Relationship break down and finding it hard to do parent.

[zestylemonbel]

I've just come out of an on/off six year relationship, with my now ex partner. We've had a rocky road from start to finish.
He'd forever be seeing other women, messaging other women, going out all weekend and not tell me where he was going and turn up Sunday evening and not want to talk about anything and try and carry on like everything was normal. He'd spend his evenings sat on twitter or whatever he was doing, he smoked weed and would be dead to the world come 7/8pm after spending an hour in the bath.... and what made it worse was that we have a beautiful baby girl together who is now 15 months old. I also have a 7 year old from a previous relationship.
Anyway push came to shove and I had just had enough. I was forever running around making sure he had what he wanted, coffee in bed before work every morning, a bath run for when he got home and a home cooked meal. Made sure our home was clean and tidy and the children unfortunately came second when he was around. Which I just feel terrible for. He was so negative towards me all the time and I now suffer from terrible anxiety. He would reflect his own behaviour onto me. If he was cheating.... I must be too etc etc. It was exhausting and he was mentally controlling. I could go into it more but I want my daughter to still have a relationship with her dad....
He still refuses to go on her birth certificate, and if he comes to see her since we've spilt up which has been about 3 Times since he's left, he'll spend 45 min maximum at the house. He's asked to have her over night but I said he needs to build himself up to that, and be consistent and have routine and structure for her. I suggested for him to have her every Sunday 12-4 and if he can keep up with that, then I would have no problem out daughter staying with him over night because she would know who he was for a start and I would be comfortable knowing he can actually cope with her.... but I've been called spiteful and he's now blocked me and will not speak to me.... do I just give up? I don't personally think I've not been unreasonable??

I’d give up to be honest your child deserves better

I know she does. It's just heartbreaking, she is such an amazing little character and he's just so selfish to see that he could actually have a good relationship with his own daughter. He's in his mid 30s... you'd think that spending frequent nights down the pub and having meaningless nights with women would have been squashed by now for the family unit he says he has always wanted.... I do just feel like such a fool and am so worried what I say to her when she starts asking questions. My eldest daughter has a good relationship with her dad and his side of the family, as it should be, but when my eldest goes for the weekend.... surely my youngest is going to wonder where her father is. It really does break my heart.

You’ll never change him, and he’s not reliable. I’d stop trying to have him involved and he may grow up and try initiate contact himself when he stops being such a man child. Also, apply for maintenance

Yes I think you are right. It is time to give up, at least I can say I tried to make him have a relationship with her.
I don't even know where to start with maintenance. He refused and still refuses to go on her birth certificate so I have no legal proof he is infact her father. Which is maybe why he has done that?

It sounds like she is better off without him.

Don’t forget to sort out child maintenance.

You don’t need to have proof that he is her father to apply for child maintenance.

She didn’t conceive herself, If he disputes paternity the court can order a dna test. Don’t worry about that. If he won’t be a positive role model in her life the least he can do is contribute financially

Thank you. Do you know what the first steps would be for me to take? I also only vaguely know where he lives, the only address I could give would be his mothers.

www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/how-to-apply

Thanks jackshouse :)
Really appreciate it