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Child being told by a class friend ‘my mum says I can’t play with you because you lie’

6 replies

Blou2 · 19/01/2019 00:12

My six year old is in year 1 and came home from school today and said one of his friends at school told him this. I’m gutted. It’s not the first time that a friend in their wider friendship group has said this to him. The last time was in reception last year when a different child apparently told him ‘my mum doesn’t like you and says I shouldn’t play with you.’
Both of the mums in question rarely go beyond small talk with me and are a bit cliquey, even if the friendship circle of their kids seems to extend wider than their own.
Last year I raised it with my child’s teacher who said she hadn’t picked up on anything in class or at play time and certainly hadn’t heard anything from the parent in question. We’re now in a new year with the same issue from another parent, albeit one who is good friends with the parent of the child who said similar last year.
What do I do? I’m assuming my child is telling the truth, not exaggerating, not misunderstanding.
If it we’re my child saying similar to to another if i hadn’t said it I would want to know. Do I speak to the parent and if so how? Don’t want to accuse or row? Or do I speak to the (new) teacher? Or sit tight and see if anything else happens? Or put it down to one of those things? But true or not my child is angry and upset and I also don’t want others kids hearing this about my child.
WWYD?

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Blou2 · 19/01/2019 00:15

My child assured me that they don’t lie and I believe them - beyond them claiming there are monsters under the bed that are stopping them from sleeping, or general child exaggerations, etc.

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LL83 · 19/01/2019 00:22

I witnessed a neighbour child in yr 3 tell her friend "I am not allowed to play with you, as we argue"

I know the mum, and the child who loves a drama I am sure the mum may have said "If you can't get along don't play together" but sounded much worse in the playground.

Could be very different in you case but just saying in case it could be a similar misunderstanding.

LL83 · 19/01/2019 00:25

Is your child now upset to go to school or struggling for people to play with? If so speak to teacher. If not tell him to play with better friends.

I tell my child not to exclude anyone but distance herself from people who are not kind.

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Blou2 · 19/01/2019 10:10

They have a wide circle of friends - seems to play with so not isolated. I just feel uncomfortable with my child being told this by the other child and about other children overhearing it and going with it iyswim? I know at this age kids can fall out and make up again almost daily but my child is pretty consistent as far as friends go so that doesn’t seem to happen so much. If it was just the kids falling out I would be less bothered unless there was a pattern of ganging up on my child. It’s the references to things the parents have apparently said that I’m more bothered about

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WhenTheDragonsCame · 19/01/2019 11:09

I was told by a neighbour that she overheard DD1 tell her friend she wasn't allowed to play at her house as it was always really messy. I definitely didn't say that as I had never even been in their house and I can be particularly messy myself.

Could this be coming from the children and not the parents?

ErictheGuineaPig · 19/01/2019 11:13

Yeah it could be a throw away comment by the parent - the child relaying some daft argument and the mum saying 'well play with someone else then'. I've certainly said that to my kids. It could totally be exaggerated by the kid then to get a reaction

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