7year old play dates

[Matilda987]

My dd is 7, year 2. She has had one play date invite since the beginning of the year. I have been trying to arrange play dates but apart from one parent no one accepts my invites but I see other kids being collected after school for play dates. I have tried to fit in with parents but I don’t think I’m any good at it and think this is why no one wants her around their child. Its sad because she talks really fondly about the other girls and asks for them to come over but the parents keep sidestepping my invites. I’m concerned that this may impact my child as she gets older, there are only 13 girls across 2 classes in her year. She is happy enough in school and is very good friends with a boy in her class, she plays with other friends but I’m worried that stronger bonds are being formed by other girls through play dates and she will be an easy target for bullies (there are two alpha type girls in the class who I have seen bullying other girls including mine). Has anyone been in this situation and can pass on any advice, should I change schools for year 3 or leave it and hope for the best. She is an only child with no cousins so I worry about her socialisation. Thanks.

Speaking as an only child, I would imagine your DD has become skilled in the art of socialization. Those with siblings aren't always as adept at this age. I think friendships are still pretty transient at this age, and although cliques are just starting to form, plenty of children are still hopping around from group to group.

I understand why you are concerned, I had similar thoughts when I realised that a lot of my DD's peers were going to a different Rainbows club, on a different day. I asked my DD if she would like to swap, but she said she preferred the idea of a separate group of friends. My theory is that when they get on each other's nerves they'll seek my DD out as a breath of fresh air.

I was more on the ball last academic year with play dates but there is still a fairly steady trickle (both ways).

How do you go about actually setting up a play date? It might be something as simple as this needs fine tuning.

at this age DD was almost sorting out her playdates herself, in that she would come rushing out with a pal, both of them yelling about wanting a playdate, so I would go and sort something out with the other parent.

So my relationship with the other parent wasn't the point, IYSWIM?

I understand your concern, DD is also an only child and so her relationships with her friends feel perhaps more important (to me) that they might otherwise.

Maybe ask your DD to ask one of her friends directly for a playdate and then see what transpires?

Thanks Benny and River, really appreciate your thougts.
We have a WhatsApp group so I either message directly on there or try and catch parents at pick up, which is hit and miss because of my work patterns/ after school clubs for dd. I usually just say dd would love to have their child over for a play date, she’s been talking about what they do at school together.
I have asked dd to ask her friends to ask their mums too, but it hasn’t worked.
Maybe I just need to be a lot more thick skinned and keep plugging away, I’m sure we all go through worrying about our children’s friendships at some stage.