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Feeling like worst parent ever right now... just not coping well with my kids ... rant alert

21 replies

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 15:41

dd 5.5 and ds 2.9. just totally flipped with the kids ...

kids haven't been listening to a thing we've said all morning, you know the kind where they push it just as far as the can and then stop befor punishment ensues... hence dh having one of those days ... which puts me on edge.

also why oh why did I buy that bl**dy swing? No room for two so kids naturally have to take turns. DD was sort of good in taking turns, ds of course not and when I tried to hold him back to explain (then still sort of calmly) that he has to wait his turn he turned around and hit me, which resulted in me 'kneejerking' and slapping the offending hand a bit too hard. Queue screaming toddler, me trying to keep him a bit quieter because dh in bed trying to catch up on sleep. This whole back and forth carries on for 20 mins at which point I decide... well if you can't share you're not playing and put the swing away. Queue dd sobbing because she's been playing nicely. I did apologise to her and explained that I am aware that she's also being punished but that I think it best to remove the reason for fighting. She keeps having a tantrum though and I get a bit loud which left her cowering on her trampolene saying I scared her to which I so maturely (not) replied : then do as your told, sit down on the sofa and be quiet. I already had put ds on the sofa and NO tv and told them not a peep for 5 minutes.

Then I went into the kitchen and did some more baking, which I won't be able to eat because I'm on diet, but thought it was better to do that then keep giving a good rendition of screaming demented banshee.

Then I let dd chose her programme as she'd been the one 'wronged' but next thing I know ds tries to look what she's doing (she was practicing writing on the side) and she bites his hand! in plain sight of me and then saying she didn't do it! Made her apologise and kiss his hand better and now they're sitting on the sofa snuggled up together.

Tell me I'm normal please and not a total failure as a mother! Because I feel like a complete waste of space as a parent with the amount of loud voicing and odd slapping I'm doing (never believed in slapped bottoms and hands but I seem to develop a trend towards it because nothing else seems to work)...

Rant over now thanks for reading

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Nbg · 01/07/2007 15:44

Your not a failure and your not a waste of space.

Just a mum whose been pushed to the edge like the majority of us

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 15:46

thanks nbg, probably doesn't help that I've stopped my Ad's a while back, now am stopping smoking and am starting a new job on tuesday... any suggestions how I can make my kids listen to me without turning draconian?

OP posts:
JetPeanut · 01/07/2007 15:47

You sound like you're doing pretty well to me. All that going on... and you are baking? Mother of the year award, surely? Seriously - we ALL have days like this (as I'm sure you know). Nobody's perfect, but you sound much better than most IMO.

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FlamingTomatoes · 01/07/2007 15:50

eat some cake

Nbg · 01/07/2007 15:50

Oh bless you. Thats alot going on! Especially with the AD's. Not easy stopping them I know.

Maybe when dd is watching her programmes, take ds away from it and set him up with a different activity to do. Something that will keep him active.
I always find ripping up magazines and sticking on paper is a good one.
If he's occupied then your dd can watch her programme in peace and she'll probably calm down in the process.

Good luck with the new job

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 15:53

JetPeanut I didn't sound 'normal' to me LOL and mother of the year? surely not!

FlamingT those are eclairs not cake

NBG, taking ds away from tv for different activity... generally a great idea but he's a tv junky and unless I get down on all four and play horsey he's not interested LOL.

Thankfully both now sitting on sofa stuffing their faces with cake (baked with wholemeal flower ) and sipping milk.

OP posts:
Nbg · 01/07/2007 15:56

Ahhhh well done them and well done you

Keep the cake rounds coming, lol!

Do you have tv in another room you could set him up with?

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 15:58

no second tv here... DD is saving up for her own so that should take a while LOL

OP posts:
earlgrey · 01/07/2007 16:00

Nbg, as you probably know I had/have a problem with drinking.

Now I met someone at an AA meeting who came round and was mortified to find my mum there. He just came to help.

But what he did say, is the fact that I'm only doing it because there's an underlying problem - either with my children, my H, or my isolation. And I thought how true that was.

Not sure what to do about it yet, but at least it came from someone who's sorted themselves out. XX

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 16:26

earlgrey I think you ended up on the wrong thread here

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earlgrey · 01/07/2007 16:43

Why, MrsBD? I think, perhaps wrongly, it's all mixed up.

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 17:10

ah well might be I'm just confused

OP posts:
sfxmum · 01/07/2007 17:16

hi mrsD pretty sure you are not rubbishand you are
very much missed by west london crowd best of luck with new job

MrsBigD · 01/07/2007 17:17

thanks sfx so I'm missed am I? Oh that's nice to know

What's that about Nanou? I've emailed her but no response so far

OP posts:
sfxmum · 01/07/2007 17:23

not sure but she is leaving soon to go live in Switzerland i think

but you are missed anyway, terribly chaotic meet ups with no name tags

but anyway is it worth going back on the AD as you start new job? might afford you breathing space.

Nbg · 01/07/2007 17:27

earlgrey, you've confused me.

eleusis · 01/07/2007 17:34

I think I would have reacted in a similar fashion but would not have felt guilty or apologised for putting the swing away.

Oh, new job.... so the jub hunt has come to an end. That will be nice (assuming you like the job).

Kewcumber · 01/07/2007 20:06

Hi MrsBigD - lordy I've been having one of those weeks (last week) much sympathy. And just to confirm - yup absolutely normal...

Paddlechick666 · 01/07/2007 21:16

MrsB, you can't be the worst parent because I am!!

big hugs mate, it's the toughest job for the least renumeration and the least gratitude.

MrsBigD · 02/07/2007 13:09

Hi eleusius... yeah but you're much tougher than me

Paddle, you're not the worst parent... I know the cr*p you've been through!

Kewcumber, thanks for telling me I'm normal

Today's a bit better, though ds mostly annoyed I've run out of Pocoyo episodes... . And had a piece of the cake I baked... yummie

OP posts:
2Cute · 02/07/2007 21:32

Hey Mrs!!

I really don't think you could be a bad parent even if you tried! You are only human and we all have days like this so no beating yourself up m'dear.

Congrats on the new job btw and hope it goes well

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