Talk to me about 2 v 3 or more children.

[Zoeox]

I'm currently trying to way up the pros and cons of having another child.
I always wanted at least 2, I currently have 2 my OH feels done but I can't help but want another. However I'm worried about financial impact, my current 2 and how they would be and if they would loose out on the things they do?
Looking for thoughts from those with 2 and those with 3 or more.

Not looking for judgemental comments. I'm very blessed to have my two I appreciate that.

Only have one, so can’t offer direct experience, but thought I’d like to bump your thread . I’ve been having these thoughts about whether to have a second, so here are some things I’ve been thinking about.

It probably depends on your exact financial situation e.g. do you work? If so, is your wage a significant part of of your household income? If so, the time off work for a third one presumably would have an impact on your other two.

How old are the two you have? A large gap would mean they could learn a lot from a younger sibling and also don’t need so much of your attention. A small gap means they might not put so much thought into it and therefore not feel jealous and they might all be playmates for each other. How do your current two get on, and what are their temperaments? Would they be likely to feel jealous?

(I’ll be listening with interest to replies from others with experience. A part of me would absolutely love 3, part of me is terrified by the financial implications as DD has been far more expensive than I’d anticipated in terms of lost earnings)

We love having 3. But yes it's more expensive. Bigger car, having to buy bunk-beds / extend or move. However. We love the dynamics. We both feel done now 100%. No niggles about 'what ifs'.

We have 3 boys, the biggest pain is holidays, flights & hotels can get costly so tend to do self catering in France.
Bit more restrictive on car, lots say they are 5 seaters but then put a great big transmission tunnel reducing leg room for the middle person.

I guess it mainly comes down to finance.
I didn’t want any of them to share a bedroom and I didn’t want any of them to miss out on school holidays and activities.

I found its relentless constraints on mine time (our choice), 3 boys each doing multiple different hobbies means we have something more or less every day.
I wouldn’t change but I wouldn’t have any more.

Ahhh yes. Ditto the holiday thing.

I found having 3 a bit of a pain when booking hotel rooms but not enough to put me off having number 4 😔

Oops wrong emoji 😂😂

We always thought 3 was our magic number, but after DS (2nd child) I realised that what I wanted was another pregnancy and newborn - I didn't particularly want to do potty teaining/tantrums/baby proofing three times, I didn't particularly want to have children or teenagers three times.

So our #3 was quite a surprise! She is 11mo now, and I am absolutely, utterly over any broodiness or 'what if' that was left in me. I'm emotionally exhausted. I have to be ultra strict to ensure the older two don't descend into Lord of the Flies, and that's draining. I'm worried about finances - DD1 has always done some sort of club, from baby classes for me to meet other parents to gymnastics now, but so far we've been unable to afford the same for DS. I have no idea if we'll ever afford it for DD2. I think about the emotional support they're going to need in the future and I already feel like I'm stretched too thin so I have no idea how I'll manage when their emotional needs are more intense.

Financially, it's not just an extra person - it's the bigger car and house. An extra set of childcare fees. Holidays are impossible in a single hotel room - we're either looking at suite-type arrangement for megabucks, or self catering (and let's face it, that's the same shit in a different location).

Logistically it's more complicated. Older 2 need taking to school, while dd2's nursery is in the opposite direction - it's a 2-person job. IF we ever get ds (and dd2 later on) sorted with clubs of their own, we'd better hope that they don't clash!

Having said all that, I can already see how much they adore each other. Once ds grows through his obnoxious 4yo phase, and dd2 is old enough to get involved, they are going to have so much fun together. I am so looking forward to being out of the baby stages finally, when they can really start to function together. It's not all bad, but it's bloody hard work at the moment.

See this is the side I'm not sure on. My two are demanding in their own ways, I think it's a pregnancy/newborn I crave most. Ds is needing help emotionally, and with his school work. He's very much a boys boy and he does 4 clubs with matches on Sundays too. Then dd is very clingy to me, like VERY. She has clubs twice a week and starts reception in September so more homework to add to it all. Plus, currently they have their own rooms but end up sleeping together so we are going to put them in a room together. Currently we are unable to move although we hope to and if we have another will that put a delay on that?
I'm studying a degree too so need time for that, currently I only work part time around them and financially we could do with me being full time again.

We have three (including my DD from a previous relationship, that has a pretty absent father). I would have been happy with one more but my DH wanted two children (which I was not against) of his own so DS1 and DS2 arrived.

I love all three of my children, however the one on one time with each child decreases the more you have. I often feel guilty as DD (15) is 10 years older than DS2 which makes things slightly difficult, a lot of my time has been consumed by the boys who have needed my attention through general day to day stuff that young children bring (help with homework, dressing them etc) and now ferrying to and from activities.

It is expensive, now both boys have started primary school (uniforms x3, activities that cost ££) especially when you add a teenager to the mix who demands expensive gadgets, branded clothes and school trips that cost £££.

Also bedroom space, DS1 and DS2 currently share which is okay (they are only 5 & 7) but does bring arguments.

Also me time! Extremely lucky that DD is a great child and does babysitting for us so DH and I can have the odd night out. And both boys are in bed by 8pm most nights so we have a couple of hours to chill and DD generally does her own thing (homework etc).

We are also lucky that both DH and I work shifts so generally one of us is around for school pick ups and DD sometimes offers to pick them up if we are both working (we never ask though).