Age gaps

[IDontCareRightNow]

I have one child who will be two in April and then I am getting married in May. I would love another baby but not sure what gap I should leave between the two of them?
My logic is thinking have another after the wedding and then they will be close in age and grow up close together but then I'm thinking having a nearly three year old and a baby - that's going to be hard work
What age gaps did you leave between your children?

Anecdotally 2 to 3 years seem to be the most common age gap. My kids are school aged and I know lots of families who have the same aged kids as me.

Whatever age gap you have will have positives and negatives and the way it works for you will very much depend on the personalities of your children, so may be very different to how it works for others

I have a 2y gap and a 4y gap between mine. The 2y gap was lovely in terms of doing lots of ‘little people’ stuff with them together - farm trips and soft play and painting etc. Now they fight like cat and dog...

The 4y gap was great for giving each kid a bit more space to be little and the centre of attention. It is not great for balancing their needs in terms of entertainment and attention, and the baby’s spent most of his life being dragged around school runs etc after the big kids.

Each new baby was hard work!

In the end there’s going to be a lot of chance involved in what you end up with whatever you plan so best to not grow too attached to the idea of any particular gap and just decide when to ttc when it’s most right for you in terms of work, age, health, stuff going on etc. then appreciate the best bits of
what you end up with!

Congrats on your upcoming wedding

My DS will be 2 in March. I'm thinking about TTC in the summer so if I get pregnant quickly the age gap will be just over 3 years.

We have friends with similar age gaps.

5 years almost exactly between our 2 and it’s been wonderful. It was very much planned that way as we wanted to get out of the toddler phase, have some time to ourselves before another baby came along and we wanted to hit some milestones career wise. Financially it was also easier as we didn’t have to pay for nursery while I was on mat leave (she loved it and I wouldn’t have taken her out altogether) nor two in nursery, which is very expensive. Everyone I know with small age gaps has struggled a lot more, but really just depends on how much of a rush you’re in. I would just give some thought to finances before you decide, especially if you plan to go back to work. Having my older one in school and time alone with baby has been perfect though.

We have about a 2 year gap and they have always got on.

Even now they are best friends.

I had my first two 15 months apart then DC2&3 14 months apart so three in 2.5 years. DC4 is ten weeks old, was born six years after DC3. I’ve found DC4 the easiest of the bunch but I do think the only reason he’s slotted into the family so easily is because my DC have never known life without siblings. I had a six year age gap with my Dbro and heavily resented him whereas my DC adore DC4.

I think looking back a 2-4 year age gap is most ideal.

We'll have a 14/15 month age gap, when DD2 is born in March. 😬