I have a 2.4 DD and a 6 week old DD2 naturally it is hard day to day. However the last 6 weeks my husband and I have been managing with the two well as he's been on paternity leave. There are times that i have found it difficult in terms of juggling the two having a toddler who requires a lot of attention, she is well mannered and overall good but she's still his high-energy and sometimes I just feel exhausted. Having a newborn is another level completely with a toddler.
Just some context, my mother-in-law used to look after my 2-year-old when I was at work for about a year for 3 days a week. I would say about 50% of the time I struggled with it a great deal as my MIL is very overbearing and does not listen when I give instructions in regards to DD1..she would do her own thing. This created a lot of tension and difficult conversation between my husband and I who often would go in her favour because obviously she's his mum and he always thinks that she has the children's best interests at heart. He also talked about her experience as professional nanny and seeing me as a first time mum- I may not know much.
I found it a very draining and now my husband will be returning back to work soon and he is asked me what kind of help I need and has said that MIL can come in during the day. I know I shouldn't but I internally cringe because I just don't want any more drama I don't want to not be listening to I don't want to be rude and I don't want her doing things around the house I don't appreciate or need.
She uses our house as s storage facility for her old tat. I've said repeatedly that we don't have much space for extra things lying around and the clutter makes me annoyed but she still brings it anyway saying we have more space than her. We have been implementing discipline for the toddler but she goes against that and tries to dismiss our efforts when are toddler is acting up.
I've explained this to my husband and he says sometimes you have to take the good with the bad and if she's offering help just grin and bear it - but I find an affair. This is my home and a lot of the time I kind of just sit up stairs waiting for the time to go when she eventually leaves which sounds horrible but it's just so overwhelming and annoying.
I am in a position where I have a DD1 and a DD2 and a few hours out of the day would probably be helpful but what do I do?? accept the help, grin and bear it.
It does help that my two year old goes to nursery 2 days a week so it's really just those 3 days.
Just wondered if anyone has been through anything similar or has any advice.
Thanks x