16 year old won't go to college, depressed, help

[567hhh]

Hi there,

I am really struggling at the moment with my teenage daughter and would really appreciate any advice anyone can give. She has been suffering with depression over the last couple of years, and has gone so far to put herself in hospital by trying to end her own life (took an overdose, but then alerted me in time so we could get to the hospital).

She has tried various different types of therapy, we've talked to cahms, the GP, her school etc. but nothing is seeming to work. She is currently on anti-depressants, but sees no point in anything. She is now refusing to go to college and has been self-harming very badly all over her arms, all the doctors are at a loss what to do with her apart from watch her 24/7 which is impossible when you have a full time job and are the only dependent for her.

I am really at a loss for what to do as I cannot continue not going into work to stay at home with her and I also need her to know that this cannot continue her staying at home without education / a job. She still sees her friends when she wants too, although this has reduced recently. I have threatened that she will have to leave the house if she does not go to college, but at this moment it is too much of a risk to kick her out as I think she would do something.

Please if anyone has any advice for this situation i'd be very grateful, I really have no idea how to deal with this anymore

Thank you

If she won’t go to college then she has to get a job and contribute. If she’s a risk to herself and drs are saying she needs round the clock monitoring and care, why isn’t she in a psychiatric unit?

This must be incredibly hard for all of you.

I haven't got any experience of self harm, but I've seen this book recommended in the Teenage Section.

It might be worth asking MNHQ to move your thread over to there btw, you should get a few more replies

Thank you for both of your replies.

I agree she needs to get a job or do something to contribute and I have told her she has until Friday but I think it could go two ways of her doing something terrible, or getting a job/going to college.

I also agree she should be in a psych unit if they are asking us to do that but there is 23 beds that cover the whole of the area I live in.

Thanks for the book recommendation too, It looks very helpful! I will ask if they can move the thread.

She needs specialist support. I can only suggest try to encourage her to achieve small things each day, even if it's just sorting out a drawer in her room. But I may be talking bollocks. Can you ask her to help you with something around the house, even if she just sits there & says nothing, you're trying to get her out of her own circular thoughts.

She refuses to do anything - move, help me, even do nice things to her room. She has just been sitting on her laptop now for the last couple of days, I am at a complete loss.

Would she go to the GP with you, or on her own again tomorrow?

Having experience of a trenager with mental health problems I don’t think threatening her with having to leave is a good thing. She probably can’t cope with working either.
She definitely needs help. As somebody who is nearly an adult you can’t make them do anything. My son used to sit in his room all the time and spend hours at night on his computer. He stopped going to college or doing anything in the house. All you can do is be there for her. I would definitely take her back to the GP. Unfortunately mental health services for young people are not good.

My 16 year old boy has the same feelings as your daughter. He is Autistic and say's college is the same as school and refuses to do Maths and English anymore. He won't go back to college. He has really had enough and I don't know what to do next. Any ideas? Or what happens if he doesn't go back?