Firstly, I’m sorry for the long story!
Need advice
Basically one of my best friends fell pregnant after sleeping with this guy back in June 2017. We both knew the guy through our (ex) best friend, and they were always flirting etc but both didn’t want a relationship even though they were going to have a kid together.
The guy then started seeing another girl whilst my friend was pregnant with his baby, and barely spoke to her and missed a few scans.
My friend and the guy then met up to discuss things about the baby e.g names, birth plan etc and he said he would even stay over hers for the first week after the baby being born, to help with night feeds.
A few months later he said he didn’t want to do night feeds with her anymore because his gf wasn’t okay with it.
And then we found out that he was doing cocaine with our (ex) best friend (who was one of my oldest friends) and his new gf, which made everything worse.
Our (ex) best friend constantly lied to us about the guy doing cocaine and so we cut her off. I was really upset that I had to let go off my friendship with this friend because we have been close for years, but her drug use was getting out of hand and I was disgusted that she didn’t do the right thing by telling our pregnant friend that the father of her unborn baby, was snorting cocaine on a regular basis.
I chose to take my pregnant friends side as it seemed to be the right thing to do.
The guy still doesn’t message my pregnant friend and at this point is acting like he doesn’t want to be involved at all with the baby, and so my pregnant friend asked me to be her birthing partner instead of him (obvs said yes)
Fast forward to the baby being born, he starts to want to be involved and dumps his gf. The guy and my then pregnant friend start seeing each other straight away and make a go of things.
But she constantly would be upset still about how he completely abandoned her during the pregnancy , which obviously caused tension between them.
Then a month of two later my friend finds out the guy had been sending sexual messages to his ex gf’s mate and so she goes mental at him and decides to go out clubbing and kisses another person.
Fast forward to now, my friend has made it clear to me that she does not trust him and she often accuses him of being with other girls, doing drugs still etc. She’s clearly unhappy and she’s starting to take it out on me and her other friends.
Whenever I mention about him being no good for her, she flips out at me and gets defensive of him.
I don’t know what to do as it’s putting a strain on our friendship because she knows I do not like the guy.
He’s got loads of debts and told her he has almost finished paying them off, and because he’s doing this she doesn’t ask for him to help pay with bills or anything. Problem is we have just found out he’s actually got a lot more debts then he told her about. But again, if I say anything negative about him I get crap about it.
The situation is just getting worse and I don’t know how to help anymore. She doesn’t listen to me and now we barely speak. I know I sound selfish but I’m upset that after everything I’ve done for her like going to the scans when he didn’t show up, throwing away a long term friendship with one of my (ex) best friends to support her, being there during her labour etc she’s just thrown it all back in my face.
It’s really making me feel low :(
Thank you for reading, sorry if this was a long read!