How can i help my sensitive daughter thrive?

[MumMumMum1]

I was a really sensitive/shy kid. I can tell already my daughter, who’s 18 months has inherited this. She will cry at strangers, even when she sees people she knows (like gparents) she’ll hide for 5 minutes before finding the courage to come out. If she drops something & it makes a loud noise she’ll absolutely cry her eyes out like she’s done something really bad. She’s a lovely little soul who’s so gentle with our cat & her dolls. Lots of empathy & care already! The only thing I worry about is the fact I missed out on so much during my childhood/teen years because of my shyness & it wasn’t until I was an adult I learnt to embrace it. It was always a bad thing to have for me. How can I really encourage my DD to be exactly who she is & embrace her sensitives? How can I help her be confident in who she is? It seems like such a difficult thing for me to do, although I didn’t have the best role models. Any advice at all would be so appreciated. Thank you!

I’m a fellow sensitive soul and I fully embrace my sensitivity as an adult. To Be honest I resonate as an empath and it sound like you both could be to. I would have a look at Judith Orloff for information she had a book on it.

I wouldn’t honestly say for this age it’s reassuring her that it’s okay for her not to hide etc. But also not forcing her into a situation that may just not be natural for her, or that she may just not want to do. sometimes strangers/ or known family have to respect a child’s boundaries. It sounds like you’ll be all the help she’ll need!

Our girl was like this in terms of shyness around others. We didn’t do anything about it as young as 18 months other than coaxing/cuddles, but as her understanding increased we did try to combat it a bit. She became aware herself afterward events that she had often missed out- she had taken too long to warm up so the visit was cut short, or she wanted to join in with others just when we’d have to leave, and would often be properly gutted. We would talk about it a lot, and came up with the line ‘being shy stops us from having fun!’ - not at all as a rebuke, but as an encouragement/reminder when she was lacking confidence. We also started to enforce her to do simple things- if an adult spoke to her, she has to answer but only briefly and can then resume hiding/we will finish off for her. I don’t think these strategies would work for every child but she has come on leaps and bounds with it- she still has a shy instinct but can rationalise herself to get stuck in so much more easily, and it’s rare for her to need extra coaxing to reply to someone speaking to her.
I have a similarly shy wee boy, but he hasn’t made the connection between ‘missing out’ and being shy yet. I don’t think it would work if they haven’t, and it wouldn’t work if it distressed them to think about the phrase/having to talk to an adult. DD wasn’t distressed, just shy!

Thank you @BF888! It’s finding that balance isn’t it between encouragement but not forcing something that just isn’t natural for them. Tough balance! I agree I think I am (& she will be) an empath. I saw a quote whilst researching this topic: ‘sensitive children though need especially good role models because they are learning how to use their incredible gift in a world that sometimes doesn't value it's inherent worth.’ I just worry about her being over shadowed at school when confronted with the naturally more confident children. I know I was!

@Nighttimenope thank you for the advice! I agree she’s so young at the moment so all I do is reassure & not force her into anything. She has become a little better already (in terms of being actually physically scared of people) so I’m going to wait & see how she progresses herself for now. I am concerned about school age though... that’s when I feel the shyness will really be highlighted for her.

I was the same way. Empath/extremely sensitive. Had few friends growing up. I think just embrace her empathy, give her lots of love and reassurance. Be the mom you needed being a sensitive child. Children learn by example so whatever she sees you doing will encourage her to do the same.