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Original poster

Am I doing this wrong? Sleep

9 replies

Spanglyprincess1 · 04/01/2019 21:19

Ds is 6 MTHS and struggling with his sleep for last month now. Used to sleep 12 hours but now is awake every three or so.
Getting him down to sleep is hard, normally involves the pushchair or feeding to sleep. If dp has him he screams this blood curdling scream as dp just holds him in n his lap, won't walk with him or push the pushchair and plays on phone and rocks him while he screams. It upsets me due to the volume and he seems distressed so I try to take him back.
Dp said tonight he's manipulating me (baby) and I'm being riddiuclius and making a rod for my back as he needs to earn to sleep for others. He says I can't really go abck to work if D's keeps being like this and I need to stop fussing as he will be an awful toddler else.
It's my first baby but he has other children. Am I in the wrong? I'm worrying as he's so upset and I hate it, but I also know I can fuss over very him

OP posts:
Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 04/01/2019 21:20

He can scream for up the half an hour like that with dp which doesn't seem right.

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 04/01/2019 21:25

Ok first off, a six month old is not capable of manipulating anybody, how ridiculous for your dp to even suggest that. I'd recommend him to do some research on baby and toddler development.

Secondly, it's not unusual for babies to go through periods of waking up often and needing help to settle back down. Do you use a dummy? Have you tried gradual retreat? Do whatever works for you and worry about self soothing when he's a bit older. He's still only very young and going through a lot of developmental changes.

Sleep or lack of is the worst bit of parenthood for me, I know how you feel.

Sparky888 · 04/01/2019 21:29

Personally, I think my babies needed a routine which we stuck to, so they knew when it was bedtime, in the dark in their room. We didn’t do holding to sleep etc. I used the book sensational baby sleep plan. Once they slept through, if they woke then I checked their nappy, then put them in cot and patted & sushed them. They seemed to get bored and go back to sleep. If it was after 5.30am we got up. When mine are really over tired they scream and cry. When you’re tired everything seems so much worse. It’s not fair to say you can’t go back to work, but it sounds like you need to find a plan or method/routine that you agree on xx

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Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 04/01/2019 21:30

He is ebf for milk so rejects a dummy, we ahve tried but no. What's gradual retreat?
Baby is okay and I can soothe him off by feeding, rocking or walking with him but dp thinks I'm being riddiuclius not letting him scream himself to sleep on him. It feels wrong for baby to be that upset when trying to sleep.
I said to dp he is very young but he thinks he isn't

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tryinganewname · 04/01/2019 21:32

He wouldn't be my "D"P anymore if that's how he treated our DD.

She's also 6 months and only really settles for me, which she is good at, but she's 6 months - she doesn't manipulate and you're not making a 'rod for your own back'.

Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 04/01/2019 21:33

We have a routine ish, baby wakes around nine am and has milk then solids at ten then a nap around 11.30 until 12 (he didn't nap in day we'll) then solids for lunch and then milk around 3 before a nap then solids for tea at 5 , bath at 6 and story and sleeping bag then milk.
It was working really well until a month ago and then bam no sleep screaming and won't settle. I think it's his teeth tbh poor thing.
I'm not sure what else to do. He will ahve his own room in a few week when we move house so I hope that will help

OP posts:
EmmaJR1 · 04/01/2019 21:55

My dad is 6.5months and is always hugged/rocked/fed to sleep. She sleeps 7-7 normally. Has 2/3 naps a day (on me).

However... the last 3.5 weeks have been fucking awful!!!! 2/3 wake ups a night, not wanting anything other than contact or playtime.

Babies have different stages sometimes things are peachy sometimes you wonder why the hell you had a kid!

What is real though is research that has been conducted on the effects on the brain of young babies that are left to cry.

They are only little for such a short time, your "d"p sounds like a bit of a knob!

TwinkleMerrick · 04/01/2019 22:13

7 month DD here, was a great sleeper 6:30 bath 7pm milk and off to sleep. Now she screams until 10pm! Currently sitting on my bed with her finally asleep and too scared to move Shock babies can't manipulate, that's a load of crap! But I think they have a growth spurt around 5 and then 7 months. Also my girl has just cut her first 2 teeth which has been awful! On top of that she is starting to crawl, I think all these new skills mess with their sleep. Anyway someone on here told me to try the book 'teach your baby to sleep' so I'm going to get that and give it a go. Apparently lots of good advice on gentle sleep training. Perhaps if you get it and show your DP he will be a bit more understanding and supportive. My DP left me recently, bonus is I can have DD in bed with me because I don't have to worry about a stupid man wanting attention Grin not that I'm bitter at all haha good luck xx

TinyBearCub · 05/01/2019 09:59

No you're not doing it wrong. Lot's of them have a setback with sleep at this age - DD and all of her little friends have. I've got DD's cot up against our bed with no side on so I can partially join her when she needs it and we've gone back to feeding/cuddling to sleep, whatever she needs basically. She's starting to grow put of it again now with no particular 'training' from us.
Your partner doesn't sound very nice to be honest.

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