Bloody holidays

[badassmc]

I work full time as a teacher, come the holidays I want to do things, but also I'm broke and with DS nearly 15 and DD just turned 8, there's never anything I can do to please them both! Plus it's winter so our trips to the park don't last long with the cold/rain etc. DS tbf has been to see friends, but the guilt I feel over DD. DH has had to work this year due to other people being off so Most days have been maybe a walk, a bit of art stuff, movies and me doing the piles of housework that I ignore while working 😂 I've now deleted Instagram and Facebook because I follow so many mums who post pictures from all the activities and holidays they do. I have in the past invited her friends over, taken them out etc. but it's never ever reciprocated and sometimes she's just left out, so I don't see why I should be putting myself out like that, but now it's nearly the end of the school holidays and it's just been blah. I've spoken to DS he says he likes hanging round the house, and DD moans lots when I ask her to get dressed, this makes me feel a bit better, but then I worry it's because I've given them these bad habits.

Am I over reacting? Does anyone else feel the same?

Hi badassmc.,
I understand where you are coming from. I have 7 year gap between my eldest two dcs but my eldest is a couple of years younger than your eldest and this Summer I will have a one year old in the mix too. I stress about this, particularly the Summer hols. Swimming I find is a good one...but for me it only works if I have dh with me because my middle dc has only just learnt to swim and now of course there is baby. Eldest has also sat through junior cinema screenings, I find this is another successful thing also. I have dragged eldest to the park (which she actually finds okay once she is there) and pre-empted the fact that she is best taking paints/books etc in the Summer (has a friend who would enjoy the painting too so win/win). The park is a bit of a winner with my middle dc because she nearly always finds someone to play with there, plus she has made a couple of friends now so hopefully will have a bit of company in the hols, it is down to me to arrange play dates though and I think I have come to accept this. I totally understand the non-reciprocal thing, I have experienced this too with my eldest dc but in the end just figured I was doing it for my dc and looked at the end goal = company for dc. Also, we found we were dropped by several others with activities/going out and about when dc2 appeared on the scene and there was a toddler to accommodate. My eldest does go and see friends and I feel a bit guilty because there are other things that she would like to do which might be a struggle because of her younger siblings (but I'm going to try and work something out for her). When I only had one dc, we used to be out a lot - here, there and everywhere, nearly everyday but I have actually found that the dcs quite like low key days where we don't have to rush out the door and middle dc seems satisfied most of the time with the park. Dh has taken a bit of time off, one activity included ice skating but other than that it has been walks, art/craft/park, films. I have tried to accept that this is the way things are for the time being and I try not to get stressed about it (I am already bracing myself for the Summer and thinking up a plan of action though).

Facebook...watching others on trips/ski holidays, you name it, I am just grateful when dh takes time off work and we go to the local farm park etc. I guess it depends on age of children/finances etc, my younger two dc are not highly portable at the moment but this will change in time.

Sorry for the epic post...you can see that this is something I think about quite a bit!

Lavender; I can see you've thought about this as much as me 😂😂 I do go swimming however the errr... de fuzzing is something I dread that thanks very sensitive skin and getting horrible spots after 🙈
I find summer easier I think because it's such a long period so I can plan one or two simple things a week this Xmas though seems like it's been so short and by the time all the visiting etc had finished I was wiped. So were the kids, but I still feel guilty that they haven't done much this break

Weary that made me laugh 😂 😂 I'm glad to know there's hope in the future and I'm not the only one! Going to try my best to not agonise over it! My kids are loved, fed and listened to so they're doing well, they just also love YouTube and Netflix marathons and days where they don't get dressed, which I do too. I try to be the 'hands on mum' but it always makes a bloody big mess! 😂😂

Basassmc I find summer easier It's funny, I've heard a few parents in real life complain about the Christmas Holidays, along the lines of Roll on School on x. so I think it can be a difficult time in general for getting out and about.
I have been a bit bemused by this because it is the Summer Hols I find difficult. The main difference I think, is that apart from the obvious (it is much shorter), dh takes quite a bit of leave and so we are more mobile etc. get out and about more (we have no extended family/friends currently) to do activities with etc therefore it is a great help when dh is around and less isolating for me over Christmas.

Would I choose to hang around the park...probably not but I am grateful it is there because it is relatively on the doorstep (low hassle) fresh air and exercise for middle dc and there are usually other adults in the same boat with whom to strike up conversation. Things are going to get trickier soon re. the park with a soon to be toddler in the mix! So organising a few days out for older dcs in the week is a good idea, I think, if I can figure out the logistics! Usually, it is never as bad as I fear though, I'm going to try and be a bit more chilled out about it this year.

thanks very sensitive skin and getting horrible spots after

Slight derail. There are swimming costumes which go from mid-thigh (or even knee) all the way to the neck. They look quite sporty too, rather than frumpy, and give great coverage, e.g. <a class="break-all" href="https://www.speedo.com/uk/en/women/fitness#www.speedo.com/uk/en/women/fitness?prefn1=ProductType&prefv1=Legsuits" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">speedo legsuits.

Similar age gap to yours OP, my DD (from a previous relationship) is 15 and our other two dc are 5 and 7.

Winter holidays are the worse, especially if you have a large age gap ime. It was hard up until DD was about 12 as I use to have to drag DD to the park in the freezing cold when DC2&3 were little or the soft play, hard to take her to the cinema when they were so young, long walks were a total PITA with two young children.

DH and I work shifts so its rare two of us are at home. It's got to the point where I organise babysitting for DC2&3 so I can take DD out for the stuff she wants to do.

At least now DD can sit out the stuff I do with the younger two if she wants.

Hi March, Yes, it is easier when your eldest dc gets to about that at 12 (dd1 will be 13 by the time the Summer Hols arrive). I can't legally leave dd1 alone even though she is very responsible and it is really difficult to appease everyone unfortunately so it is a relief when she hangs out with friends (we drop her off and pick her up), I feel less guilt because I am having to give attention to my younger dcs. DD1 would spend the majority of her time in front of a screen given the opportunity and although some screen time is okay, I'd rather get out and about from time to time even if it is for a short walk; we live semi-rurally so have a few options for walks and use an adult sized scooter to transport dc2 when they get tired, this has been a bit of life-saver in terms of the walking thing because both dc1 and dc2 can fit on it with dc1 powering it.