Help sleep and 2 year old

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My 2 year old has never been a great sleeper but had improved drastically. I co-slept with her up until about 3 weeks before baby2 arrived. Those 3 weeks and for about 2 weeks after dd1 loved her new bed and was sleeping through. Easy to go to sleep etc. DH sleeps in her room now in a desperate double bed in case she woke.
After about 2 weeks since dd2 arrival dd1 will take about 1 hour to go to sleep, it's always a fight with tears and delaying tactics. She will wake after about 30-60 minutes crying. She will wake again during the night asking for milk. This can be multiple times. When she wakes dh takes her into bed with him and co-sleeps for the rest of the night. Occasionally she is so worked up that he can't settle her and she is just screaming for me. I have a few theories why this may be happening but just hoping someone will have some advice.

Dd1 back molars are coming down. She has 2 and 3rd is half broken through. She is now refusing calpol so I'm hiding ibruphen in her bedtime milk. I think this may be helping ..

I think she is getting night terrors ... I don't know what to do about this

I think she is having separation anxiety. I'm breast feeding dd2 and when dd1 hears her cry she pins me to the bed and shouts no (as in doesn't want me to leave her). Totally heart breaking she also told me one day, no- I was her mummy during daytime she loves dd2. Will constantly kiss and hug her. Show her her toys etc and if she cries will come and get me. I can't co-sleep with both as I've tried and dd1 doesn't even want me touching dd2 at night. Help!

Any suggestions/help/advice. My heart is pure breaking for both my dd and I really want to just split myself in two. Dd2 is now 8 weeks.

Wow that's long - it's so sorry and well done if you actually read that!

I don’t know what to say, but didn’t want to read and run. That sounds like a heartbreaking position to be in. Would mummy and dd1 time be an option, without the baby? Like for a little walk, or for a bath before bed, just you and her. I would explain to her that she’s mummy’s best big girl and little sister is so lucky to have such a cool big sister. I would try include her as much as you can. Have her stroke her sisters arm or cheek when she cries, have her “help” you change her, let her help you choose her clothes etc. explain that baby sister needs minding during the night but daddy is close by and mummy will be there in the morning for lots of cuddles.
She is little more than a baby herself so it may be hard to reason with her. I think with kids though consistency is key. Get her into a routine. Mummy time, bathtime, a story or two and then lights off. If you have to keep going back in, I would have her dad do that.

It’s easy for me to say let her cry but I know it’s hard when she is so little. If it’s any consolation, she has only had 8 weeks to get used to the new baby. Kids adapt so well to new situations. This won’t be forever.

Thanks for your reply @Fabaunt. It is totally heartbreaking she is a great help in daytime hours. Gets nappies, takes them to the bin. Bounces her chair etc when she cries. She really really does love her. Has to show her all her art work. Is first person she kissed in morning. She just is not liking the sharing me part.
Hopefully she adapts quickly as I think I cried as much as she did last night (daddy was in with her but I just wanted to be able to go)