My kids hate dinner!

[nimummyof3]

Not posting for a specific answer but really need to know that it gets better. My son had always been good at breakfast and lunch but dinner is just awful. I am gradually getting more relaxed but no matter what I try I end up feeding him because he's just not a dinner person. Between being fussy, only eats small portion and lazy to feed himself dinner just is not pleasant he is 7. My daughter who is 4 used to be a better eater but I am seeing more and more now that she's almost worse than my son but she will at least Feed herself. You might get some veg into my son if you feed him but my daughter is just no to all veg. I have a 11 month old baby and I am just hoping she'll be different that way! I just csnt imagine ever sitting down to a dinner in or out where my kids eat and its nice a peaceful. A meal that's not burgers and chips that is!

Sitting here waiting for mine to refuse his

Spoke too soon
He is eating it

Feel for you as we used to have massive issues with our ds. He's still hit and miss but I've founding timing is the key for us. So they have no snack after school just dinner at 4.30 and then a supper before bed. If I know he's off on one dinner us a platter of fruit meat cheese and crackers or a do your own fajita or pasta so he only picks what he wants so takes the faff out. Then cereal crumpets or toast for tea.
Does he have lunch as in a sandwich? Could you make breakfast and lunch big enough so he only has supper?
Or lunch small enough that he's really hungry for dinner?

We put dinner back an hour so they were really hungry

Try a mixed salad on the table while they are waiting -

We eat late 7 - 7.30 (sometimes later ). Maybe it’s just too soon?

Provide very small portions to begin with so it’s not overwhelming. If they want more they can always have more. Use small plates, don’t fill it up. Don’t worry if they don’t eat much. If they have eaten well throughout the day, a small portion or a few mouthfuls is fine. That’s all they need.

Don’t get hung up on this. Really.

Small portions?
Later meal?
Something like soup and roll? Veggie sausages?

planesspotting 🙈

Yesterday I made hot dogs. DS ate all and then I gave him a small treat. He wanted more and I told him no, so he said he was still hungry and could he have another hot dog. I almost fainted, he never asks for more dinner, and he ate about 2/3 of second one.

If I make a meal that DS or DD have to use a fork to eat they pick through it like it's poisonous and it sits until it is cold unless I shovel some into their mouths. I refuse to make 2 different meals at dinner time. Today we had stew and usually they might manage a couple spoonfuls each with tomato sauce, but today was painful between spotting pieces of carrots and onions and just not having enough tomato sauce to kill any flavour! I don't mind the odd day of dinner problems but I am running out of motivation for cooking!

DS gets home at 2 and by 4 he's hungry so I try and hold of until 4.30 or 5 for dinner. They usually have supper but I am trying to assert that if they take too long for dinner it's too soon after for supper and also if they aren't hungry enough to eat dinner they aren't hungry enough for supper..... Is this bad!?

My kids have a snack after school at about 4.30. Like oatcakes and cheese or banana on toast. That keeps them going until the evening meal is served...at which point they are usually ravenous. They don’t have supper. It’s dinner, down time, bed.
Might be worth a try.

I would never shovel food into a 7 or a 4 yr olds mouth. They are independent enough to know whether or not their body needs food.

I had a friend years ago who had issues around her kids eating and was always trying to force meals on them and make them eat. She would shovel food in amongst their protests and I’m afraid to say I did rather think her a tyrant and barmy with it. I wanted to slap the fork out of her hand and shout, “She’s not bloody hungry!”
Her kids were healthy, thriving - they just needed less food than she thought they did.

Oh gosh, I'm not talking about force feeding my kids but more I find at times if they let dinner sit that they only actually eat when I am the one feeding them. Besides, thered be no forcing food into my kids mouths they would be far too strong willed for that! And anyways, that wouldn't be my thing, I'm obsessed with them actually wanting to eat.

I just need to know it gets easier. As I said I am trying to be more relaxed about it but some days it's so hard 😬

Ok then. My advice is to chill back a bit and keep the evening meal light hearted. You know they’ve eaten well throughout the day so no harm will come as a result of picking at dinner. Small portions, small plates. Make sure there is a bit of everything on offer then ignore what happens after that. Don’t get into a battle of wills or spoon feed them. they won’t suffer for a missed stew.

It won’t always be like this.

Thanks pictish, I think I needed to vent more than anything. I love cooking, it's just become very stressful when cooking for the kids

My DD is like this (nearly 4). Massive breakfast, good lunch, bit rubbish at dinner. I refuse to feed her unless she’s ill, partly as my 6 yr old would then demand the same! If I know she is really tired I will bring tea forward to 4.45 (usual is more like 5.30) so she’s less tired, that helps. Also as she eats well at other meals and is certainly not skin and bone I can relax about it.

How many meals a day are they having? By my count breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper? Maybe they just aren't hungry. People these days do tend to over feed their kids, no judgement, just a fact. Try three meals a day and a small after school snack. If they won't eat the last meal then you could just tell them "you aren't getting anything else tonight" if you stick to it they'll realise pretty quickly that they should eat their meal and if they don't you'll know they've eaten two meals and a snack and that they'll be fine.

I think eating at 4.30-5.00 is way too early. Their father is an adult if he is hungry when he gets home he can have a snack. Try eating later and you may find they are actually hungry.

I’m not sure if this will make sense but I’ve noticed that with my DD (2.5 years), she does the vast majority of her eating in the morning. Breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch. Breakfast could consist of 4 different things. But dinner is picked at.

My DS (4) however, eats very little breakfast, a bit of lunch, but then the rest is a snack in the afternoon and a big dinner.

Once I realised this I was much more relaxed re food. I think we have been hard wired to try and force a big dinner to help a good night’s sleep.

Honestly it's not going to get easier until you just stop feeding them. If they eat nothing and are hungry later that is tough. You need to be stronger about this. I can not imagine spoon feeding a 7 year old. It is crazy.

Sit them down and say you are no longer feeding them as they are big children. Put a meal in front of them for 20 minutes and no more, then take it away.

Apologies I read Ds as DH, due to the timings, out of curiosity why does he get home at 2?

And it is unlikely the baby will be any different as they will grow up seeing the other two and copy.

We changed tea time to 6ish for this reason- 4.30 is very early!!

Maybe try switching it up? Btw 7 is way to old to be feeding him. If I were you I'd make him feed himself. I think with the 11 months old it's important you start setting food eating habits young. A lot of the times they eat too many snacks through the day and when it gets to dinner time they're not hungry. What I do is. I offer my son breakfast. I try and make it look really good. Like I'll give him an omelet, some chopped strawberries and a piece of toast with avocado or jam on it. All small portions. And 2 hours later I'll offer a snack. Two hours later he has his lunch. Again I try to give him a few things to can pick at. Two hours later another snack and then two hours later dinner. Sometimes I'll wait three hours until dinner and he has no snacks in between. That's the only way he'll eat and it really worked for me. When he does eat a snack before dinner I make sure it's not an hour before dinner and it's something light like fruit or yogurt. Idk if that helps? But it worked for me!

My son is home at 2 because that's the time school finishes. I don't offer a snack then because very little puts off his appetite. They would have had their lunch at school around 12. 30 so by time dinner is ready it could be anything between 4 or 5 hours since he ate. And a majority of the time he or my DD will be saying they are starving while dinner cooking. Today I was very relaxed about things. But dinner on a Friday is something simple like today it was frozen pizza!
Luckystar1 I know what you mean, my oldest 2 just aren't big eaters and I need to understand that. Lunch time seems to be their eating time!

Yes exactly. If they are happy to get their fill over lunch don’t worry about dinner being anything else than a nominal offering. Tiny portions and no pressure. A few mouthfuls will be all they need.
Of course that may change over time...and that’s fine. Go with the flow.

Do they get a decent meal at school? I wouldn't over worry. Give them what they will eat. If they prefer sandwich type foods give them that and make something lovely you and your DH will eat. If they ask for a taste give them it.

Don't make food into a fight. I say this as someone whose children are now grown up. I nearly made food into a battle with very fussy DD2 then I decided not to make it stressful for us both. So I gave her what she liked within reason. She is a grown woman now who pretty much eats anything. This too will pass.

A variety of bowls on the table, kidney beans, coleslaw, sweetcorn, was always a hit with mine.
that and the video camera they put on a show for the camera and ate without refusing.
do you all together?