What is life like with a toddler and a newborn?

[GoodJobShesCute]

I have a toddler and would love her to have a sibling. I just can't imagine being able to deal with a newborn on top of her. She is wonderful but exhausting! I'm not too far off turning 40 so it needs to be sooner rather than later if we do have a second.
So, for those who have two, genuinely how do you manage? Really keen to hear some experiences.

My DD was 21 months when my DS was born. I made the huge mistake of not getting my daughter into a nursery (she is also a handful - full of energy, loud and strong willed! ). I'm not going to lie, I struggled and got PND. BUT I believe if I'd have got some childcare for my DD to take the load off I'd have got through much easier. Go for it OP. My 2 are now 3 and 1.5 and are gorgeous together running around playing ♥

If you really want another one just do it! All children are so different and you won't know how easy or hard it will be until you're in the situation. One thing is pretty certain - you're not going to regret having another child but you could regret NOT having one...

My oldest is nearly 3 and youngest nearly 14 months and I am exhausted. Youngest still wakes up a few times in the night plus I am usually up by 5ish. They are both terrible sleepers and won’t nap in the day. At the moment I feel like I have no time for either of them and that I haven’t had time for my oldest daughter since her sister was born, I guess it just depends how well they sleep and how demanding they are. I am so exhausted, every day I feel like I can’t keep going, but saying that, they love playing together so much and I wouldn’t change anything for the world and sure it will get better once youngest is a bit older.

So interesting to read these replies. We don't have helpful family close by, sadly. So often I think how different parenting must be when there are capable, loving and available siblings/parents close by to step in when things get tough! However, our daughter is in nursery two days a week which although I felt so guilty about at first (I do work but freelance and it's very unpredictable so sometimes she's in and I have nothing to do!) she absolutely loves it there and the time off is wonderful for me. Especially as my partner often works weekends as well as all week. Although he's planning on scaling back next month - or so he says!

I think as keepthebeaches said, it'd probably be a question of gritting my teeth and getting through the first year. Hopefully it wouldn't wreck my relationship. I remember when my daughter was a few months old thinking that there was no way we'd make it but somehow we got through the other side!

If it wasn’t for the sleep deprivation, it would have been so much fun!

Yes, just grit your teeth, get yourself as organised as much as possible, be relaxed about the tv, have a list of easy meals and make sure your dp does his fair, go out as much as possible and I’m sure you’ll get through it fine.

Sleep deprivation is a nightmare isn't it! Good point about the food though that is one thing that we failed at before our daughter was born. We had all these good intentions of batch cooking and freezing meals but never got round to it. Really wish we had!

The hardest thing was stopping the jealous toddler attacking the new baby! I had to take her with me wherever I went, even to the toilet, couldn't leave her alone for a second.

My two are 2 years apart in age.

IME, I found the first year really hard and I cried every day for 6 months. BUT I have no support, Baby DC was a challenging baby and a non sleeper, DP was working v long hours and I had PND. Life was tough for a while.

Having said that, they are 8 and 6 now, they adore each other and are v close and they keep each other entertained! Life is good and I am so glad we didn’t stop at 1 or have a bigger age gap.

HTH

I'm sitting here in leggings and eating a crisp sandwich for lunch while reading this. I have a 4 month old and a 2.5 year old. It's been tough but after 3 months things got easier when baby got himself into a form of a routine. The HV asked me how it is and with no family around and I couldn't really answer. It is what it is and you get by. But clearly my standards dropped!

I find nursery for 2 days is great, even if it just helps with the guilt of cbeebies on non-nursery days. And also to spend some time with baby, my ds1 wants a lot of attention. You won't regret it (I think) time goes so quickly, especially with a second one.

@bumblebean I tried every bath toy, bubble bath and themed bath time to get my son to like baths. He only started to like them aged 3! His 4 month old however loves them! Funny little things are babies!