how to handle my 2 year old - new to being a single mum

[Lorddenning1]

Hi Everyone

Just need to advice really on how to handle my nearly 2 year old, he is such hard work at the minute. He has always been a high maintenance child since being born, he is quite strong willed and stubborn, but since nearing the terrible two's i find myself losing my head with him daily..
I am a newly single mum to 2 DS, my first DS was a dream and such a good child (i cant remember him being that bad as a toddler). DS 2 does not listen, he hits, kicks, hits the pets, shouts No at me and his older brother, sometime wrecks his toys, and he throws stuff he we tell him no. I obviously dont have anyone in the house who can help me with him, i feel like its all on me.
I work full time and my day starts early, i get us all ready for work, school nursery, but by the time i have got to work i feel like iv had a day of it. He will follow me around the house everywhere, even tries to get into the toilet too, he wont sit still and play nice with his toys (well maybe for around 5 mins) but he always seems to find something naughty to do. I am constantly telling his no, dont touch that, stop doing that etc. His dad has the children for 1 night stay over a week, so I do get some respite from them, but he drops them off and around 1 hour later im pulling my hair out again.
I feel like he rules the house at the minute, I dont smack him and i try to be consistent and use the naughty corner when he gets too bad, and his does stay there and does his time.
He goes to Nursery full time and at nursery he is a saint, they cant believe its the same child that im describing to them.
So is this normal 2 year old behavior and does it get any better, i tear myself apart thinking im a bad mum as im always shouting and stressing and saying no all the time, thank you letting me waffle...

This chimes with me, my son turns 3 in March and he is good as gold at nursery and seemingly when he's with his Dad but at home with me, he's impossible just lately, he refuses to let me change him, bath him, he throws his juice across the room, goes wild in public and won't hold my hand (we live in London near a busy road) he demands I carry himsuffer with an autoimmune disorder and yesterday I became so stressed my immune system packed up and I lay shivering with thick pajama's and a thick dressing gown under the duvet with a horrific sore throat today, I know this isn't help no you but at least we know we're not alone!

Sorry, pressed send by accident, should read, I suffer with an autoimmune...

I just keep thinking it's a stage, he'll grow out of it and is pushing boundaries with me....I don't know what else to do..

It's so hard isn't it I'm not a single mum anymore but being at home with him on his days of from nursery kill me.
I'm in bed now trying to have a nap!

Just try and get through it somehow I guess! Try and get a break if you can as well xx

@stillreadviz - 3 and he is still doing it :( when did he start?
its hard work isnt it. I work full time, i cook, clean, washing, do homework, bath times etc, its very tiring doing all that and having to manage an unruly 2 year old as well, i just feel like I yell all the time at the children, and i dont want an unhappy shouty home. some days are better and i am calmer but mostly i flip my lid very easily :(
I booked time off over Christmas to spend some quality time with them, i must of muttered for fuck sake under my breath loads of time, thank god for Gin :)

Lordd he isn't usually that bad, he's hard work sometimes getting him dressed and to bed, usual stuff but I'm wondering if he thinks HE runs this house, ie, always having CBeebies on if the telly is on, having me fetch and carry, refusing most food I make, refusing to tidy, I know he does it all nicely at nursery, it's clearly me 😟

Your the parent so put boundaries in place. He’s clearly capable of being a normal child when he’s in nursery, and kids are assholes at 2 anyway. But that seems extreme.

Limit screentime. He’ll eat what he’s given if he’s hungry. If he doesn’t want it, then he won’t eat it. If he doesn’t eat it, don’t make more food, no treats, no other snacks. He’s clearly not hungry. Follow through on punishments, if he throws his toys, take them from him. If he hits, don’t give him negative attention. Say NO in a stern voice, pick him up and leave him on the naughty step for two minutes. Once the two mins is up, punishment is over and you need to move on. If you have to take him to the naughty step ten times an hour, you do it. Don’t engage, don’t give out to him, don’t give him any attention.

You’re the parent. You lay the boundaries. He is not in charge. You are

@Fabaunt just wanted to return to this and say thanks, I think I needed to be told this, I've taken what you said and am making changes

You are doing a good job and you will be okay, but you’re the boss. Not the child. Good luck 💙💙

My 18 month old is a total nightmare too at times. It's exhausting!

Do you think that maybe he is reacting to the change in the home? You mention you are newly a single parent, so perhaps he is feeling vulnerable and insecure as he is anxious you may leave him too? He is so little he can't articulate what he is feeling so instead maybe he lashes out and misbehaves for attention.

I never thought about that actually @itshappened.
i was more focused on my 7 year as i didnt think the baby would know what was going on, maybe he does. I think i just need to be more patient with him, as when i lose it too, it just makes the situation 10 times worse :(