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Help! Toddler behaviour and New Baby on the way!

1 reply

Sunshinesun · 15/01/2019 23:34

Advice needed!!

So my 2nd baby is due in 5 weeks. We’ve been starting to get organised and have started talking more about the new baby to our 3 year old. Ever since we started sorting out the new baby clothes and bringing all the baby stuff out of the loft my 3 year old has changed.

He’s become very clingy, only wants Mummy, he’s become very bossy and also started hitting out, telling me to Shhh and ordering me around, very possessive over his items, our amazing settler and sleeper has gone and bedtimes are now one HUGE battle, screaming, crying for hours and hours and will only settle with me sitting next to him. Comes into our bedroom during the night. Everything is No no no! Grinding his teeth in his sleep. The poor sleep is effecting day time behaviour and his emotions are extreme.... Oh boy he’s angry constantly!!

It’s so distressing to see him in such a state and behaving in this manner, I want to help him. It’s also hard work. I’m not going to lie, I’ve locked myself in the bathroom on several occasions over the past 2 weeks and had a good cry.

I’ve tried: Lots of reassurance, cuddles, positivity, patience, love, Mummy time, sticking to routine, less new baby talk, items of my clothing in his bed, new activities, talking more about his emotions and feelings, controlled crying at bedtime which previously worked well (Now it breaks my heart and it’s stressful) I’ve been firm, I’ve been soft, I’ve ignored, Ive Googled and now I don’t know what else I can do! Short of removing all the baby stuff out of his wardrobe (Perhaps he doesn’t like it there).

New baby anxiety, typical toddler behaviour, separation anxiety! Help?!?!?

Anything else I can try to help my little one through this? If it is the impending arrival causing this, I feel so guilty for being pregnant and doing this to him, it must feel awful in his little world. My husband is amazing but is finding this very tough he’s not as paitent as me and finds it all very stressful.

Currently riding a storm but struggling!

Thank you! Xxxx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
the99 · 15/01/2019 23:55

He's anticipating a big change and doesn't quite understand it. He's anxious. He has raised levels of cortisol and in a state of fight/flight.

Have you used pictures and books to explain?

Keep love bombing him.

Don't take any crap behaviour: be firm, fair and consistent but love bomb him at any opportunity.

I'd probably move the baby stuff out of his wardrobe. At three, he knows that's HIS wardrobe so WTF is that stuff doing in it!

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