Should I go from 2 to 3..am I mad?

[iliketrees]

Got two children, dd 4.5 and ds 2.5, and keep thinking about having another. Always wanted three but pregnancies are high rish and early babyhood are nightmarish for us (both babies had awful sleep first couple of years). It would be easy to say forget it and not go for a third but I think I would regret it later. We are just leaving the hard years of feeding and nappies (me thinking naively of course!)and I am getting back into work etc but I can't let it go. It's not just being broody..I want this for my children as much as for me. three is good - isn't it?? Need some encouragement please...

[Aloha]

Ack, Dino, it's a bugger but he's a gorgeous little chap, no doubt about that!
I sometimes have very odd fantasies about babies left on doorsteps etc. Am very surprised this is it, babywise. I do understand the desire for more, even if the ones you have drive you to the edge of sanity from time to time.

[motherinferior]

'I do understand the desire for more, even if the ones you have drive you to the edge of sanity from time to time'...oh yes, me too.

I'm 44, and really cannot face having any more - if I'd started on this baby lark younger, though, I'd definitely be yielding to the desire, however demonstrably insane, to increase the number of Inferiorettes in the world. And then probably have another. Oh gawd.

[handlemecarefully]

hatrick and nemo - I am genuinely very impressed at the small gaps between your three and the fact that you are both happy and sane. I have 2 and they are 21 months apart - and frankly that nearly got me committed.

[motherinferior]

Yes, I very much could not have held things together with smaller gaps.

In fact, I realise now just how badly I did hold things together with even two, for quite a long time. So for me, it's probably just as well I didn't have any more.

[Aloha]

Nonsense MI. You would have been fab. Shouty, but fab
Ah well, twas not to be...

How's the job. Every day I mean to call you and every day we have another school-related horror. I am more blase about them atm, dh is taking over the angst this week. We are a very modern couple you know.

[sweetkitty]

My first 2 are 18 months apart and I love the small gap, sometimes it is hard but overall it's great fun, a lot of patience and a good sense of humour are a must (as are lowering of houseproud standards).

[foxinsocks]

weirdly, the more adamant I've become about not wanting more, the less sure dh has become (which I find v strange).

Close age gaps are overrated I agree. Mine were just under 15 months apart and there are whole swathes of time that I just cannot remember!

[youpeskykids]

Dinoasour - do you get people asking you whether you'd "like to try for a girl?" I have 2 DSs DS1 is 3.5 and DS2 13weeks - I already would love to have another one (not right now of course!) But because I have 2 DS, already people are asking me whether "I'm going to try again for a little girl".

This really annoys me! I love being a mother to 2 sons - don't get me wrong, a little girl would be nice, but I would be very happy with another little boy!!

So in answer to original question - I'd love to go from 2 to 3!!! And so great to read others positive posts.

[handlemecarefully]

I was wicked to mine when they were smaller. I remember barricading myself in the bedroom whilst they hammered on the door to get in . That was probably the PND though!

[bosch]

Hi

Another vote for 3 here too. I have 3 boys, aged 5, 3 and 8 months and it's lovely and really hard work too.

I found that the more children I have, the more laid back they get. Ds1 is just like me (grrr) and impossible, ds3 is so laid back he just wants to smile all day.

As dh won't let me have anymore I've started thinking about adopting - as if he'd notice if I got pg but wouldn't notice if I just produced an extra baby from thin air, lol!

[MrRuffalo]

have 3
i had 3 then 6 years then two more
its knackering but fab
live life!

[sweetkitty]

I'm so dreading the "trying for a boy" and "you'll be hoping for a boy then" that's going to follow shortly or "what if it's twins" erm I'm hoping for a healthy happy baby and sell one on ebay of course. Idiots!

[youpeskykids]

sweeetkitty - echo my post!

[sweetkitty]

I actually don't want to tell some family members as I know their reaction will be less than positive.

Why do people feel the need to comment on the size or sex of other peoples families, I couldn't care less if someone has 10 children it's their responsibility, them paying for them/getting up in the night/taking care of them, nothing to do with me so why comment?

[JodieG1]

You sound like me. I now have 3, ds2 is almost 6 months, dd 5.4, ds2 3.8 and it's wonderful. None really slept well and ds2 followed suit, still doesn't and wakes 4-5 times a night to feed. Very normal though and worth it. My pregnancies have been bad too, dd prem labour after PE in preg and bleeding, ds1 bleeding and prem contractions, ds2 waters broke at 22 weeks and had prem contractions and hospital stays with them all. Steroid injections with all too but every second was worth it to have my amazing children I'd love another but after all the problems I had and also having had 5 miscarriages (have pcos too) I would find it hard emotionally. Dh had the snip also so def no more. I'd try for another if dh changed his mind and wanted a reversal but for now I consider us done.

[Anchovy]

I think your perspective might also come from how many siblings you have. I'm one of 4 and DS is one of 3 and I think we both think 2 feels a bit...lightweight!

[stepfordwife]

i've got 3 and it's great. but it is hard work and i found it a shocker going from 2-3, tbh. i think it's when the kids outnumber the adults, it gets scary

but i wouldn't change it - i always felt there was someone "missing" before we had dd, who's just turned 2. of course, as had ds1 and ds2, had everyone saying:"Ahhh trying for a girl then?..."araggghhhh

[hotmama]

Timely thread for me as well as I'm really thinking about number 3 - I also feel that I'm not finished with 2 - but I am now 40 so don't really have that much time to think about it really - do I?

Slight hijack - congrats sweetkitty - I was on the Jano6 antenatal thread but ended up on the Feb 06 postnatal thread - my dd's are only 16 months apart.

Is there any truth that stuff lasts for 2 but you often have to buy stuff when you have a third as stuff generally has got a bit knackered by then?

[sweetkitty]

hi hotmama how you doing? Go for number 3 too you know you want to. DD2 wears a mixture of new clothes and DD1's old ones I reckon if DB3 is a girl she would have a mixture too. I am already feeling sorry for DD2 who will be kicked out her cot when DB3 arrives (it's a bedside one which gives extra room when cosleeping so need it, it's great would totally recommend them) and then her room when DB3 is a year.

[frazzledazzle]

I've got 3 DC'S, aged 3.9 20months and 1 month.
As people have already said I felt someone was missing.
It's early days for me but I'm not finding it as hard as I thought.Imagine the worst then you can't be disappointed I say!
I have always loved my sleep but,for me sleep deprivation has been easier to handle with each child.
Having 3 is great

[PussinWellies]

hotmama -- nah, no need to buy ANYTHING for number 3, as all your 2-child friends will gleefully offload their unneeded pram, cot, babygros, coats, slings, etc, etc, onto your baffled baby. My third child is 5 now and STILL inheriting sackloads of rather nice clothes from at least three other families.

[MrRuffalo]

dinosaur - jealous old bat she sounds vile

[mintchips]

My sister has 3 ds and once phoned me up fuming: She'd taken all 3 to the shops where an old woman in the checkout queue smiled 'sympathetically' and said "you must be so dissappointed"

[angry}

It pees me off when people look at my dds and then ds and say "you got your boy then"

[mintchips]