Leaving children home alone!!

[fulltimeworkingmumof2]

DD is 10 and very sensible, DS is 8. DD starts year 6 in September. Majority of her friends walk to and from school by themselves. I work 4 days a week and them 4 days they are currently in after school club. DD broached this afternoon about walking home herself in September and not going to after school club. She will be be approaching 11. And she will be home from 3.45pm until 5.30pm by herself. Just under 2 hours. What's everyone's thoughts? And now we have started talking about it DS has asked if he can join her. He will be in year 4 and nearly 9!!! I'm really really not sure what to do for the best.

PLEASE no bashing just want people's thoughts and opinions as haven't decided anything yet!!! And won't be an simple decision!

Thanks

I'd make it a clear boundary and say they can walk at secondary school, not long to wait for older DC and younger one will know when too.
I might be in the minority though, just seems like a long time to be home alone.

The nearly 11 year old - if you can trust her and she knows what to do and who to call if she's worried, I'd say Yes. I did the same with my Year 6 but thinking back I was probably home by 4.45 so not as long.

I'd be uneasy about leaving 2 of them together though. My younger one stayed with an after school child-minder until Year 6 by which time of course the older was in secondary and very much a latch-key child!

That is a long time for a year 6 to be home alone. There is no way your younger child should be allowed to stay home by themselves.

Personally, I’d say yes to her ( I did similar at that age) but no to him as year 4 seems a bit young whereas year 6 seems to be the time when parents give more responsibility to their children! I suppose also what would influence me is how far she has to walk, if she would be with friends for part of the way etc and how she copes with unexpected things happening such as if she forgot or lost her key etc

I would say yes go your oldest when she starts year 6 and keep your youngest in after school club.

Ds is ten and I worry what he is up to when I am home!!
Dd's 12+13 home alone for less than an hour rarely.
Ds 4 is left with ds 17 occasionally.

Thanks both. I thought the same about younger one joining her. It's such a tricky decision. DD is very mature for her age. DS is about average but would worry i think leaving the 2 of them together in case they atarted bickering!! Theh both already know when at secondary school that they will be latch key kids lol

I might just break her in and she can do 1 Day a week to start with and see how she goes. And increase slowly over time. The walk to the primary school is about 5 minutes

Sounds sensible. Maybe over the summer holidays you could start leaving her and gradually increase the time until it’s similar to what it would be after school and see how she is. I wouldn’t have any worries if she is keen and sensible but I wouldn’t give her the added pressure of being responsible for DS just in case he gets up to anything! Plus it’s a nice opportunity to show her you acknowledge she’s growing up.

Hi OP

I have a Year 5 DC too and it's really hard knowing when to start allowing more independence. My DS is risk-averse but a complete dreamer. I'm not even convinced he knows the way home (5 minute walk)!

By the time they go up to secondary school they need to be able to get there and back independently, so really need to be preparing for this in Year 6.

We occasionally leave DS home alone for 10 minutes (when popping out to collect DD from somewhere). We don't leave them home alone together. Although DD is more clued up than DS she's only 7 and prone to doing dangerous acrobatics.

Is there a way you could allow your DD to walk home alone, but maybe not be at home by herself for so long (at first)? Could she stay at after-school club for an hour and then walk home? Could she walk home with a friend and wait at their house for a bit some days?

I'd say a def no to the younger sibling.
My y6/11yr old would be fine doing that, we have gradually built it up and we leave him alone for a hour or so at a time and have done 2 hours...
In order to feel comfortable doing it though we had a set of questions we all had to be happy with -
Did he want to do it
Did we have a support network around if there was a problem
What would he do if there was a problem (key doesn't work etc)
Does he use a mobile phone effectively
Is he generally reliable (we had to withdraw his right to be home alone for a week once when he went out and left the door wide open!, hasn't done it again!)
Would he need to cook?
Any pets to manage.

He now has 2 aftershools a week where I am out with younger sibling activities and I usually come home to him sprawled on sofa catching up on his fave tv programmes he hasn't had chance to watch!

Yes to older, no to younger. Younger is both too young, and two DC home alone brings up far more issues than one DC home alone.

Younger can reassess when they reach same age as older.

By the time they go up to secondary school they need to be able to get there and back independently, so really need to be preparing for this in Year 6

Completely agree with this.
Yes to dd, no to DS, sounds like you have got a sensible staggered approach in mind.

Agree with her about what she is going to do during the time; homework? Snack? Devices?