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Help me parent my daughter correctly!!

3 replies

Flossie44 · 21/01/2019 17:23

So....I have 3 dc. Eldest is 21 ds and is away at uni. Middle is 12, nearly 13yr old dd. And I have dd who’s 10 top.

12yr old dd1 is being really difficult. Now I know teens are hideous!! I’ve been through it with ds. It’s tough. I don’t expect anything different with my girls. But I felt I got it wrong with my son. We were friends and he took the piss quite a lot in my opinion. Then I couldn’t get the respect back.
I want to do things differently this time. We’ve always been pretty close and I really boost her and speak highly of her to others, beit in front of dd or when she’s not there. Either way, it’s often fed back.

If I tell her off for something, she’s really bitchy back. I can try it sternly or softly, or even friendly, and still I get a bitchy reply. Today I was talking to her really nicely about random stuff and she rolled her eyes as if she was bored. I asked her not to do that as it was rude. I said I’d been talking nicely to her, so it would be kind if she reacted nicely back to me. Her answer was ‘well you’re fake and smug when you’re like this!’Confused

I can’t bloody win!!

Anyone with a magic trick to getting this right??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FTMF30 · 21/01/2019 17:28

I wouldn't let her answer back in that manner. I'd give her fair warning and if she continued then I'd punish her. Do you give her pocket money? If so, withhold it and do so until she learns some respect. Or ground her.

I'm no authoritarian, but the softly softly, pally approach with teens, in my opinion,is detrimental. She'll probably kick up a fuss as she won't be used to your firmness, but stand your ground or she'llbe walking all over you until adulthood.

Flossie44 · 21/01/2019 17:37

Thanks so much.
I have a problem disciplining her while
Dh around as he says I’m causing an argument!!!!!!!! Makes me fuming!! He says to leave it and I’m stoking her by arguing back with her. However, I see me as an adult, and her as a child....and I’m trying to discipline her!!
I remove her phone if she’s very rude. I give her 3 chances then it’s gone!! But omg..she’s vile when we get to that stage!!

OP posts:
Pinkiii · 21/01/2019 18:16

I think firm is the way to go.

My mum was very firm and strict and i hated her for it when i was young but now i appreciate it as i learnt manners and respect and how to speak to people properly.

Your daughter might not appreciate it now but she will, friendly and polite i dont think cuts it in teenage years imo.

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