Feel like my baby doesn't know I'm mummy!

[Alicia870]

This might sound really stupid, but this has just been really bothering me! Baby is 3.5 months old and I just feel that she still doesn't really treat me any differently to anyone else. She will smile and kick when she sees me but she does this to other people too! I know it's maybe just her age and she's not giving much back in the sense that she can't reach out for me or obviously say my name. I stopped bf at 6 weeks and don't regret it as it was so tough and my mental health has been so much better since stopping. But can't help but feel that it makes a difference with the bond.But when did others feel that they were sure baby knew you are mummy?

Took ages for my DDs to respond happily to seeing me. I was told it was because they can’t tell the difference between them and you (so they see you and them as one entity iyswim). So actually it’s the sign of a great bond if you don’t get much response.

Oh really, never heard that before! It just gets me down when I hear other mums say baby is so clingy to them and won't let them leave etc. I know that's not a great thing either. But when I leave baby with her nanny and return back, she doesn't even bat an eyelid when I approach her!

Hi OP, she's a bit young at the moment. Past six months and you'll really see a difference. She will definitely recognise you and know that you are special to her.

I read the 'doesn't know you're a separate person' thing as well. I've heard securely attached (good thing) babies are less clingy to mum.

DD was exactly the same and I bf (and coslept) til almost 2. Even when she started talking 'mummy' meant 'I want' and not me!

She's 2.4 now and told me she loved me the other day, so I think we're good :)

My baby, same age, is the same. It's hard that we work so hard to look after them and they don't seem that thrilled with us! But they take us for granted as they think we are part of them, I don't get excited about my foot for example, same thing!

Securely attached babies will be willing to explore new places and people with mum present but not attached. They have less stranger anxiety and as they get older start to show happiness on reunion, but this does take time. It sounds like your baby is happy and doing great.

FWIW sometimes my DD (14 mo) will smile at me when I collect her from nursery then turn back to what she was playing with. It does hurt but equally its reassuring that she's happy there and not desperately missing me all day.

Just remember she is still so so young. My lg is 19 months and literally couldn't give a shit if I'm here or not despite the fact I do everything for her 😔 breaks my heart but what can you do when she's a major daddies girl.
I'm sure she may reach the 'clingy' stage soon though.

Wait till she gets to 8 months. She'll turn into a koala and you won't be able to put her down. Mark my words. Lol