythesea I’ve seen Hartbeeps advertised locally - looks good. What sort of age did you start doing that with your DC?

OP posts:

MaMisled · 30/01/2019 13:47

I remember it felt like being the new girl at school at first but two groups I went to twice a week, saved my life! I made loads of new friends, 4 of whom are my closest friends 20 years on. Do it!

Xuli · 30/01/2019 13:52

Definitely try them. They all have different vibes so it is worth trying a few, don't get put off if you don't like the first one.

I found that the first few times you go you end up having quite boring, generic conversations about the baby, but it's almost like you have to go through that for a few weeks until you start becoming more friendly with someone and the conversation moves on to more interesting things!

And remember, there is probably another mum there who is worried about how to start making conversation too, so sometimes take a deep breath and go in and start the conversation yourself. "What's her name" and "I love that top" might not be amazing conversation starters but they are better than nothing!

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