Kid sister criticising my parenting ?!

[MamatoJS]

Feeling so defeated at the moment. I’m a single mum of two under two, their father left me for a work colleague so I ended up moving back in with parents which is very embarrassing for a start. The problem is that my younger sister (just turned 20 and also living at home) is making comments all the time . For example she’ll say to my 15 month old son “ aww doesn’t mummy look after you?” And she constantly comes in from her job and says “haven’t you moved out yet” I definitely do look after my children and she’s always been mean towards me for no real reason since around 13 years old so I think she’s doing it to aggravate me. Another thing she does is constantly whine to my mum that I get lots of attention and help and it’s “not really fair” . Just today I was trying to tidy my sons toys so that the living room isn’t a mess and she decided to pull toys out as I was tidying them and encouraged my son to play with each one . I asked why she was doing that and she said “because it’s funny” I’ve tried reasoning with her but it’s like she’s got a vendetta for no reason and there’s no getting through. She complains that my children wake her up when they cry at night but my daughter is a newborn and this is unavoidable. I’ve tried talking to my mum about this but she can never see any wrong in my sister and I think is almost afraid of confronting her whenever she does something unpleasant she always lets it slide . Any advice? It’s so depressing living at mums with this going on :(

She sounds massively immature, like she's upset she's not the baby anymore because there's an actual baby. Can you speak to your mum again? Also at 20 she could easily move out if she doesn't like it!

She sounds petty!!! I would do my level best to piss her off lol perhaps the haven't you moved out yet?? Taste of her own medicine.

@littleraindrop15 It sounds tempting however any sort of stooping to her level in any way only makes her ten times worse :s

@wallsbangers She is very immature and gets jealous very easily so I think this is a lot of the reason :(

At 20 she should have left home already. I'd try harder to annoy her as much as possible. Any time she makes a comment, you could say something like, "if you don't like it, fuck off", or, "you're welcome to move out any time you know". There's obviously no gain to be had in treating her with respect like an adult when she is about as mature as a 14 year old.

She clearly has no idea of the upheaval you've been through and the strength you've had to get through it! Well done. Have you tried sitting her down and saying just how hurtful she is, or writing her a letter if that's easier? Having a row might not work as she seems quite argumentative. One day when she becomes a mother she will regret her behaviour. Would you ever ask her to babysit your eldest for a few hours while you take little one out? That might give her a tiny taste of things. In my opinion your mum needs to step up and stamp out her pettiness too. The toy thing is unacceptable. Good luck

It does sound like she’s immature and has issues and is resenting you moving home. She probably has no idea about what you are going through because of this. You need to sit down with her and you mum and try and talk through how you are all feeling. If your mum always treats her as a baby then nothing will change. To her you are an unwanted disruption in her life. To you she is spoiled and selfish. This is up to mum to sort out

@CkFa Thank you. She has offered to take him to a soft play once with her boyfriend but when it actually came to it and I’d made plans she backed out after apparently realising that she’d have to be changing dirty nappies / would have to work a car seat etc . (This is the same person who plans to have two kids of her own)

With all due respect she didn’t have any children so she isn’t obligated to take your kids. Changing your own kids diapers is totally different to dealing with someone else’s dirty diapers

@fabaunt I never asked her- she and her boyfriend had been asking me for weeks to let them take him and when I finally agreed and made plans- then she decides she doesn’t want to. In all due respect I do realise this :)

Wow she seems really really immature. If that were me I'd probably end up punching her in the face out of frustration. Have you tried talking to her? Like a serious talk one on one?