How much playtime with 14 week old?

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hi folks, just after some opinions.

DS is soon 14 weeks and I’m trying a loose routine following the EASY method.

The principle is eat - activity - sleep - ‘you time’ (whatever that means ... ).

So after I’ve fed him we have playtime which ends in a nappy change and a little song so signal sleep time. It’s not working especially well so far and I’m not sure whether that’s because I’m giving him too much playtime making it difficult for him to wind down.

How much play did you do at a time at this age?

Play generally comprises time on playmat with activity centre, time in swinging chair with stuff for him to grab, rattles, music and other toys. I think I do about an hour at a time and I’m questioning whether this is too long.

Thanks!

I don’t think it’s working because I genuinely don’t think you can do much of a routine at this age and you’re just setting yourself up to fail if you try.

DD is 13 weeks too. If she’s tired she naps, she’s EBF so feeds on demand and whenever she’s in the mood, we play. She lets me know when she’s had enough as she doesn’t engage anymore.

I think she’ll naturally settle into more of a routine as she gets a bit older but for now she’s still so tiny, baby led is the way for us!

To answer your question specifically, there’s no way my DD would focus on play time for an hour but maybe she has a short attention span...we do 10 mins max at a time.

wombatsears hi thanks for replying.

I started the (very) loose routine because I found that I was completely missing his sleep cues and ended up with an incredibly miserable, overtired baby on my hands by late afternoon.

Maybe I need to have a rethink.

He’s so alert that I found it impossible to settle him down for naps and bedtime because there was always something more interesting for him to look at than the inside of his crib or the crook of my arm! I thought that by making things a little more predictable, I’d be helping him out.

Very interesting about 10 minutes at a time. What do you do with your DD for the rest of the day? Is she carried around in a sling or do you just give her some quiet time after she’s played? Thanks again!

My DD is 13 weeks and we have lots of short periods of playtime. E.g. 10 minutes of reading then I’ll just talk to her, then we will play with her turtle, then maybe some time on her mat doing tummy time. I also use her swing, her play pit and her bouncer as other activities. We have playtime in the bath too so we vary it. DD probably would do 45 mins playtime but I’d have to keep switching it up. After that she’s be wanting a feed, to kick about her legs or nappy change.

I take her to a class every day so that she interacts with lots of other people

At this age I think you just need to note when they woke up last and keep your eye on the clock. They probably will only be awake 1-2 hours max and then be ready for a nap so look out for signs of sleepiness then like rubbing eyes or yawning.

I found the early days my DS would happily nap in the pram, car, swing seat or sling so I just used to go about my daily business and he would nap wherever we were. He was EBF so would feed to sleep wherever. I can't imagine how restrictive it would be if he had to have a fixed routine at that age. With only and hour or two between naps you'd never leave the house.

Yeah I tried that method for about a week. Made us both miserable. Every new mum I know has said the same thing! I would (and still do) watch for the yawns, when I saw three in a short space of time it was naptime.

He would only play with something for a few minutes so I'd switch between waving a toy at him with chores or have a dance to the radio. He liked sitting in the baby seat in the supermarket trolley so we'd go for a wander round Tesco while he was getting all the fuss from the old ladies. Every thing is a game at this stage! He'd sleep anywhere so I'd get out as much as possible too.

I’ve just found that she wants to play whenever she’s not tired or hungry so we just go with it. As PP said, everything is a game at this stage so she does have her baby mat with rattles, teddies, books etc but mainly she likes to just practise ‘talking’ with me and also study her favourite pictures on the wall or the lights so I just look for opportunities when she’s alert and ready to engage. She’s happy for about 10 mins before we have to mix it up a bit and do something else or she might get tired, hungry, need a nappy change etc...

We go out a lot in the day including baby groups which I count as play too as she gets to interact with others but sometimes she just sleeps through these.

I’ve found that when she’s upset it’s normally a process of elimination. If she’s not hungry and she doesn’t have wind then it’s usually tiredness so I pop her in the sling or rock her to sleep which normally sends her off.

It’s hard though isn’t it! I’m looking forward to a more predictable routine.

You don't have to 'play' with your babies to entertain them. Just take them around the house as you do normal things and chat to them, show them things out the window, sing songs. They don't need structured playtime at that age, they just need you being you.

Thanks very much for the replies.

Hmm, I’m going to rethink this one. I’ve just done around 45 minutes play with him this morning and now it’s a battle to get him to sleep, even though I know he’s tired. Problem is, if he could stay awake all day and night, he would!

He does sleep in the car but what does everyone do when you’re at home? I’m studying part time at the moment so do need to be at home for some time during the week, even though we do get out to groups/go for walks etc.

I agree with ApolloandDaphne, best bit of advice I read was (am not generally a fan of parenting books etc!) was that babies are stimulated by life, and don’t need special playtime etc to develop. DS2 (15 weeks) gets dragged around with my older one. He’s happy to see people and be taken to different places to stare at the lights and new people! I downloaded an app to suggest activities when DS1 was little as I was a bit anxious about his development but not sure it helped and just made me a bit stressed about what he ‘should’ be doing. He’s now 2yrs 9 months and developing just fine . I found with both a routine didn’t develop at this age, with DS1 until much later. In fact not having a routine made it easier to get out and about!

OP will he sleep in a sling? That’s what mine did/do if I needed to get something done in the house.

wombatsears me too! I can’t wait until we can have a proper routine. Maybe I’m trying to force the issue too early. It was desperation, to be honest, because he fights sleep and I was dreading every nap time because it was always a battle.

ApolloandDaphne I wondered whether I was trying to do too much too soon. Listening to my mother who believes that all children need loads of stimulation, which I know they don’t, but I was feeling guilty for not engaging him with loads of ‘stuff’.

wallsbangers yep, I’m getting the feeling that we’re going to end up miserable following this pattern! Add me to the list of people for whom it hasn’t worked! 😂 It’s interesting though, because on some forums they swear by the EASY method. Wonder how much they’re getting paid for the endorsement!

tappitytaptap I’ve got a wraparound sling that I use and sometimes he goes off in there, but it’s very hit and miss. Maybe I should look for a different one?

Ha ha, this is exactly my problem - I read too many books and don’t really trust my own judgement because I’ve never done this before and don’t feel as though I’m getting anything right!

Are you sure he’s actually over tired? Maybe he’s just not ready for a nap and it’s frustrating you both trying to enforce them? My DD hates being put down on her own and is generally content being held even if not napping.

Ds1 never had any sleepy cues and was, with hindsight, massively overstimulated. Ds2 was abandoned in a bouncer/push chair/moses /wherever while I chased after the toddler. He was happy for a bit watching us, then would winge for a few minutes, by the time I had finished task with toddler and turned to him he was asleep. Tiny babies only really need someone to play with them for a little bit really.
Ds2 also had a good routine because I had ds1 napping at the same time (bliss).
Basically just try wake, feed, wind, then 10 -30 minutes mat time then try putting back to sleep.
Good luck.

We found that a bedtime routine at this age was far more useful. Bath, story/milk, bed.
Daytime - everyday is different one day you might want to go out for the day so baby is in Pram rather than playmat etc. I remember my Friday's always used to be the major no routine day as I took baby swimming every Friday morning from 8 weeks old and he would then have a massive feed and sleep for about 6 hours.
If you are overthinking it a bit you might find it all sort of just happens by itself if you give yourself a more flexible day.