Terrible eating and sleeping with my 14month old

[Honeyjo87]

Hi,
My dd is 14 month old. She is very active always playing, singing n dancing..she is very picky eater.. all she eats is Cheerios n little bit of pasta..if I try to give anything else she just spit it out.. she loves her milk.. she have 50 ml cows milk with her breakfast, which is Cheerios on its own n milk. Then before her nap she have 120ml of her formula milk. She wouldnt eat any veggies or protein.. I try n blend n mix with pasta.. but that’s only little she eats.. night time she wakes twice to have some milk n go back to sleep.. putting her to bed is another thing. I tried the cry out n other methods but she just cry n cry n would get to a stage she wouldn’t calm down for hours, so we gave up as it’s getting too much for both myself n my hubby.. now we both have to hold her n walk around the room to get her to sleep.. I love doing that coz it’s the only time she will be in my arms with no complains, the rest of the time she only wants her dada.. her eating n less sleep are worrying me as I think it will affect her nutrition and development.. does anyone have any ideas or tips? We both hate seeing her cry as Both myself n my hubby grew up in domestic violence n no support from parents families, so we hate to see our daughter cry n wanted to give the best for her.. please someone help..I’m just worried n I suffer from pnd, so nothing is helping.

I’m so sorry that you are suffering from PND Honey. Are you getting any support for that?

I think I might be able to help you with eating and sleep. You sound as though you may prefer some gentle methods to help you all. Have a read of Get your baby to sleep by Ask Dr Sears. That should help you in the short term

Sleep - I have a 14 month old and I still feed her sleep and my husband holds her to sleep. She goes off to sleep without tears in a short period of time. We’re both happy and don’t see it as a problem. She wakes once or twice a night for a feed generally. I’d love it if she slept through but compared with others i know it’s fairly decent - could be better but definitely not unusual and could be a lot worse. I see posts on here of children up every hour etc or up for the day at 5am. In terms of getting to sleep if you’re happy rocking to sleep, and it sounds like you are, where’s the problem? if your wee one is going to sleep happily cuddled up and you say you enjoying that time then isn’t that a pretty nice set up? I think books and sleep coaches etc make us feel we’re going wrong if our little vulnerable humans want comfort and don’t sleep 12 hours in one go when actually it’s normal (and fairly understandable).

Food - I agree this does sound stressful.It’s really horrible when your kid isn’t eating a lot either in quantity or range and that is well, extremely limited. Have you spoken to HV about it? Are you regularly trying new things or has she ground you down to only offering what you know she’ll eat? I give my daughter same food as me so even if she refused it, it was never as soul destroying as a meal just for her, as at least one of us was eating it. I try not to make a fuss if she doesn’t eat it, I eat the same food at same time, take food off my plate for her, let her feed me it etc. I did blw so no spoon feeding - Do you let her feed herself, play with it, make a mess? Apparently that’s a good step if they’re not eating it, just getting them to engage. They can pick up anything with their hands - thick set plain yoghurt, thick porridge, scrambled eggs. Have you tried pancakes, eggy bread, sugar free baked beans? Thick cheesy risotto, Homemade rice pudding and low/sugar free crumbles? Strips of pears fried in butter with some cinnamon? Baked sweet potato wedges with cinnamon? Whizz up fruit and freeze it into ice lollies? Strawberries soaked in double cream? I’ve never seen a baby yet refuse blueberries?! I’m no expert obviously it’s just things I can think of to help, you’re probably like yes I’ve done all that!

Sorry, I posted too soon!

It sounds as though she’s reverse cycling and needs encouragement to take the calories as food in the day rather than formula at night.

I’d start start by ditching the formula and swapping her over to full fat cow’s milk. There’s really no need right formula once she’s reached 12 months. If she refuses the cow’s milk, you an always swap her over a floz at a time. So if she has 5floz of formula, make 4 and add one floz of cow’s milk and just keep increasing the cow’s milk an ounce at a time

thank you for your kind response JiltedJohnsJulie.

I did spoke to my GP with regards to this and they were saying about doing yoga and try the tablets.. I work fulltime, so i dont get a chance to do any yoga.. my husband is amazing with baby, but dont really know how to deal with my mood changes n emotions... he was never been good with dealing with me when im upset. our Health visitor who was an amazing lady, but i only saw her once and she got changed...

i just feel like a failure when my baby doesnt eat or sleep.. n my mum always make me feel like i should be doing more, like force feed the baby, like she did with us. I understand that you cannot do that to a toddler, so i dont agree with that type of feeding. im just worried sick now..

I will look at the link. Many thanks.

My daughter mainly breastfeeds but has some cows milk during the day, she eats a lot but still likes to bf a fair bit but that’s a mix of comfort etc which I’m happy to give but it you’re giving formula (is that typical after a year?) and cows milk then you could cut it down a bit so she’s hungrier? Even if you replace it with plain yoghurt or cheese at first so she feels happier with it being familiar to milk, you might feel better as it’s a bit of progress? I take it you've tweaked times so it’s food before milk and a good gap so she’s hungry?

Thissameearth. Thank you for your response.

Yes sleeping bit i do love it holding her, but some times she wants me to hold her and walk for a long time. before she used to go to sleep between 7 & 8pm. Now her times differs. There is a routine we keep before bed. 6:15 pm- bath time, then bottle, read and then walking her to sleep. Now its like after bath, she needs bottle, then she wants to play for long time, in that time she gets over tired and then cry like anything. she cries when im holding her and walking, n then when i put her down she wants me to hold her n she cry for that. thats the bit i meant difficult. sometimes she plays till its 9-10 and she gets really really tired, n then cry a lot. thats were it frustrates us.

Eating yes, i have tired everything... she eats same food as i do. i always try and eat with her the same food.. she used to love rice and Ghee, then rice soup with lentils. Chapathi with peanut butter etc etc.. n yes, i make her feed herself by hand as well as i feed her in between... its just since last week shes off the food... she only eats cheerios and a bit of banana.. she has always been a small baby n would eat much, but it scares me to think if she is having enough? thats the worry.

Sorry again, my iPad is playing up so it seems to want me to do multiple short posts instead of one huge one.

Is she getting a vitamin each day?

Also, are you making sure she’s hungry for the food in the day? I’d get her outside at least once as day as daylight has been proved to help with sleep. Do she do anything like swimming, going to the park, gymtots or playgroups? All of these should help her appetite

I agree with Thissame. Rocking to sleep and waking once or twice isn’t the end of the world but If you do want to night wean, look up Dr Jay Gordon’s night Weaning method. It mentions BFing a lot but works just as we’ll if you are bottle feeding. You might like the book the No Cry Sleep Solution too

I also agree with getting her to eat what you are having. One of favourite weekend breakfasts is blueberry pancakes, I bet she’d love to try something like that

Thissameearth.. baby was formula fed as i couldnt breastfeed due to health issues... I give cows milk with her breakfast (only after she has eaten or she shows shes had enough) Then she have her formula before her nap. Then again formula before her bed time, the twice during night time.

Now its like after bath, she needs bottle, then she wants to play for long time, in that time she gets over tired and then cry like anything. Have you tried swapping it around so she has bath, then books, bottle then bed?

How long is she napping for in the day?

If she’s only just started refusing food, is she teething? What do you do if she refuses to eat something?

JiltedJohnsJulie

I havent started multivitamins yet. we recently moved house and is awaiting for a HV to be allocated. i did asked the pharmacy and they said to ask our HV, so im waiting for it.

No, she havent been to any play groups yet. Like I said, we recently moved to a different area, so i need to find out a play were i can take her when im off work.

I have tried giving her banana pancakes and she just throws them without even looking at it... thats the case with anything i give her... she likes spicy food, so i make spicy food at home..

JiltedJohnsJulie.

I tried to read book before bottle, but she cries for bottle as soon as i dress her for bed..

She have 1 nap a day for 1-2 hours..

Teething- She only started to have her tooth since last month and she already got 5. I did think it might be teething. When she refuse one food, i try and give something different, or wait for some more time to try again.

Just letting you know I have a 14mo who needs rocking to sleep and is still fed twice in the night. It’s very normal for some babies this age. Don’t worry, your baby will sleep better eventually. Enjoy your baby

Alsoajourno

Thank you... Makes me feel better to know its not just me.. :)

OP sorry I was not in any way asking you why you Formula fed (entirely up to you!) I just meant is it normal to continue with formula after a year rather than switch to cows milk. I have given my daughter vitamins since birth on HV advice, vitamin d only at first then combined ones around 6 months you can buy the nhs ones.

www.superdrug.com/Hello/Healthy-Start-Children's-Vitamin-Drops-10ml/p/471403

I think if you’re using formula then you’ll get the vitamins there already but if you’re switching or reducing their formula intake then yes give a vitamin.

Please don’t think you’re doing a rubbish job you’re not at all. Sleeping and eating are infamous things babies try to destroy us over 🙂

Also, from your last post, if it’s only been the last week she has restricted her intake to pasta and cereal and I see also a bit of banana then I wouldn’t worry yet, could just be bit ill, teething, bit off etc. If she’s taking banana then try avocado too? Good fats and calories.

Honey, I’ve had three kids and none have reliably slept until they were at least 2! Don’t worry so much, just try to cope with the wake ups quickly and rest as much as you can