Watching an 18 with a ten year old in the room

[stridesy]

My son is 10 and also has asd so unlike nt children doesn't always have the best judgement when it comes to language. My oh has got into the habit of "daddy time" this basically means on top of his iPad/game time I've given him (which is generous probably more so that he's not in school) he's on the iPad till 9 which I don't approve of. Something which started off as my son showing my oh a level or doing a battle together now involves my oh watching tv and my son with headphones in the corner. I have a 2 year old and spend a good amount of time trying to get her to sleep. I have been a little concerned to see my oh watching things like Alien and probably more with the movie inbetweeners. Not sure the reason for this post but just want a bit of support really. Apart from anything his tutor expressed concerns he'd watched final destination. Just want my oh to stop being so lazy and "parent" a bit more.

I read this post three times and it makes absolutely no sense

yes, that's entirely inappropriate. I don't have any experience of ASD but isn't there something they could do together in Daddy time? But at the very least he needs to ensure your DS isn't exposed to age-inappropriate TV.

I really don't understand it. Maybe the op will come back and explain better.

in the evening when the OP is getting her 2 yo to sleep, her OH and DS have Daddy time, which currently consists of the OH watching 18 rated films and the DS on his ipad in a corner of the room. Issue is 18 rated TV and too much ipad time for the DS,

That's 'daddy time' for daddy, not for your DS.

Well it doesn’t sound like quality ‘daddy time’. It actually sounds rubbish.

I think the dad is watching 18 rated films while the 9yo is in the room, the dad thinks that as his son is gaming on his iPad with headphones on this is OK, the OP thinks it is inappropriate and I agree with her.

How many hours is your ds on the iPad for every evening? 9 is quite late.
Can’t they do something else together?

I understand. When you DH is supposed to be having quality time with his son, he sticks said son in the corner with a tablet and proceeds to watch 18 rated films which your son is then exposed to.

Have you spoken to your DH about how inappropriate this is? Solutions are either your DH actually spends quality time with his son doing something they can do together or, if your son wants to be on the tablet ( and you're happy what he's doing in there is age appropriate) maybe your DH should watch his films in another room? After all 10 is old enough to be unsupervised.

Hi sorry for the confusing post. "Daddy time" is just a term my son uses. It used to work as a way of getting him off the iPad and brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed and was meant in my mind 5-10 minutes of togetherness when oh comes home from work. Not as a way my oh can watch tv in peace. Son had a previous habit of pacing up and down in the dinning room talking to himself or sitting and reading a book. I feel more effort should be made in keeping him upstairs which I have mentioned to oh.
It's just I'm beginning to get concerned what is on although my son has headphones on. Normally it's football. But there have been a few recently..
I guess the problem will resolve itself once son gets his school place. Glad I'm not the only one that thinks that.

well, personally I'd be a bit more active in stopping this but it's up to you.

what's your DP like as a parent usually, aside from this, I mean?

It’s a 15 but still not ok.

What happens if you take your sons iPad away. Pacing up and down and processing stuff or reading a book is better than being on his iPad. Can you just take your son upstairs while you put your 2 year old to bed? I have autistic and NTchildren and that is how I've done it. Why can't your OH our son to. Ed?

Bed. Obvs

Can't the 10 year old put himself to bed and read in his room if DH won't engage?

Your OP was hard to understand but if an under 18 child is in the room then nobody should be watching an 18 rated film.