Is 3 yo DS lack of friends usual?

[Luluuuuuuuuuu85]

Hi all,

My 3 yo ds (3 in November) is very loud and boisterous but not particularly sociable. He has an older sister and they play brilliantly, and he plays with his cousin very well too. My concern is that when I take him to play groups, parties etc he doesn’t seem to play with the other children there. He’s happy to play on his own with what he wants to play with, rather than being drawn to games others are playing. This is the complete opposite to my daughter, who would always play with others and talk about her ‘friends’ from a young age. He’s always happy to go to these places and doesn’t seem intimidated at all. He’s been going to preschool since September and rarely mentions any of the children there and will tell me he plays on his own if I ask. How should I encourage him, if I need to at all, to interact more? Or is he likely to do this more as he get older? TIA!

I think it's pretty normal. The only thing I'd be a bit surprised by is that the nursery is so relaxed about it. They told me from the start that they felt DD was absolutely great and on track in terms of milestones, except socialisation, and it's what they try to help her with. When I chat with them about it, they say she's still only made one or two friends, but they encouraged me to increase her hours so that she can actually spend more time with the other children and they keep an eye on it.

It also impacted our decision making on reception as the school we'd originally liked was one we decided probably wouldn't be right for her as she's not that good at making friends.

I'd ask nursery if they can help at all - suggest small group activities etc?

They said that he sometimes played with other children and that he would if they ‘drew him in’ to a game. My concerns are that he isn’t developing socially and might be isolated and unhappy in the future- he isn’t unhappy at the moment. He tends to play alone when there are toys around and then with others more if they are playing imagination games. I have a preschool parents evening soon and I will see what they say- I don’t want to bring it up again as I feel I may be in danger of creating a problem myself!

And yes my daughter was definitely into the idea of having friends more than the actual mechanics of it as a younger child- now we have the delights of friendship drama in reception! My son is very big for his age and sometimes which subconsciously makes me feel he should be more developed than he is. He certainly isn’t as mature as my daughter was at the same age