12 WO Sleep Advice Please!

[drewby89]

Hi All,

Having some real trouble with our 12 wo boy in the night.

From 4-11 weeks he slept swaddled and would wake every 3-4 hours to feed, he is EBF. It often felt like he was waking because he broke out his swaddle, not because he was hungry. I think this because we could give him his dummy and he'd sleep for another hour or so.
However from 11 weeks he was waking up more regularly because he's breaking out his swaddle more, and becoming harder to swaddle due to strong wriggly arms!

We've tried to move to sleeping unswaddled by using a sleeping bag, the first night seemed OK, waking every ~3 hours to feed.
However the last few nights he has woken every hour from 8pm - 4am with waving arms, straining and grunting and rubbing his face / clawing at his face. This is what he normally does when he wakes by the way, it's just every hour now!
And from 4am onwards it feels like every 30 minutes we're having to put his dummy back in to settle him back to sleep.
He also seems more grizzly and unsettled during the day, less happy and willing to play with toys and smile.
I dont know if that's because he's not slept well at night, or if the whole episode is just a small phase because of a 12 week growth spurt / 3rd development leap?

My main concerns are:

• How do we get him to sleep better unswaddled? His wavy arms seem to be causing problems when he's in a sleeping bag
• Is there a way to solve the problem of needing his dummy to re-settle after a wake up? I think he's too young to try something like controlled crying to get him off it. I'd rather he had it still because im not aware of any other negatives to it and during the day he gets incredibly grizzly / screamy without it once he's ~30-45 minutes into his awake time after napping.

On that subject, it is also required for naps. He goes down for day naps quite easily as long as he has his dummy and monkey soother blankie. Not a chance without the dummy though. For that reason i quite want to keep it.

Thanks for any advice on our situation!

I had the same problem with DS who started breaking out of his normal swaddle but was didn't have control of his arms properly enough to be unswaddled! We bought this great transition swaddle from Amazon. I can't remember if this is the actual name but it has "love to dream" on the front so try looking for that. It keeps their arms up by their head to stop them flailing but otherwise is just a sleep sack. Then you can unzip one arm at a time when he is ready and eventually just use it as a lightweight sleep sack (which we are now on at 4 months old).

No real advice re dummy I'm afraid as DS won't take one! But i guess it's the trade up between getting sleep but you having to keep putting it back in. As far as I know they can't feel around for it properly until like 8 months but I could be wrong!

Also I personally wouldn't do CC yet it isn't recommended until baby is 6 months :)

What about using other positive sleep associations that don't require your intervention? DS has continual white noise on for all naps and all night and also a muslin that smells of me and a comforter. Babies can take a while to learn to self settle though. So if he really needs the dummy you may just have to keep putting it back in for now?!

Hi Rosebud,

Thanks for the response, i'll try something like that then, i think you're right in that his arms are still too out of control to be unswaddled! He's just started flailing at toys and grabbing some things but is definitely not a controlled movement.

Regarding sleep assosciations, im not sure what more we can do. We normally start the below process around 7.30:

• Feed
• Bath (sometimes)
• Cuddles, shushes + songs
• Swaddle
• Put in cot with his monkey blankie

He used to get off to sleep well without the dummy and sleep ~8.30 - 1am, feed, then sleep 1.30am - 5.30am, feed, then need his dummy to go back to sleep for the 3rd stint. So it never used to be a real issue with the dummy, it's only since he's been waking frequently and being agitated.
I'm hoping it's just a phase, we're going to go back to trying to swaddle tonight until we can get a sack like you suggested.

Thanks!

Oh i meant to add we put white noise on too.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things then!!! It may well be a phase.

Have you heard of wonder weeks? It basically outlines all of the big developmental milestones babies go through in their first year of life. There is one around week 12 I believe. It definitely caused my son some issues with sleeping. So it could be that. There is always something going on in their developing brains and things are constantly changing. I have given up trying to predict why one night he is great and one night terrible haha!

My little boy is doing the same thing! He's 14 weeks and this started at about 11 weeks. He's ok for his first stint of sleep and then after he wakes for his first feed (BF) he fidgets all night long, arms and legs flailing, clawing at his face, rubbing his face repeatedly into the matress (or me if I try and settle him on me) until he wakes himself up. Then I can only get him to settle by breastfeeding him /him having a chew on my nipple (won't take a dummy). This cycle just keeps on repeating then all night long. When I tried to swaddle him he just seemed to fling his entire body and was still waking himself by rubbing his face into the matress. He even yawns whilst doing this even though he's asleep. I'm worried he's spending halfthe night in this light state of sleep and obviously it's tiring for me.

I filmed him one night to show the health visitor and she said he must just be a restless baby :(