Ex criticising my parenting.

[user1485859001]

My ex has out LG today and has just messaged me asking how she has a bruise on her arm and leg. Iv only seen a bruise on her leg this morning and not actually sure how she got it. She hasn't hurt herself to my knowledge other than walking into a coffee table which may have caused it but she didn't cry.

Now I'm receiving messages asking how she got it. When I said I didn't no he asked why I wasn't concerned. Kids hurt themselves all the time.

She's never left alone with anyone I don't trust. She doesn't attend nursery. Iv told him if he has concerns then to report it to the police or social services.
I feel like he's always criticising me as a parent. Telling me it's a big deal. Im not one of these people who leave their kids alone or ate not bothered about there children. I'm sorry to rant he's just making me feel rubbish.

Is it a little bruise? My children always had these on their legs mainly when they were toddlers and a bit older as they were very clumsy and always playing super hard. They have much fewer now they're 6&10 but still get little bruises - it kid of depends on the size and colour I'd guess, little light bruises are one thing, large purple bruises are not acceptable unless it's an 'every now and then' type bruise

Kids get bruises. It's normal as they discover their abilities and limitations. He's being an idiot.

She is almost 3. It's a medium size bruise I'd say. She is a little clumsy and she runs around and doesn't look. She walked into a door the other day. I see her do it but it didn't don't leave a mark.

If I was concerned I'd be the first to report anything. Likewise he could.
He messaged me saying "even if she fell over it's shocking you aren't concerned".

Of course I'd be concerned if she hurt herself.

“He messaged me saying "even if she fell over it's shocking you aren't concerned"”

Reply: “No it isn’t. See you later.” Don’t enter into a conversation with him about it.

I would be surprised if a 3 year old didn’t have a bruise.

My 3 Yr old DD and even my 8yr old DD always have some kind of bruise or mark. The younger goes to nursery and is very adventurous and the older is very clumsy and will either walk into or fall over something most days (possible dyspraxia).

Think if I was concerned over every mark or bruise I found I'd be a constant wreck!

Kids get bruises, especially toddlers/preschoolers, ignore his messages or simply reply you'd be happy to talk about it in person another time

I've done safeguarding training and bruises on legs are perfectly normal. If your ex is going to undermine your parenting then he should do his research!!

He sounds like my ex - who is an utter idiot. We’ve been separated for over 5 years now and I still get abusive messages like this about my two children - as well as “you don’t feed them right” “you don’t dress them correctly” “you don’t deserve these children”. Etc. Awful!

It prob sounds very childish and I should just ignore him but it's so hard when someone is always putting you down. Him and he's family have always said what a great mum I am but every now and then I feel like he needs to give me a little dig.

Oh he also done the same as your ex telling me I wasn't feeding her the right sorts of food or questioning if I had bathed her or if I hadn't every day then why I hadn't.

When I first left my ex I used to cry a lot and he used to upset me a lot. Nowadays I’m much thicker skinned and I generally ignore it but occasionally it does upset me. Good luck OP.

My ex did this too.

I realise how scared I was when my child tripped over and put her teeth through her bottom lip and my first thought was my ex is going to be so cross with me!

He doesn't even see my children now. It's all about control.

Yes this is the same as me.
Im with her more often than he is so I'm not going to remember every little thing she does. I do try to ignore him but it's difficult. Especially as we're going to court for custody soon. He wants her 50:50 so he can pay someone else to look after her.

Anyway that's another story.

On reading the opening post I thought, well if he isn't with her full time, he has every right to ask what happened and maybe highlight it, if you maybe hadn't noticed it and it had happened that day or something, but then I read on. How ridiculous if he is taking this approach to co parenting.
Probably a lot easier aid then done, but try to just ignore him and keep on in the knowledge you are doing a good job with your DD. Good luck on the custody battle and keep strong for the both of you.

Thank you. Looking back on what I wrote doesn't give the whole story. I should have put some quotes at the beginning. Looking back at how he's reacted I suppose I should just be thankful that he does care about our DD so much. I'm not very good at explaining myself. I get in a bit of a tiz 🙈

Mine says the same about not bathing the kids. Ridiculous!

Ahh tell him to jog on. Little children get bruises constantly. DSD is 7 and still constantly getting small bruises. Most of the time she or we (and probably her Mum) have no idea how she got them. They just pick them up and are a lot clumsier than the average adult

He sounds like the male version of my DP's ex sometimes.

She's all "you're not bathing her enough, you're not brushing her teeth enough" (DSD brushes her teeth on her own without prompting in front of at least one of us twice a day) etc

Funny thing is they are good at criticising but they don't do better. My ex will comment about our LO hair, yet he will not brush it himself. He comments about her clothes yet he doesn't no how to dress her (I'm not bothered at all). He says the leggings I put her in were to small yet he gives me minimal maintenance and he earns a lot (self employed yet another story).
He won't buy her any clothes or help.
I mentioned she's very clingy at softplay and won't go off in her own. That I want to build her confidence. He just said "who's faults that". Because I moved out of the home we both own with our DD. I'm unable to put LO in nursery as we are living with my mum and I'm not sure where we will be living until our house is sold.

I feel awful as I'm not sure iv done the right thing. At the time I couldn't bear to be around him as I felt he was controlling and put me down. I thought it was better for everyone that we move. What could I do, he wouldn't move and I couldn't stay but now I do feel like Iv hurt our lo development.