Nervous to go to baby groups on my own?

[LanaLily11]

Hi everyone,

I have a 9 week old baby girl and up until around 2 weeks ago I didn’t think she’d benefit much from any groups at that stage. However the past 2 weeks she is much more alert and interested in things around her etc. I think now would be the perfect time to start trying out different baby groups however I feel a little nervous and embarrased about going on my own. I can imagine these places are all very cliquey, everyone knows eachother and people would stare. I’m still at a stage where I can get a little flustered whilst out and about with my baby. Has anyone got any tips or advice?

TIA

We all had to walk in on our own the first time. I made some great friends, still friends 18 years later.

I still remember how nervous I was the very first time I went to a baby group.

However, it was one of the best things I ever did!

I made some lovely friends and it was great to see my sons make good friends before they started school.

Good luck!

If you're alone then there's going to be loads more who are alone! I started going to baby groups at 6 weeks and they saved my sanity. There was always people up for a chat. It's horrible walking in at first but you'll find you aren't the only one 😊

Hi! Congratulations on your baby.

I found it really daunting at first, but honestly I have made so many friends since having DD. Baby conversation can go on for hours! Just ask the usual how old are they? What’s their name etc? Everyone feels the same.

How about starting with something low key. Like if your library has a rhyme time. Or do you have a children’s centre? They have breastfeeding groups if you are BF and sometimes sensory sessions to go along to. I find the hosts are always really good and very welcoming!

There is also an ap called Mush you can download to meet local Mums if you are worried about going to groups on your own.

Honestly, a nine week old won't get anything from being in a church hall for an hour a week.

If you go, go for yourself; go with a smile and with the attitude that you can and will make new friends.

If you think you need to do it for your baby, you could wait another 6 months.

I remember feeling daunted going to the groups at first - almost felt like the first day of school! Most people are there because they're desperate for some adult conversation and to talk to people going through same thing- so I didn't find groups too cliquey (obviously there will be the odd few!). If in doubt just compliment people's babies/babies outfits/lack of sleep and ask how their labour went... that always gets the conversation going!

My DD is 7 months now and I couldn't cope without my local baby group. She needs it to burn off some energy and I need it to get some adult conversation. It's also great to here other mums experiences of baby problems like jabs/first colds/teething/weaning. It can be nerve racking but I bet u will meet someone lovely people and possible life long friends. I made a great friend who I message regularly about the lack of sleep

Lots of baby groups run in terms - in line with school terms - and people usually join at the start of a term, so going then would increase your chances of meeting other newcomers and it not being too cliquey. Also look for young baby groups so you meet people with similar age babies. NCT also run coffee mornings and park walks etc, which are often free and you don't need to be a member, but are well run and often the mums are there because they want to meet people.

In my experience these groups aren't cliquey. In fact, as a new Mum I've never felt more kindness and support from others in the same position. After you've been once you'll wonder why you were so worried. It's amazing what a bit of socialising can do after a night of no sleep!

Oh god, I remember the nerves! Best thing I ever did, we have friends for life out of that group! Just do it, and know it’s ok to be vulnerable, to be human. You’re all experiencing this incredible journey together, it’s a gift to share it

My DS is 4 months and I have been feeling exactly the same OP. I really struggle with making conversation with people I don't know and dread walking into a room. It does get easier to get out and about with a baby. Even just going to the supermarket felt like a huge ordeal at first but it has got so much better. DS was always fine, it was just me stressing out!

Maybe try looking for a session where the activities are directed by a session leader, so you're there to "do" a thing. I'm doing a sensory class and have swimming booked in. I figure even if I don't strike up a conversation with anyone at least the majority of the session is taken up with structured activities etc so there will be less awkwardness. A good group leader should make you feel welcomed and included, and that really helps.

I can imagine these places are all very cliquey, everyone knows eachother and people would stare

That wasn’t ever my experience.

I always found groups to be friendly and welcoming. Usually someone will come over and say hi and welcome you to the group.

Be brave, it’ll be worth it.

I have been to lots recently. None have ever been cliquey. I have found other mums to be so warm and open.
Go! I don’t think you will regret it!

Hi, I also have a 9 week old baby! He is my 3rd son. First two sons are ages 9 and 7.
With both my eldest two I avoided baby groups. Hated them. I had poor mental health. I stayed at home and didn't socialise so neither did my babies!
I don't think it did them any harm. But this time round I'm much happier and I have a wonderful supportive husband.
I'm also 40 this year, don't know whether the age helps or not. But I've taken him to baby massage and a couple of other groups. It is lovely and not clique-y at all.
Have your confidence to get out there and you will meet other mums in exactly the same position.
Good luck and lots of love xx

Baby groups are fab and we've been going since DD was 4 weeks. Sometimes she just like to watch what's going on, other times there is an interesting new toy. It's also good to get to know other mum's with babies in your area as they may end up at nursery or school together. I used an app called mush to meet local mum's and we then arranged to go together so I wasn't walking in alone. I actually met one mum on Facebook after she asked for recommendations for local groups and said that she didn't know anyone. If you start getting out there you'll be surprised how many people you start seeing regularly.

If you're embarrassed about going to baby groups on your own, consider taking your baby.

...I'm sorry, I'll get my coat

Things such as baby yoga or baby massage are excellent things to start with, as well as song times at your library. Then try out larger baby and toddler groups. I’m not sure what is available where you live but there are lots of great choices here.
It is daunting the first time you go but we’ll worth it!

*well

How about a baby class to ease you in, something like baby sensory/swimming/massage that way there is an activity to focus on and not the pressure to talk/make friends.

I used to have the same nerves but I have to say out of the tens of baby groups I’ve been too I’ve never come across any that are cliquey. Generally everyone is in the same boat just trying to get out of the house! If you’re nervous why not email the organisers before you go and ask who to ask for when you get there, whoever runs the group will make sure you’re welcomed in as you get to know people x

there should be a sensory class or massage class aimed at babies, mostly will have babies of a similar age and not necessarily know anyone either