Emetophobic mum - feeling lost in herself and pressure to have another baby :(

[Emetomum]

Hi :)
I'm a 32 year old mum of one 17month old gorgeous girl.
I'm also an emetophobic mum - which in itself is a miracle that I have a baby with the phobia - I never thought I would be able to have children because of the phobia I live with everyday.
If you haven't heard of Emetophobia - in short it's a phobia of Vomit and/or Vomiting .
It's not just "oh I don't like being sick" - it's an intense irrational fear - in my case vomiting myself is my biggest fear and I literally will do anything to avoid it - it runs and ruins my life !
Anyway .... I had my gorgeous girl knowing how hard it would be - and it really was - the pregnancy, the Labour , the birth etc I avoided vomiting through the whole thing.
Fast forward to parenting my child - I am basically a wreck every day getting through illnesses, possible exposures to ill children, taking her places, waiting for illness to come when there's an outbreak ..... you get the picture - it's something I have to deal with every day.

So my little girl is now at the age where people are asking me when number 2 will
Come along ......... I literally cannot think of anything worse for me !
I can't even deal with one child potentially being ill and giving it to me - I do everything I can to keep her well and when she's not well I can't deal with it and it breaks my heart .
I would love to give her a sibling - me and my sister are so close and it would be nice for her- but I think I would have a break down if I had to deal with keeping two children well - it already runs my life.
It's so sad and I hate that this phobia prevents me from looking after my baby girl and from doing things I would love to be able to do.
Are there any other emetophobic parents on here and how do you cope?
I've had cbt, hypnotherapy, medications, started the thrive program - I just need the answer :( xxx

Look if you can’t cope with it then don’t do it. It absolutely sucks that a phobia has so much control over you however it is what it is, it’s part of you and if you cannot put yourself through that again, you don’t owe any explanation to anyone else

Agree. It's a form of mental illness. If you can't do it, don't do it. Why should you have to put yourself through that.

However, and you can completely ignore this, but what CBT have you had? Many years ago I have CBT at my GP surgery and it was a joke. I have also had extensive one to one CBT at a mental health unit and it was life saving. My Trust also runs all day and week long intensive courses which I've heard are excellent, particularly in dealing with things such at Emetophobia. This might be a route you may have already travelled or might want to investigate, though all Trusts are different in what they offer.

I did an all day contamination course, which included vomit, it didn't cure my Emetophobia, but it did improve it massively, and it hasn't slid back. My awesome dp will do all vomit duties if he is here, but if he isn't I can cope. Whereas before I really couldn't.

Please don't have a child you don't want because people ask when you're having number 2. It's your life and your body. Take control.

I was emetephobic, now I still dread it but the severity of my fear has lessened substantially.

I used to have a visceral reaction to the thought of being sick or if I had nausea. I would be pacing and then feel faint and panic and resist vomiting. I was an obsessive handwasher and avoided touching surfaces in public.

The turning point for me was an illness where I vomited for five days. By day five I was no longer panicking as I was so knackered! And without the panic I would allow myself to just get on with it and vomit. When I stopped resisting, vomiting actually became easier because I wasn't as tense. I suppose it was unintentional exposure therapy.

Now I still fear catching sick bugs and I have found it difficult to let go of that fear to let DD go to softplay etc. But I've had stern words with myself that I can't inhibit DD's life due to my fear of her picking up bugs.

She recently started nursery and at the age of 18m caught her first ever bug. The reality of dealing with it was far less daunting than I'd imagined. Instinct kicked in and rather than running away from the vomit like I would usually I was cuddling DD while she puked.

My advice would be to get on with things. If you avoid germs while your DC is a toddler they will get every bug going when they start school, so you're only delaying a much needed building up of your DC's immune system.

If you can't put your phobia in the backseat to enable your DC to enjoy normal toddler activity then I think you're right to question having another child.

I had emetephobia. First pregnancy I was hospitalised with hyperemesis and had a baby with reflux which meant he vomited after every meal until he was 1 and gradually reduced until it stopped around 2. Cured it. I still get anxious when I feel sick and if I suspect I'm getting a bug I don't eat for 24 hours in case I'm going to be sick but I'm fine dealing with my kids vomiting.