Help! My 6 year old daughter is very distressed about her body.

[Doublesidedselleotape]

I have 2 daughters - aged 8 and 6. My 6 year old told me 2 weeks ago - amidst much anxiety, tears and only after I’d sworn to secrecy - that she was really upset about the shape of her bum. She said she saw it i a mirror recently and since then will only wear dresses to cover it up. She also said she didn’t like the top of her legs when she sits down because they go squishy. I hoped this was a passing thing, but then this evening she got very distressed about going to a friends party because it was a swimming party and she’d have to wear a swimsuit.

Now both my daughters are very slim. They have no bums. My husband and I are very naked at home. We both have bums and bits that wobble and are perfectly happy in our own skins. We never talk about weight or body shapes - bodies are only spoken about as wonderful things. I am a good (tolerant 😁) feminist. When I asked her about it she said None of her friends had talked about body shape and bums, she hasn’t seen this on tv (she doesn’t watch much) and she hasn’t read about it. In her words ‘it’s a thought that’s come from my own mind’. Where has this come from?! I’ve spoken discreetly with her good friends parents and they had not heard anything similar at home. Her 8 year old sister is quite into preeening and hair flicking, but has never said anything about body shapes.

Help! I can’t bear this for her. Has anyone else experienced this with kids so young. I’m heartbroken and furious.

I have no advice OP but am interested as currently have a baby DD and this worries me for the future!

I think it’s the media as we’re bombarded with unrealistic images of woman all the time. Do you talk to your DD about this?

Have you tried talking to her about how some parts of the body are supposed to be squishy? It's normal for legs to do that! If she didn't have squish in her legs then she'd probably be underweight and unhealthy, a difficult concept for a 6 year old to grasp I would have thought.

If swimming is an issue you could take her beforehand and, discreetly, talk about body shapes when you are there. Pointing out that there are lots of different types around and they are all there to have fun and be healthy.

does she have any barbie dolls or similar fashion dolls, Disney princess toys etc? has she formed an idea of the shape her body should be from something unrealistic like that? even if she doesn't she may have played with them at school/wraparound care/a friend's house.

I have spoken to my daughters about body shapes in the media but not the importance of squashy bits, so will do that, thanks.

Barbies are nowhere in sight at home and we often talk about how bodies are distorted in animations, how female animals have eyelashes and males don’t and how silly it is. I don’t think she’s made the connection between these representations and her own body.

Makes me furious that this is the society our children are growing up in. My query is really - is this now ‘normal’ for a 6 year old, or the sign of something underlying that is more worrying.

I have a 6 year old daughter too, and this is probably my biggest fear. I feel your dismay, and I sincerely hope it amounts to nothing. My girl did recently have a moment on two separate occasions where she became self conscious in front of one of her younger sister's. Also, I've made it my mission not to talk about weight etc at all. I might be inadvertently storing up problems down the line, but although it's a a preoccupation for a lot of adults, it so should not be for young children.

I akso have a 6 year old daughter. She says she has a chubby face and won't have her hair up because of this. Its so hard.

I agree with talking about the importance of our squishy bits. You need a soft bum to sit on, other wise it would be painful!
Maybe also that strong muscles are soft when not being used (your buttocks are muscles) so to have nice strong legs, so you can run around, when you sit down your legs muscles are soft.

If it was me I think I would see my GP- sounds awful op and sounds very young. Don't know what else to suggest- perhaps your GP will palm you off- I dont know

I have a six year-old DS and be told me the other day he doesn't think his face looks nice. He is happy with his hair, apparently, but his face is horrible. I have no idea where it's come from and it breaks my heart. I have always had a very low self-image but have done my utmost not to project it onto him. It would seem I have failed. 🙁

I too would tell her that girls are meant to be squishy. I would also talk about how bodies being strong and healthy.