Keep feeling so alone as a SAHM

[coffeecoffeesugar]

I have a wonderful 14 month old who I love to pieces and a lovely DH but I keep having days where I feel so alone in my situation. We are fairly new to the area we live in and whilst I do have some Mum friends I feel really lonely a lot of the time. I miss the mental stimulation and conversation at work but I'm really struggling to find a part time job that works for us as a family. I feel like I have given up a good job (they made it clear that it wouldn't work PT and so I resigned) and also sometimes like a part of me has died (sounds so dramatic but hoping others will get it).

I miss just being me and not 'someone's Mum' all the time. I miss making myself look nice for work, the office chat and being given good feedback for my work. Genuinely I feel like I have nothing to talk about with my friends who don't have children any more and that I need to somehow find a 'new me' that I am happy with. I feel like my DH doesn't really understand how hard it is sometimes.

Anyone else feel this way or have any tips to get me out of this rut?

Sounds really difficult. I think it's hard for partners who are out of the house at work to fully understand how all the time being the one at home is. Can you discuss with your DH again? How much looking after your child does he do (particularly solo), is there scope for him to go PT or have Flexible working hours to help you get back to work? Do you get much time to yourself or to do exercise or an activity? Leisure time helps and might give you the opportunity to meet more people.

When my parents moved to a new place and had me and my sisters they joined the SCA - a club where you pretend to be from the middle ages, get dressed up, have feasts, tourneys, learn to dance or craft medieval stuff, etc etc. The people there are super welcoming and you make friends and become part of the community quickly. As a child I loved it - a giant make believe game where the adults were in on it too and there were dozens of other kids to play with and adventures to be had.
There's usually events on every weekend and some things on weekdays, usually fighting practice or dance practice or archery practice etc.
There's chapters all over the world so chances are high there's one near you.

YES! I have def been there. I think you have loads of things going on at once. Some suggestions:

Do your habit and make up each morning so if you pass a mirror you look better than you feel!
Get out of the house in the morning, ideally to a toddler group or somewhere with other adults but if not just go out anyway.
Let your toddler get a little bored while you do domestic stuff through the day- they’ll learn to play independently and you get evenings off.
Make sure you take some time for yourself-a few hrs at weekend, the odd whole day if you can.

I found age 1 to 2 really hard. Once they can chat and do more it opens your world up again. Sleep tends to improve too!

Hang in there!

*hair not habit!!

Ps don’t stop trying to make friends. Just one really good friend makes all the difference

Thanks everyone, some good suggestions. I know its really silly but I feel in such a rut and it isn't like me - I will get out of it eventually!

Is there something you could find to volunteer in?

I feel the same sometimes im a sahm to my 16 month old. Cant really work cause of childcare but i find volunteering is more flexible and can even do it at home sometimes. Feel like im contributing to something bigger.

But yea time away helps even just one evening a week to do your own thing.