dd2 and toddler! Anxious mess!

[redrobin123]

Hi!

Sorry if there's already a post like this but looking for some help.

DD2 is due first week of April, DD1 will be 2y3months and oh my god I have the worst anxiety ever.

I'm still breastfeeding DD1 (have tried unsuccessfully to wean). DD1 is currently at nursery 2 days a week (which she absolutely hates) and with her grandparents one day. I work 3 days.

I don't want to send her to nursery when the new baby arrives because she is so upset about going in, the thought of dragging her to nursery screaming whilst I go home and stay with her sister all day is making me feel terrible.

She's such a home bird and just wants to be with me and dh all the time (she is fine with grandparents).

I'm just so worried about how she's going to adapt when the new baby comes, she's been so used to having all of our attention.

I've been talking to her about her baby sister and she's been kissing my tummy and asking when baby sister is coming, it's her birthday next week and we've bought her a doll and changing a baby cot etc to try teach her about babies. Going to get her a present off the baby when it arrives too and try and involve her as much as possible in changing nappies etc (lucky her).

My anxiety is just through the roof though. I'm so worried I'm going to turn her little life upside down and she's going to be completely miserable and hate us for it.

Sorry for long post but can anyone give me any advice on how they've dealt with it and how their toddlers have reacted? Any tips on making it easier for DD1?

I've not even started thinking properly about what it's going to be like for DD1 yet! Feel like such a crap mum.

Xxx

I’m going through this right now! 2 DDs - a 5 week old and an almost 2 yr old. It’s hard to be perfectly honest. My older DD has struggled with the baby crying and I find it hard that I can’t always respond to my eldest’s needs straight away. Acknowledging to myself that I’m finding it hard because it is hard has helped!

Good news is that 5 weeks in my older dd is starting to adapt well.

Get as much help as you can. If grandparents can be over at yours a lot at first that will help a lot as there will be someone to help with your toddler. I’m lucky as DH here a lot.

Try and stick to your DDs routine as much as possible also.

I’m in the thick of this right now so hopefully others will be along soon with more advice!

Thanks lovely!

Yeah have got dh off for 3 weeks then asked DMIL to stay for a week and my parents are round the corner so hopefully get lots of help!!

Good advice on accepting the hardness! Ha!

Hope you're doing good!! Xxx

Really perseveres with weaning your toddler, so there’s a gap for you both (for you to recover and for toddler to not associate new baby with no milk/comfort)

We have a three year gap and I was worried too but they get on like a house on fire. My 4 year old fell in love with her sister as soon as they met. That’s not to say that eldest played up a bit, it was an adjustment. Soon your toddler won’t know life any different.

Honestly it’s totally fine. Keep the day with the grandparents for consistency and to give you a break.

You’ll be fine, and they’ll be hard days but then you see them play together and it’s the best (mine are 4 and 1)

Also I’m jealous that your baby is due in April- think of all the lovely days in the park/fresh air. Both my daughters were born in September/Oct so spent my mat leave trying to get fresh air but not letting my nipples fall off Bf in the cold