I'm living with a wonderful widowed man who has a grown up son aged 25. The man has moved into my house with me and the son still lives in the family house in the same town. The son refuses to work even though he is more than capable. He drinks, smokes and takes soft drugs during the day whilst lying in bed. Various friends and girlfriends stay over regularly. Since my man moved out, the son has wrecked the house. Doors are smashed, rubbish is piled up, there is even pools of sick left uncleaned. I cannot begin to describe the filth. My partner is distraught and doesn't know what to do. He pays the mortgage on the house, all the bills and provides his son with a car, a phone and money to buy food. The son gets cash from various family members who think they are helping. I am horrified by the situation whilst I also appreciate how difficult it is for his immediate family. I don't want to come across as the wicked step mother here but if he was mine, some tough love would have thrown him out. He won' t end up on the street, he has many friends and relatives. He is also entitled to benefits which he refuses to collect at the moment. This situation is effecting my relationship. Financially, the burden is huge and we cannot plan for our future until this is sorted out. I have also lost some respect for my partner who will not do anything about this and is being manipulated by his son who knows dad won't kick him out and just tells dad to f* off when he brings up the subject. I would love to hear how people have dealt with similar situations.