Becoming a mother feels like

[lovely36]

My old self died. Can anyone relate? Before having my son, I worked as a teacher. I was single, therefor I was it with my friends almost every weekend. Went shopping when I felt like it, did what I wanted, had nice things, nice car, etc. When I meant my husband we had a child a year after getting married. I'm now a stay at home mom. My husband does ok but we are finally tight. Anyway the first few months and even now I find myself mourning my old self and my old life. I feel like I'm a completely different person. Although I love my child with all my heart. I've realised now that I basically live my life to care for him. For the first few months I hit rock bottom. I felt like a robot who was only alive to care for this new baby's I couldn't do anything I enjoyed anymore, I couldn't go anywhere, my life was to feed, change and care for my baby. The change was so drastic it put me into a massive depression. I felt I wasn't maybe fit to be a mom. I felt horrible for resenting my child. I felt even worse when I soon realised that your single friends fade away when you have children. My husband was out at work all day and well me I was home all day. Drenched in my thoughts, mourning my old self, trying to cope with my new life. Becoming a mother feel like you are born again. Like you are now a different person. Can anyone relate?

I feel like there is a fracture line between my old self and my new self, exacerbated by the fact that my old self was held together with superglue and sellotape having gotten broken up during two very long periods of dealing with infertility.
I don't think I regret any of it, I just didn't realise the impact it would have on me way back when DH and I first decided to try for a baby.

I can relate to where you're coming from.

I certainly felt this when DS was a New born and he had no personality (couldn't smile or laugh yet) and would cry pretty much all the time. I felt so isolated and lost my sense of self. It's hard feeling like your existence is purely to serve another person and you can no longer do things for leisure.

However, at 6 months, my DS has developed so much character. He can sit up and can occupy himself with toys for a few minutes. I'm not out of the woods yet but I get so much more enjoyment out of him than I did in the New born stage. I look forward to him growing more and talking and I can definitely see what a gift it is to have a child. I also look forward to growing old and having a family (I.e grown kids) of my own. I imagine it gets very lonely as you get older if you don't have kids.

Yes absolutely, I felt exactly the same with my first child who was quite demanding. Best thing I did was go back to work (she was 5 months), I appreciated the time I had with her much more and felt like I was myself again not just somebody's mum.

I can definitely relate to that. What age is your baby? Mine is 27mo and I feel like myself again The first few months are all about the baby, but it does ease off somewhat eventually (at least it did for us).

I still feel different, but not in a bad way - I feel stronger.