Will they contact social services for a missed appointment?

[Tisfortired]

Hi everybody, about 2 years ago, we had SS involvement when my DS (then 3) made a comment about hitting at nursery. The nursery referred us to SS and although it was a very stressful, horrible time they quickly closed the file and we got a report to say they are satisfied everything is fine.

Myself and my partner recently raised concerns about DS' hearing - he has to have volume very loud on telly, seems to really struggle to hear us etc so went took him to the GP who referred us to our local audiology clinic.

We got a letter last week to say, we have an appointment to call up and make an appointment basically. So on the 16th Jan we were to call the clinic and make the appointment. We both totally forgot. (It's not an excuse but we both work full time, and all have very busy lives with one thing and another as I'm sure most do. It's not like me to forget something like this.)

I realised yesterday (Friday) and texted DP that we HAVE to ring on Monday to make the appointment. Well today we got a letter to say as I have failed to make contact they have taken DS off the waiting list and assume we don't need it. They have CC'd the letter to the HV (no idea who they are - we had one HV visit when DS was born and his 2 year check, have had no other contact from them at all.)

I am now going out of my mind with worry that the HV will refer this to SS. Does anybody have similar experience with this? As soon as I got the letter his morning I rang the clinic to make an appointment but there was no answer so I left a message saying we can be available any time for the appointment.

I'm sorry if this is a bit rambled but I am so worried. The SS incident a couple of years ago was honestly the worst week of my life and I still live in fear about hearing from them, even though we have nothing to hide. DS is loved and healthy and happy.

I seriously doubt they will contact SS
They may have CCd the HV in on the assumption that she would know if your address had changed (as they are informed)

I don't think you need to worry about SS at all. Just try and organise a new referral or appointment and if they do ring them you can tell them the issue is resolved.

Missing one appointment isn't a safeguarding concern. The HV gets a copy of the letter because your son will need to be referred again. I understand why you would be worried but rationally even if SS did come out there would be nothing to find.

People miss appointments for all sorts of reasons, illness, letters going astray, forgetting. SS would be overwhelmed!

I missed a paediatrician appointment once because they had our address slightly wrong. We just rearranged when it became apparent. SS once came to us for similar reasons to you.

It's not a big deal.

That will not be enough to trigger a safeguarding referral. You need lots of missed appointments for it to be classed as a concern. I would ring on again Monday anyway and ask their advice. In my service we have a 1 week grace period where we will still offer an appointment. If that doesn't work, ask them how you can re-refer and do that (might be going to GP or HV to get them to refer).

Thank you both for replying, that's really reassuring. If we hadn't had the incident we had with them I wouldn't think twice about it - but I feel like we have a 'known to SS' mark on us now and this is something that they would pick up.

Like you say even if worse case scenario they did call round there would be nothing to find - just a busy nuclear family who needs to invest in a wall calendar.

I still feel quite anxious about it but there is nothing I can do, beyond call to rearrange the appointment which I have done.

Also I have a job where I receive these letters (not HV). We get them quite regularly.

My DC is seen regularly by audiology and every letter is CC to the HV, who we have not seen since they were a baby (as in the "normal" appointments), I think it is just standard to send a copy to the GP, HV if under 5, school nurse if over 5, and the parents.

Missing appointments is annoying but not a safe guarding risk they would understand that we are only human and these things happen now and again I would just ring the GP and explain and they should refer you again.

@BendingSpoons thank you so much for your reply. It's really reassuring. We never miss appointments - even in this case we didn't miss an appointment, just an appointment to make the appointment!

We actually have my best friend staying with us through the week at the moment while her house is being renovated, who ironically is a social worker so I will pick her brains on Monday.

I have had families where we have referred to social services for neglect around not engaging with services etc. You need lots of evidence for them to take the case on. Fingers crossed you get it all sorted out on Monday, or your friend can reassure you.

@bridezilla1 that's interesting to know - I guess I'm just concerned the HV will cross reference this letter with our previous SS involvement and raise a concern. I hope not.

As Bridezilla said, I think they send all the letters routinely to the HV. If I refer a child to audiology I receive a copy of every letter.